Curious Girl
by savannavansmutsmut
Summary: Bella questions her sanity when she wakes up to find herself seventeen again and back at Charlie's, getting ready for her first day at Forks High, despite having committed suicide twenty years after the Cullen's left. Has she entered the afterlife, or a twisted episode of Quantum Leap?
1. Chapter 1 Prologue and Finding Heaven

**Curious Girl by Savannavansmutsmut**

**All Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

_**This is not a foreshadowing to a sad ending. I hate sad endings and refuse to write them! This is just the first step toward Bella questioning her sanity. Just so you know, she is not dead. This story is Rated 'M' because of later lemons and suicide in the prologue. Also, there could be one part that may be construed as rape**_**. I will warn you before we get into that chapter. But, yeah, there is sex and suicide mentioned throughout the whole story, so if you're sensitive to that stuff, this story may not be for you.**

**Chances are you will find yourself confused during this story at times, but have faith! This is a story that requires some thought, concentration, and attention to the small details. So, go potty, get a cup of something yummy, and then sit back for the ride. I promise if you take the time to read the WHOLE story, everything will make sense in the end!**

**Thank Dollybigmomma for resurrecting this story. She worked **

**hard to make it readable. Please leave her some love in your reviews!**

**Prologue**

When I was little, I always thought these cliffs were where the earth ended. Somehow they always seemed so…final. Like nothing else existed beyond this drop. As I stared off toward the horizon, I could truly appreciate that sentiment now.

The spray off the ocean cooled my skin as I walked along the cliffs, watching as the furious waves crashed and foamed below. The sun was setting in the west over the water, splashing the storm clouds riding just above the horizon with deep golds, oranges, and reds that faded up into dark purple across the darkening sky. I was standing on the lower cliff while I watched the sun sink out of sight, bringing on the twilight as I contemplating my life. How everything had gone so horribly wrong.

Edward.

His name echoed through my memory. I made my way up to the highest cliff. I was too old and broken now to let those memories of him take hold. His actions had proven that he didn't love me enough to stay. After he left, I never healed. My life as the school librarian had just compounded it all and kept my loss pressed to the forefront. To walk the halls where he had once stood made it hard to breathe. I'd finally come to the point where I couldn't take it anymore as I stood there and watched the kids go by. So young. So naïve. I wanted to scream, scream at them to run, to leave, to never look back at each other because with love only came pain. Crippling, agonizing pain.

I gazed at the dark water churning violently below me. I felt calm. Peace settled deep into my bones, I knew I wasn't going to suffer any more. I stepped off the ledge, and at the age of thirty-eight, my life flashed before me. My sad, lonely life.

Edward.

My sweet Edward loved me in my mind, but then my memory moved forward and he was gone. And then there was Jacob. He had tried to love me, even fought against the supernatural powers of imprinting for me. But in the end, he, too, would leave me.

I was obviously meant to be alone.

Getting lost in my studies, taking the job at the school after graduation, it all flashed before me now, but now, it all settled back down to one thought.

Edward.

He was gone, still gone after twenty years, and I was still broken. As long as I was trapped in this state, I would always be broken. That fragile human soul he had always claimed he wanted to protect so much? He ripped that part of me out and crushed it under his feet as he walked away, leaving behind this shell that what was left of me now occupied, to be forced through the motions of life, never living.

I had grown to hate him over the years; he had broken me, made me bitter, and made me hate the thought of love, because he taught me that love only brought pain. Debilitating, excruciating pain, and I'd had enough of it. I didn't want to feel it anymore. I didn't want to feel _anything_ anymore. Time had been my enemy, and now I was out of it.

The icy water swallowed me, wrapping around me, holding me like the frigid arms I had missed for so long. I closed my eyes and felt the burn in my lungs. Not long, no, not long at all and I would have no more pain.

I was finally free.

**Chapter 1 – Finding Heaven**

"Bella? Bella! Come on, honey, you're going to be late," Charlie's voice yanked me from the darkness.

My breath caught and a smile grew on my face. It had been two years since Charlie had died and here he was calling to me, calling me home to him in heaven.

"Bells!" I felt him shake me awake.

My eyes fluttered open and I saw his concerned face. I had missed him so much. I leaped forward hugging him tightly in my arms.

"Bells? Honey, are you alright?" He examined my face and gently wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I'm just so happy to see you."

He laughed a little. "I'm happy you're here, too," he gently kissed my forehead and then stepped back, "Now hurry up or you're going to be late for school."

"School?"

"Yeah, school. You know, that place you go every day until you get your diploma?"

I looked at him confused and for the first time, I took in my surroundings.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Bells?"

I was standing in my old room, in Charlie's house. I looked up and caught my reflection in the mirror that hung on the closet door. I gasped and stumbled back and looked back at Charlie again. He looked over at the mirror that I was looking in.

"What's wrong, Bells?"

I closed the distances between me and the mirror, touching my face.

"Um, Bells?" My eyes found Charlie's concerned face again.

I gave him a weak smile. "I'm sorry, Dad; it's just not what I expected."

He looked confused. "Um, okay, I'm going to let you get ready now."

I laughed to myself. That was just classic Charlie. I examined my room for a moment. Everything was just as it was when I had first moved in. This was an odd version of heaven. Though I did like my body. My skin was tight again and my eyes were shining with excitement. That was when I spotted the box in the corner of the room. Curious, I walked over and opened it. My heart stopped. It was full of my things. More precisely, it was full of the things I had brought from Phoenix when I moved to Forks. I spun around and quickly ran to my closet, my heart pounding. I flung the doors open. There were only a few things hanging up. My chest felt like it would explode. I quickly looked out my window and everything was just as it was so many years ago when I first moved in with Charlie. My truck, my welcome home present from Charlie, was parked in the driveway. It was the same monster I had driven all the way through college when it finally died for good. I would have had Jake fix it, but when it caught fire, there was nothing left to salvage. I cried that day. I quickly threw my clothes on and ran out the front door.

I was opening the door to the truck when I heard Charlie call to me. "Bells, your bag!"

I looked up and saw him holding my backpack out for me. I quickly hurried up to grab it.

"Breakfast?" he asked.

"Um, no, I'm too nervous. I don't want to be late."

"Okay, have a good day."

"Thanks, Dad. You, too."

I pulled my keys out of the side pocket of my bag and laughed at myself for remembering that they were there. I started up the truck and found comfort in the old familiar roar. I closed my eyes and let the sound envelope me. Home, this truck felt like home, and then I opened my eyes and saw Charlie standing on the front porch with a grin on his face. I was home. It was then I realized he was waiting for me to go, so I threw the truck in reverse and as if out of habit, found myself headed for the high school.

I was pondering what kind of things they taught you in school in heaven. My heaven seemed so perfect for me, so comforting. The old familiar ache was still there and that was disappointing. I thought for sure that once I died, the pain of losing Edward would have died as well. Maybe that was what they taught, how to lose the pain. My knuckles tightened around the steering wheel. I wanted my pain to stop. That was why I was here.

I pulled into the school parking lot and my heart stopped. The students were standing around talking, waiting for the first bell to ring. Students that I recognized. All of them, I knew all of them. Now I was confused. I didn't understand how Angela, Jessica, Lauren, Mike, Tyler, Eric, and Ben could have all died and ended up in my heaven. I gave them all a weak smile, unsure how to ask them how they died and then decided I didn't want to ask because then they would want to know how I died and I was suddenly ashamed about killing myself. Jessica came up and introduced herself, which I thought was odd and wondered if she had forgotten me.

Then I heard another voice. Tyler said, "You must be Isabella. I'm Tyler, nice to meet you."

"Um, just Bella." This was all very confusing.

He smiled. "Okay, Just Bella, do you need help finding where you need to go?"

I saw a worried look in Lauren's eyes. I laughed a little to myself knowing how that story played out before.

"No, but thanks."

Then Angela spoke up. "You should sit with us at lunch."

I smiled and nodded okay and hurried to the office. Ms Cope startled when I burst into the office and then smiled.

"Isabella Swan?"

I nodded my head yes and her smile grew three times wider.

"Welcome to Forks, honey. How are you adjusting to our little town?"

Her words threw me for a minute. Forks? Wasn't this heaven?

"Isn't this heaven?"

She let out a slight chuckle. "I'd like to think so, but some people don't like the weather here. You're from Phoenix, right?"

My head started pounding. Phoenix. I hadn't been from Phoenix in decades. I was staring hard at my truck keys in my hand. Was I really here? Was this really my junior year all over again? The implications of what this meant caused me to shiver. Would I see him again? I was suddenly afraid to even think his name.

"You feeling okay, honey?" Her words snapped me back from my thoughts.

I gave her a weak smile. "Yes, just nervous."

She gave me a warm smile. "I guess that's to be expected, but I think you'll do great here."

She was handing my schedule and a map to me and I took them, afraid to look down, afraid to see the classes listed. I was terrified to see if I had Mr. Banner for biology. That was where he would be, that was where we had first met. My heart began to race.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Mrs. Cope asked again.

I tried to breathe in, but it felt like the air would not come. What if they were here? What should I do? What if I was back in time? Could I stop them from leaving me, stop him from leaving me? My mind immediately snapped to my time in the meadow with Edward. That was when he explained what I was to him, his singer. I glanced at my schedule. Mr. Banner was listed as my biology teacher right after lunch, just like he had been my junior year.

My heart began to race as I stepped into the hall. Edward, would I see Edward again? My heart was racing out of excitement and fear; I knew how this story ended, with me sad and broken. Could I change it? Could I be enough for him? Could I not be a weak thing that needed to be protected? Just then, I caught sight of her and my breath caught and my heart raced. I knew she could hear it. Her eyes found me and when they did, I smiled. Alice. I hadn't realized how much I missed her until this moment. I wanted to run to her, hug her and tell her how much I loved her. I looked deep into her black hungry eyes and knew it was best to keep my distance. She probably would not bite me, but I didn't want to cause her pain. She seemed almost startled by my smile. It was then that I remembered that most humans did not look them in the eye.

Her face went blank and I knew she was having a vision. I couldn't help but grin internally at my own secret knowledge. I wondered if she was having the vision of us being friends. My eyes were still on her, terrified that if I looked away that she would disappear. The look on her face was startled when she came out of her vision and then a wide smile crossed her face as she saw me there still smiling at her. She waved and I waved back and then she quickly disappeared.

I made my way to class, my heart soaring. If nothing else, I got to see Alice and she was happy to see me. By lunchtime, I was determined to find a way to fix things. I wanted to find a way to keep them from leaving me. It was then that I suddenly remembered Edward's disappearance after my first day. He had left because he couldn't handle sitting next to me in class. I looked over at their table and saw them all and I thought for a moment I would cry.

"That's the Cullen's," Jessica said and began to explain who they were.

I tried to fight the tears in my eyes as I caught sight of the back of Edward's head, then suddenly he turned and his black eyes met me with full force. My heart raced as he took me in. I knew he was trying to read my broken mind, he was finding out that I was a freak, that he could not hear me. My cheeks flushed, almost saddened that he couldn't. I often wondered if he could have read my mind and really knew how much I loved him if he would have stayed. Someone kicked his chair and he pulled his gaze away from me. I was scared to look away, scared that if I did, he wouldn't be there.

"Bella? Bella?" I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Jessica. "I know. That's Edward, but don't even try it, he doesn't date anyone."

I felt my cheeks flush. He had dated me I wanted to say, but I didn't. I knew that after lunch, he was going to be in my class. I knew I was going to sit next to him and he in turn would fight an internal battle, trying desperately not to kill me. I looked back at him worried. I knew my smell caused him pain and his black hungry eyes meant it would all be magnified. I didn't want to hurt him. Not this Edward, this Edward was innocent; he had not left me, not yet, and I didn't want to give him reason to leave.

I tried to come up with a plan of action, one where he could get out of class and into the open air. That was what he needed. He needed fresh air. I remembered that when we first spent time together, he often held his breath to help stay the pain. I made my way to class and stood in the doorway. Edward was sitting alone just as he had so many years ago; he had not yet caught my scent.

"Edward," I whispered. His eyes shot up to find me and my heart raced again. It took me a moment to find myself again as his eyes took me in. I whispered again, "Edward, hold your breath." He looked at me confused. He was probably wondering how I knew he could hear me. "Just do it, Edward, hold your breath."

I saw his chest inhale deeply and I knew he was preparing to hold his breath.

I smiled and Mr. Banner's voice brought me back. "Miss Swan?" I smiled and nodded and stepped into class. I felt Edward's curious eyes on me. "You'll be sitting next to Mr. Cullen."

I should have known Edward's curiosity would get the better of him. As I approached, I saw him take a light sniff of the air and his body went ridged. The monster in him reared and his glare became intense. I let out a disappointed sigh and shook my head.

"Mr. Banner. I don't believe Mr. Cullen is feeling well."

Edward's hand was over his mouth trying to suppress a growl, but I knew it would look as if he was getting ready to vomit.

"Edward," a concerned Mr. Banner spoke, "Why don't you head to the nurses office."

I remembered it was thoughts of Carlisle that kept him from losing it.

"Yes, maybe they can call your _dad_ to come get you."

I looked pointedly at Edward and stepped wide out of his way, trying to help in any way I could. His eyes stayed on me as he left the room. I settled into my seat and glanced over at his empty chair and my heart broke. I missed him. I wanted him, I wanted to hold him, but I knew at this point that I could not.

**EPOV**

I sat at the lunch table listening to Jasper's thoughts. We had not fed in a while, and we were testing his control. I thought this was a stupid, reckless thing to do and he was suffering terribly. Why push him? Why not err on the side of caution? We knew he needed to eat more frequently. I glanced over at Alice; she had a wide smile on her face as her eyes went to the new girl. I gave her a confused look. Why would Alice be interested in the new girl? I tried to read her mind, but she was reciting nursery rhymes in Cantonese backwards, at least I thought they were backwards. She was hiding something from me. 'How is he, Edward?' she asked with her mind.

I checked back into Jasper's mind as I poked at the chicken on my tray. He was fantasizing about killing a freshman standing too close to our table. I kicked his chair to bring him out of his thoughts. His look of shame said he was sorry. I nodded at him and gave him a reassuring smile.

Then I heard my name. I listened for a moment without looking. I recognized the voice. It was Jessica Stanley. I hoped she wasn't back to having fantasies about me. No, she was telling the new girl about my family and I wondered what the new girl thought of us. It was my job to be the lookout, to know when someone was too close to our secret. I tried to listen, but I could not find her voice. I almost thought she had left, but why would Jessica continue to speak? Why would she continue to prattle on about us? Her thoughts had a sharp edge to them. Jessica didn't like that she was looking at me?

I quickly turned around, my eyes caught in deep brown chocolate pools. Her heart raced. Still, no thoughts from her, just silence. Her eyes seemed to speak volumes, but nothing I could understand. There was sadness in them, a deep longing. What did she want? To be with me? Was she pining for me? No, the look wasn't right; it looked more as if she was sorry. Emmett kicked my chair and I tore myself away from her gaze to see what he wanted.

'Well, what does she think of us?' Emmett asked curious.

I ran my hand through my hair. I didn't know, and even more so, her reaction to us was far different from any I had ever seen around a human. I just shrugged at his unspoken question. The bell rang and I quickly made my way to class away from my sibling's questions. I needed to try and figure this out. As I walked into biology, Mr. Banner was thinking about the new girl, she was in our class. She would have to sit next to me. I smiled. I would have more time to try and unlock this secret.

I sat down, eagerly waiting for her to show up when I heard my name. The soft sweet voice caressed it and I looked up to see if an angel had entered the room. There she stood in the doorway, her eyes boring into me unflinchingly as she told me to hold my breath. She wasn't scared. Her heart raced, but she wasn't scared. I didn't understand her words, but the sorrow in her eyes made me want to listen to her.

I found myself inhaling and holding my breath as she asked, complying for some reason out of reflex. A reflex I was not aware of. I wanted to do as she said; I wanted to do anything to please her. I couldn't understand why. She wanted me to hold my breath. Why? So I couldn't smell her? Surely she wouldn't know. It was then that I realized she had whispered, looked directly at me, and whispered across the noisy room. She knew I could hear her. I had to know who she was. How did she know I could hear her? Did this new girl somehow know our secret?

I had to smell her to see if she smelled like anyone familiar. I took a little sniff and regretted it instantly. I felt my throat explode as every part of my body tensed to spring at her. I gripped the table trying to hold myself back, but I knew it was not up to the task. I had to kill her. Now! I covered my mouth, trying to suppress the snarl emanating from my throat. She seemed to know what the matter with me was and told the teacher I was ill.

What? The curious side of me tried to push forward as she spoke, but the monster suppressed it. Mr. Banner told me to head out to see the nurse, but I didn't move and my prey's voice spoke to me again, mentioning calling Carlisle.

Her eyes were piercing into mine as she said the words. I noticed the way she said dad, as if she knew something. Carlisle would not be happy if I killed a human and though there was something different about her, I could tell by the pounding in her chest and the flush of her delicious red cheeks that she was human, a very tasty human. She took a few steps back from me. I looked at her face. No, still not afraid. Disappointed?

I stepped out of the classroom and took in a deep breath. I was trying to clear the scent of her from my lungs, but there was still a light trace of her here from when she had lingered in the doorway. I hurried out of the building and made my way to the car, fighting against the monster that was planning to kill her, plotting her demise after school. All the different ways I could get her alone and take what I wanted from her played in my mind like a reel of my favorite movie, and I had to fight myself not to run back into the school and grab her so I could drag her with me and act them out.

I growled in frustration. I did not want to kill her I told myself. I thought of my father's disappointment. It was as if she knew thoughts of my father would give me enough strength to leave her alive. This curious silent girl's eyes seemed to look straight through my careful façade and not flinch. Surely she couldn't know what we were, she would be afraid if she did. She would have to be afraid. I was consumed by my thoughts of the girl, trying to figure out her mystery and fight against the monster that wanted to kill her. I heard a thump on my car and jumped.

'Ha! Gotcha!' Emmett thought smugly.

I just growled in response. I looked up and saw Alice and Jasper approaching. Did Alice see this? In her mind, she was singing a lullaby in Cantonese. Again, I wasn't sure if she was singing backwards. I was now thoroughly annoyed that I had told her that I did not know Cantonese. The ride home was silent and gave my monster time to plan the girl's death.

'Edward, don't,' Alice's mental voice chastened me.

Could she see me killing the girl? I had to leave, get away from her, from here. But who was she and did she know what I was? Yes, how did she know that her smell would send me into a frenzy to kill her? My curiosity pushed forward again. I wanted to speak with her, but I knew it was impossible.

"I'm going to visit the new girl." My eyes found Alice as she continued to speak. "I'm going to go talk to her."

Rosalie sneered.

Emmett voiced his surprise. "What? Why?"

Jasper did not comment or show interest. Did he know? His thoughts were of Alice's safety. He was concerned about the Volturi? My eyes shot to him and Alice elbowed him.

"You didn't answer Emmett," I heard my voice speak, but I wondered if it was the curiosity in me or the monster in me that wanted to know why she was going. I didn't want to share her with Alice. If anyone was going to eat her, it would be me alone! I recoiled at my own thoughts.

"She'll be good for us," was all Alice said.

We made it home and Alice disappeared into the forest in the opposite direction of Bella's house. She was going to hunt and then go see the girl. She was not going to eat her. That soothed the monster. No, I would get to do that. My face twisted in pain at the thought.

"Emmett! Jasper!" Alice's voice came from the distance, "Don't let Edward leave!"

They both looked at me. I took in a deep breath and looked at the ground, trying to hide my guilt as they walked to my sides.

Emmett put his arm over my shoulder. "Come on, Bro, how about you tell us what's going on."

God, how I wished I knew!

**A/N: Thanks for reading and please review!**


	2. Chapter 2 Curious Vampires

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Oh, and last chapter you guys may have notice some similarities to Stephenie's Midnight Sun. Yeah, totally did that on purpose. So, all props to Stephenie. Midnight Sun is my favorite book, even if it isn't complete yet.**

**Chapter 2 - Curious Vampires**

**BPOV**

I was just covering the fish I'd prepared in marinade for dinner and was putting it in the refrigerator when I heard a knock on the door. I didn't remember anyone coming by my first day of school the first time around. I quickly washed my hands and hurried to the door. I realized it might be Edward here to kill me, but shook it off. No, he wouldn't knock. I opened the door wide and was greeted with a pair of honey topaz eyes. It was Alice, and she had hunted. My face exploded with excitement and I knew she could hear my heart race. I could not contain myself anymore; it had been so long since I had seen my best friend. I flung myself at her, hugging her tightly. Her arms came up hesitantly and I laughed, realizing how weird I must have seemed to her. I let go and quickly grabbed her icy hand, pulling her into the house. I was afraid to let go, but I saw her look down at me holding on to her.

"I'm sorry," I said and laughed again at myself, just too giddy to have my friend back. She looked at the smile on my face and then her face went blank for a moment. I sat down and waited. When her expression changed, I smiled. "What did you see?"

Her mouth dropped open in shock. As soon as I saw her standing on the porch, I had decided to tell her everything and now I just had to find a way to do it.

She looked at me curiously and then spoke carefully, "Who are you?"

Tears fought forward in my eyes as she sat down across from me, waiting for the answer.

"I'm Bella Swan, your best friend, and I haven't seen you in years. I missed you so much, Alice."

She looked confused and there was nothing funnier than a confused vampire. I laughed a little. "I know I sound crazy, and I am I think. I'm not sure what happened. One minute I was jumping off a cliff killing myself, and then the next thing I knew, I woke up here, back in time, to my first day of school at Forks High."

"Jumping off a cliff? What on earth for?"

The pain must have been evident in my eyes because she moved next to me and carefully put her arm around me, testing to see if it was okay. I leaned in and took in the sweet vampire smell I had missed so much and sighed. Tears began to escape against my will.

"You all leave, after my eighteenth birthday, you disappear, never to return." I knew she knew there was only a couple of reasons for them to move; accident (someone killed a human) or suspicion. She looked at me carefully. She probably knew that I knew. Was that why she thought they had left?

I shook my head. "It's not what you're thinking. I love your family dearly and I'd never betray them."

I cringed a little at my words. I did talk to Jacob about them, but only after I knew that he knew.

"What is it, Bella?"

I had to confess. "Well, about a year after you left, I talked to Jacob Black, but he already knew, and sometimes talking about you helped calm him."

"Calm him?"

I ran my fingers through my hair and bit my lip. "He lives in La Push."

She had an unsure expression on her face. I knew the only way to gain her trust now would be to tell her everything. The Alice I knew and loved could handle it.

"What do you know of their legends?"

"Um, that they're shape shifters, they change into wolves." I nodded hoping she would get it. "But they all died out."

I laughed blackly. "That's what you think."

Her eyes went wide. "But I…we don't..."

"Don't worry, Alice, they don't start changing for another year, long after you leave." The words stabbed at me as I said them.

"Bella, if what you're saying is true…" She paused and swallowed. I wondered if talking about the wolves set her senses on alert, "Then why did we leave? I don't understand."

"On my birthday," I started slowly, tears flowing freely as I spoke between sobs as she listened intently, "I'm such a klutz, accident prone really. I was at your house, with everyone, you had made a cake that could feed fifty which was ridiculous really, Alice, there's no way I could eat that all by myself."

Her eyes widened a little realizing how much I knew.

"I cut my finger, Alice." Her eyes got a worried look in them. "It was just a paper cut, but it was enough to bombard everyone's senses and the collective surge of bloodlust set off poor Jasper. Edward pushed me out of the way. It wasn't Jasper's fault, but Edward overreacted. He wouldn't stand for me getting hurt, and so much had already happened, he had already saved me so many times before. When he left, he told me he was tired of looking after me." My sobs heaved hard from my chest. "He said it would be like he never existed, but it wasn't, that jerk, it wasn't, he destroyed me. I never recovered and that was why I stepped off that cliff twenty years later, to stop the pain he left, but it's still here and when I saw him today, I don't know, I hoped…I hoped I could change it."

"Edward?"

"He said he loved me," I whimpered. I hated myself at that moment for being so weak.

Her body stiffened. "That…" she cleared her throat, "That doesn't sound like Edward."

I laughed blackly, "No, it doesn't, not the Edward you know."

She looked at me confused.

"He's having trouble dealing with my scent. I'm his singer, Alice, his own personal brand of heroin as he described it once."

She looked at me carefully and I thought I saw her sniff and then shrug. I laughed.

"He can't read my mind, and right now that's the only thing keeping him from killing me, that and the thought of Carlisle's reaction. He doesn't want to disappoint him."

She looked at me curiously again. I knew she couldn't outright ask, but I could tell her like I told Edward all those years ago.

"I know, Alice, I know you and your family are vampires, but that never stopped me from loving you all completely."

Her eyes met mine, studying me. "How did…?"

"The first time around, Edward was what you would call careless. Tyler Crowley hit a patch of ice in his van. It skidded toward me. I was going to die, but Edward saved me. He pulled me out of the way and then when the van spun round to crush us again he caught it and then shoved it away from us."

She stood up shaking her head in disbelief. "Edward wouldn't..."

Her face went blank for a moment. She was checking something. She had a sad look on her face. I was pretty sure she was just seeing Edward killing me. He hadn't desensitized himself yet.

"He hasn't gotten used to my smell yet. Wait, hold on," I held up a finger and ran up the stairs. I found the shirt I had slept in last night and brought it down to her. "Give him this and have him work with Carlisle."

She took the shirt and then checked the future again. She gasped and then squealed, "Oh, my gosh, Bella, I can't believe it!"

I felt the tears press forward. I wondered what she saw.

"I have to tell the others." She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. "I just knew it! I knew it when I saw you this morning we were going to be best friends!"

I smiled at her enthusiasm, "Me, too."

She laughed, "Of course."

She looked at the clothes I was wearing and I laughed out loud, startling her a little. "I was wondering how long it was going to take you to get to my clothes."

A big grin grew across her face. "Really, Bella, if you're going to be a Cullen, you have to dress like one."

Her words cut through me. She had said them before so long ago, but they didn't come true. She saw the sadness in my eyes.

"What is it?"

"You said that before, but you still left. You all still left." The sobs suddenly started to heave from my chest.

"Bella, oh, Bella, I'm so sorry."

"Don't leave me again. Please, Alice, whatever Edward says, just please, don't leave me again."

She kissed my forehead and hugged me. "Okay, I promise." I was able to pull myself together a little more. "We're still going shopping this weekend," she added and I couldn't help but laugh. I had my Alice back.

**EPOV**

I sat between Emmett and Jasper silently. Both were watching me carefully as Rose sat indifferently across the room. We were waiting for Alice. I wondered what she was up to, what did she see? Esme came fluttering in and gently touched my cheek.

"Edward, honey, please tell us what's going on."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to collect my thoughts. I was going to have to leave. I couldn't stay here. I would kill Bella Swan if I didn't leave.

"I'm going to go to Denali for a while."

Esme gasped. I knew she would have cried if she could. She didn't like to break up the family. Even though I was the oldest of her children, I was physically the youngest and she saw me as her baby. She disappeared instantly and I heard her calling Carlisle in the kitchen.

"Please, you have to come home now, he said he's leaving. No, I don't know what's wrong, he won't tell me." She was silent. I could only assume my father was on his way home. I felt bad for interrupting his day. We went back to waiting in silence. My father arrived a few minutes after the phone call and stood before me with concerned eyes. I wasn't sure how to explain it, the need to kill this girl. I needed to, had to. It was required. My curious side pressed forward; how did she know I would react that way? I wanted answers. I wanted to talk to her, but I knew I couldn't. I knew if I saw her again, I would just kill her. I heard the front door open and I caught a whiff of her scent and prayed that if there was a god that Alice was not stupid enough to bring the girl here. My body was ridge as I held myself in place on the couch. It, like the table, was not up to the task.

"Edward?" I heard my father's concerned voice, but I was too focused on the scent. A growl was emanating from my throat and I had no control to stop it. Please, God, let it not be her. I leaped off the couch, spinning around and found a startled Alice, alone. Thank God, oh, thank God. My monster would not believe it, he had smelled the girl's presence, and he wanted her now.

I vaguely felt Jasper and Emmett grab me. There was a look of disappointment in Alice's eyes. I instinctively read her mind and gasped, grabbing my throat as I saw what Alice had seen. The image of me being that close to the girl, kissing her, then in the vision, I'd kissed down her neck. I snapped at the image. I wanted to rip her throat out, not kiss it. What was going on? Why was Alice seeing this and why did I still smell that delicious girl? I let out a roar in frustration.

The scent was getting stronger as Alice approached. She handed something to Carlisle. They were talking, but I couldn't make out the words clearly. I heard the word 'singer' and Carlisle's eyes seemed to widen with understanding. He seemed to agree, and then I felt my body being dragged out of the house away from the smell. I thrashed, but my brothers gripped tighter. "Come on, let's get you some food." Yes, I thought, get me the girl, but they did not head in the direction of her house. In fact, they did not let me go until we were far from town. The scent of a mountain lion had stopped us. My brothers knew this was my favorite, but at this moment, it held no appeal for me. "Come on, Edward. Go get it."

I looked at their concerned eyes. I could think a little more clearly now. I didn't want to kill the girl. I wanted to talk to her. My mind wandered back to the image Alice had shown me. I snapped again. I wanted to tear out her throat, but not as badly. Far from her scent, my curious side voiced its opinion. Why was I kissing this girl, did I love her in the vision? She seemed to be enjoying it, unafraid. Her hands moved over my body and tangled up into my hair and we were wrapped around each other. I felt an odd stirring in my body that I had never felt before, a feeling I didn't understand. I remembered the way she said my name before I caught her scent, she sounded like an angel. The concern in her eyes confused me, the disappointment. I felt bad that I had disappointed her.

I felt a large jolt against my body, smashing me to the ground.

"Earth to Edward," Emmett laughed. He had tackled me, and when I didn't respond, he just got up and gave me a hand. "Come on, you need to hunt already. Rose is waiting for me."

I sniffed the air and caught the scent of the mountain lion again and took off after it. Jasper and Emmett were close behind. Once it was drained, Emmett clapped his hands. "Alright, that's a start. Dad said you should be thoroughly stuffed, though." He paused, sniffing the air. Jasper and I did the same. We caught the scent of a herd of deer and we ran off after them.

**BPOV**

I had begged Alice before she left to not show Edward the vision of me changed if she had one. It was a great source of contention the first time around and I hoped that keeping it from him would put off the inevitable long enough for him to see things my way, see that I loved him too much not to be changed and be with him forever. I didn't fully explain this to Alice. I just told her that he didn't react well to the idea the first time around. She nodded in agreement.

"Once he's fed, make sure he keeps my shirt with him. He needs to get used to my scent if he's going to sit next to me in biology. It may take him a few days, but let him know I understand and look forward to us being able to talk."

My words echoed in my head and I wondered if even I truly understood. It had been so long, could I be patient? It took every ounce of strength in my body not to run to him now. Run to his house and take him in my arms. The old familiar pain stabbed at me again. He didn't want me then, what made me think he would want me now? I rolled over and cried myself to sleep.

My nightmare was thick and vivid, just as if it was happening now. Edward was with me in the forest, telling me he was tired of me, tired of taking care of me, he didn't love me. He was leaving me again. My screams woke me from my deep sleep.

My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I heard a deep voice whisper, "Bella, are you okay?" I looked across the room and standing nervously by the window was Emmett and I couldn't help but smile.

He smiled in return. I sat up and patted the bed next to me and he looked at me confused. "Really, Emmett, beds are good for more than just sex, not to mention Rose would kill us both."

He let out a deep chuckle and moved to the bed.

"How is Edward?" I asked.

"Um, well, I'm not sure. That shirt you sent over sure does drive him crazy."

I laughed a little. "I know, and don't you go telling him to just kill me and get it over with."

He looked surprised. "I'm not a mind reader, Emmett, but you'll grow to love me. You're the big brother bear I never had. So, what are you doing here?"

His grin turned sheepish. "I was just, um, in the neighborhood when I heard you. I heard..." he looked confused, "You screamed, are you okay? You were crying." He touched my cheek, wiping a tear.

"Yes, Emmett," I wiped my cheeks and flashed him a smile, "It was just a bad dream. I'm glad you're here, it helps," I added the last bit carefully. He wasn't my vampire, but to see him, to see a Cullen and have him in my room, let me know they were not gone. They were here. For now. "I'll bet you're glad you don't dream."

He chuckled a little. "Not if they do this."

He rubbed the tear between his fingertips and I leaned into his side. He looked down at me confused, but then he gently put his arm around me like I knew he would. I smiled, pleased that he was there.

"So, you were in the neighborhood?"

He nodded his head yes and I laughed. "I forgot what curious creatures vampires could be." His mouth dropped open. "Really, Emmett, what would you be doing in my neighborhood?"

His lips pressed tightly together as if he was trying to think up an excuse. "Alice said," he paused, "she said you knew."

"That you all are vampires? Yes, I know. I know you don't sleep, I know you sparkle in the sun, I know that you can hear everything, that your sense of smell is strong, that since your family is 'vegetarian', that sense is more pronounced. I know you're super strong, I know Jasper can absorb and manipulate emotions, I know that Edward can read everyone's mind apart from mine, and Alice can see the future."

He cut me off. "Wait, Edward can't read your mind?"

I smiled. "No."

He let out a deep laugh. "Well, little sister, we're going to have some fun with that."

"Oh, Emmett, I don't know, he's having such a hard time right now. I don't think it would be such a good idea to mess with him."

"Oh, come on. Alice told us it was his curiosity that keeps him from killing you. It would drive him nuts if I knew what you were thinking and he didn't. Come on, Bella, please?" he begged like a five year old asking for a new toy.

"I don't know, Emmett..."

"Come on, let's just plan it and if he's in a good enough mood to do it, we'll give each other a sign that it's on."

"A sign?"

"Yeah, I'll blow you a kiss and if you catch it then I'll know it's on."

"Oh, I'm just sure that'll go over so well with Rose."

"You just let me handle Rosie. So, here's my idea. You'll have a notebook and you'll write a word in it and I'll tell everyone what it is without looking, effectively 'reading your mind,'" he giggled. "We just have to come up with a list of words."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, there would be no getting around this. "Okay, it would be better if they're words that have to do with things I like so he'll really think you're reading my mind."

He jumped up off the bed, excited that I was agreeing to his scheme. I just shook my head. "Okay, um, how about cooking, books, sun, sparkly, Edward, kissing?" I looked up and saw Emmett's face twisted.

"What? I said things I liked. I'm sorry; I got a little distracted when I thought about sunshine."

He just shook his head. "Fine, it's not like anyone is going to know what you're talking about anyway." He let out a sigh. "Alright, what else?"

"Claire de Lune."

"Claire the who?"

"Claire de Lune, by Debussy," I wrote the list down. "Piano," I added.

"You play piano?"

"No, I love to listen to Edward play."

Emmett looked at me surprised. "Is there anything you don't know?"

I just shook my head and laughed, "There's a lot I don't know."

The list ended up consisting of twenty words by the time I was done. Emmett had added a few like sexy and big strong muscle man Emmett. I told him that was a bit long, but he insisted it wasn't any longer than Claire de Lune by Debussy. I did draw the line at boobies, insisting that Edward would know I was not thinking about boobies. I also insisted that if I was supposedly thinking about big strong muscle man Emmett that I would definitely be thinking about tasty Edward. Emmett grinned wide at my addition.

"I think you'll be just what our Edward needs."

I laughed a little. "I hope so."

He saw the worried look cross my face. "What is it, Bella? Alice said you and him end up together." The pain seemed to radiate off me. "Don't you want him?"

My eyes shot up and met his. "Yes, of course, more than you know. I'm just afraid he won't want me."

He gave me a crooked grin. "Don't sweat it, little sis, you'll see, he'll come around. With as much as you know, I would think you would know not to bet against Alice."

"Thanks, Emmett." I gave him a hug. "Now, you should get home, I need to get some sleep so I have enough brain power to memorize our list."

He bounced up and down excited. "Sure thing, sis."

He opened the window and hung out one of his legs. "Hey, Emmett?" He turned to see what I had to say. "Thanks, you know, for coming and checking on me when you heard me."

"Anytime, sis." And with that he dropped out of the window and disappeared into the night.

**EPOV**

I had fed so much that my body felt swollen. I left my brothers on the front porch and made my way into the house. 'Up here in my office, Edward,' I heard Carlisle's mind call to me and I made my way up to his office. I could smell a faint trace of the girl. I was sniffing the air when my father's voice snapped me back to reality.

"Edward!"

"Sorry."

"No, it is quite alright, she's your singer." I looked at him confused. "Every once in a while, a human will have a scent that will call to you, sings to you. This girl for some reason believes you're strong enough to get over it." He looked me straight in the eyes, "I believe you can, too, Son. I know you have it in you. Now, she gave us a shirt to work with, and I want you to do your very best to stand where you are when I bring it out."

I understood what he said. I hoped I could comply and nodded my head yes. He pulled the shirt out and I purred with joy as the scent filled my lungs.

"Edward? Are you with me, Son?" My eyes opened and my throat burned, but I did not feel the need to eat. I was too full as it was. I still wanted to taste her. Just a little taste. I wondered if I licked the shirt… I shook my head; that was just wrong. I needed to stop.

"I'm going to hand you the shirt, Edward; can you hold it and not tear it up?"

I took in another deep breath, feeling the burn. If I was going to talk to this girl, I had to get used to this burn. I gauged the pain and tried to focus on things I wanted to ask her. I had so many questions. I nodded my head yes and he held out the shirt for me to take. I let myself adjust to the shirt being closer to me now. The burn was turning more into a dull roar. I could do this. I took the shirt in my hand.

"Keep it with you, Edward. I'd rather you shred the shirt than the girl." I nodded. He was right; I needed to keep it with me. It would help me gauge how much control I really had. I slowly brought the shirt up to my face and inhaled deeply. The scent was potent, the burn stronger. I forced back a growl. When I brought the shirt down from my face, Carlisle was smiling at me. "I believe you've already made exceptional progress."

I nodded in thanks and went to my room. I knew Alice was watching out for me and would let the others know if I was going to lose it. I turned on a CD of my favorite classics and lay back on my couch. I flopped the shirt over my face and closed my eyes. I tried to focus on the music, and the girl, things I would ask the girl. I wondered what she was thinking. The look in her eyes, how did she know? My mind thought of the vision Alice had had and wondered if she was still thinking of it. I checked; no, she was thinking about shopping with the girl. They were going shopping? The excitement in Alice's mind was potent. She loved the girl. Her mind flashed to her vision.

'We need to find this shirt if this is going to happen.' She let the vision play out as if she wasn't paying attention, but I was. I had enough wits about me now to see where we were. The meadow; my meadow.

_I take her to my meadow. I walk to her through beams of sunlight, I sparkle and she smiles. She likes it. I look worried, but I can see that her touch quickly erases all fear. She loves me, I can see it, and I can feel it. She loves me. My hands find her face and I pull her lips to mine. _

I pulled away from Alice's mind knowing what came next, afraid I'd snap if I saw it again. The vision of the girl's face lingered in my mind. I kissed her, she knew what I was and I kissed her. There was an odd stirring inside of me; I was not sure what it was; an unsettling excitement or something like that. I didn't fully understand it.

I found myself thinking about her skin and I wondered if it was soft, it looked soft. Why didn't she flinch away from my touch? It would have been the normal response, instinct. I thought of the vision. In it, she leaned into my hand, wanting to feel my touch. Would she really want to feel it? How did she know the effect she would have on me? How did she know to send her shirt? I had so many unanswered questions about this girl and her seeming knowledge of me and my family and it was driving me to distraction with curiosity.

I lifted it off my face and looked at it. It was just a black t-shirt with a crumbling band logo on it. What was it? I examined it carefully. Depeche Mode? Really, Bella? Why on earth? I laughed to myself and took in another deep breath, bringing her intoxicating essence into my lungs. That would be another question for the girl who was rapidly turning my world upside down.


	3. Chapter 3 What are you thinking

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**We're finally getting closer to the lemons, but not yet. This chapter is a little steamy, though.**

**Chapter 3 - What Are You Thinking?**

**BPOV**

I had searched the halls for him as I walked through the doors of the school. I wanted to see him, but also understood if he felt the need to stay away from me. I would have to endure the distance, but I hoped that his family would be there. I thought I saw glimpses of them all day, but at lunch I would know for sure. I would know if they were there or not; if I was crazy and hallucinating or not.

I pushed open the large double doors and when my eyes fell on their table with all family members present, I let out the breath I had been holding and felt my face explode into a giant smile. Edward's eyes were on me, studying me, and it made me nervous. What did he think of me? Emmett and Alice were both bouncing out of their seats to get my attention. I waved to them both. Emmett actually bumped into Edward and it looked like he might have growled at Emmett. Did it bother him that Emmett was my friend or was he just in a crappy mood because I made his throat feel like an atomic bomb had just exploded? I got into the food line and just grabbed a bottle of lemonade. I was nervous and didn't feel like eating. Besides, if I did settle down, I could always snag some of Alice's food; it was not like she was actually going to eat it. I was paying for my lemonade when I heard Emmett's booming voice across the room.

"BELLA!"

I heard Jessica gasp. I was sure she was shocked that the Cullen's were talking to anyone. Lauren and her both sneered at each other and I just rolled my eyes and let out a sigh.

"BELLA!"

I shook my head and smiled up at Emmett jumping up and down on the other side of the room. He blew me a kiss and Lauren and Jessica gasped even louder, voicing their shock. I looked at Edward and gave him a concerned smile. I didn't want to hurt him more than I had to. I shook my head no. Then he yelled across the room, "Come on, baby, please!"

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him then looked at Edward. Emmett leaned over and whispered something in his ear and Edward smiled. I wondered what it was, but then I saw Edward motion for me to come over. I just about melted. He wanted me; he wanted me to come over.

"Bella!"

Emmett blew me another kiss. This time I caught it laughing and then smacked my butt. My eyes were on Edward and his eyes widened when I smacked my butt and then I noticed it took several paces before his focus shifted back up to my face. Interesting. I had never caught Edward ogling before; this was new. As I approached the table, Emmett jumped up, grabbing me and flinging me around.

"Did you just tell me I should kiss your butt?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "That's the only thing you'll be kissing on me," I stated and at that, he spanked me, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to make a loud smack. I was still laughing when he put me in my chair. My eyes found Edward's as I settled down. I noticed he was standing.

"Are you okay?" I suddenly felt insecure. "Do you need me to move further away?" He raised an eyebrow at me and then looked down at his hands before he quickly sat down and shook his head no.

"Are you going to be alright?" I asked. He gave me a concerned smile.

"I'm fine, are you okay?" Then he glared at Emmett. I laughed to myself. Some things never changed.

"I'm fine, Edward, me and Emmett were just goofing around. Geez, I don't break that easily."

He looked hurt by my last comment and I had to remember this Edward had not been overprotective yet.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

He looked down at his food and tore apart his chicken strips. I reached over to his tray and snagged a piece and put it in my mouth. He looked up at me shocked. I swallowed the food and spoke. "What? It wasn't like you were going to eat it." The table burst into laughter.

"You're hungry?"

I just shrugged in answer and he picked up another piece and brought it to my lips. I took his hand in mine and forced his fingertips into my mouth so I could suck them clean. When my eyes met his, they were wide with shock and his mouth was open in disbelief. I released his hand. "What? It wasn't like you were going to lick your fingers."

At that, he swallowed hard and shifted in his seat. Granted, the Bella of twenty years ago would have never said or done anything like that, but when I was with Jacob, he had brought the vixen out in me and I could see it resurfacing again. I heard Emmett give a low chuckle.

"Bella, you do have such a dirty mind."

I took the cue; he was ready for the game.

"Get out of my head, Emmett. You know it's not that dirty."

He slid a notebook over to me, "Well, let's see?"

Edward raised a curious eyebrow again and for a moment I thought about licking his face. I quickly shook that thought out of my head; Edward in any time would never go for that. I took in a deep breath and noticed Edward carefully studying my expression and I hoped that he hadn't learned to read me yet.

"Okay, Bella, you write a word and I'll tell everyone what it is and we'll decide if it's dirty or not."

I scowled at him and he grinned at me. That wasn't part of the game, but I supposed it could be interesting. Edward eyed us both suspiciously. I scribbled down the first word. Cooking. It was clean enough.

Emmett said, "Cooking." Then he grinned and bumped Jasper, "We could see how the food affected Edward, but how did it affect Bella?" Jasper gave me an evil knowing grin. I blushed and Edward's eyes found mine. He looked surprised.

"Alright, so we all agree, cooking is dirty."

Emmett grabbed the notebook, flipping it open for everyone to see and Edward eye him suspiciously as Emmett wrote the word dirty next to cooking and then slid it back to me.

"Okay, next."

I quickly wrote the word books. Surely he couldn't find anything dirty about books. I looked up at Emmett and grinned, letting him know I was ready.

"Books, Bella? What kind of books have you been reading?" he said in a shocked tone I didn't fully understand. I turned and saw Edward's face; he looked eager. Did he want me to answer?

"Jane Austen."

"ROMANCE!" Emmett boomed. He grabbed the notebook and flipped it open and quickly scribbled dirty next to the word books. I shook my head.

"This is easy." He looked over at Edward and nudged him. Edward just scowled at him. "Let's make this tougher, Bella. How about you give me four words now instead of just one?"

I gave him an annoyed look. The words separately were not dirty, but yes, putting them together was less than pure.

"Come on, sis, I want a challenge."

"Fine," I snapped and started scribbling the words down. When I looked up, Edward gave me a concerned look.

Emmett started chuckling. "Really, Bella, this one is too easy."

I let out a sigh, "Just write dirty, Emmett."

I slid the closed notebook to him, but Edward grabbed it and opened it. Sun. Sparkly. Edward. Kissing. His eyes met mine. He looked confused and I blushed. Edward's eyes quickly found Alice and I could tell they were having a silent conversation. I felt my insides twist as I bit my lip waiting for the outcome of his discussion. Had I gone too far? Emmett's voice broke the silence.

"What's the matter, Eddie, a girl thinking about kissing you too much for you to handle?" I blushed a deeper shade of red.

"Enough, Emmett, I don't know what you're playing at, but leave Bella alone."

"Ah, come on, bro, I thought you'd appreciate me reading her mind for you since you can't!"

"I highly doubt you're reading her mind. You're obviously making her uncomfortable."

I wasn't sure what did it, but I snapped. I did not need Edward's protection, especially from Emmett of all people. I snatched the notebook from in front of Edward and slid it over to Emmett. Emmett's dimpled smile graced everyone at the table and he let out a chuckle.

"Our little sis, Bella bug, was thinking Sun. Sparkly. Edward. Kissing."

He flipped it open and wrote dirty next to it. I leaned back and crossed my arms across my chest trying to look smug and comfortable with the exchange. Emmett slid the notebook back.

"Do another long one."

I nodded in his direction. We both knew the next one was Claire de Lune by Debussy. In true Emmett fashion, he tried to make it dirty.

"Claire de Lune my pussy? Bella, are you saying you like girls?"

I rolled my eyes. "Try again, Emmett."

He shrugged and made a show of putting his hands on his temples and concentrating. "Oh, Claire de Lune by Debussy. Sorry about that, Bells, it's hard to concentrate with Rosie sitting next to me."

Rose smirked at him and squeezed his arm.

I smiled at the exchange and then looked over at Edward. "You know Debussy?" he asked excitedly.

I smiled. I remembered his surprise the first time, too. I just smiled and nodded.

"Since I struggled with the last one, Bella, why don't you just do one word now?" Emmett was ready to continue our game.

I nodded. He was smooth; the next word was piano. I wrote it and then smiled at Edward, thinking of how his hands glided across the keys.

"Piano? Bella, I know you don't play, but why do you like pianos?"

I blushed a little. "I like to listen to people play the piano, Emmett."

"People, or more specifically, Edward?"

Edward's eyes seemed to darken and he got his heart-stopping crooked grin on his face. I imagined him taking me on his piano, but my fantasy didn't get very far when Jasper bumped Emmett smirking. "That one's dirty, too."

Emmett let out a chuckle and snatched the book up.

"I think Jasper should just stay out of our little game," I gave him a pointed look and Jasper put his hands up like 'What? I didn't do anything.' Alice let out a giggle.

"Fine, we'll just ask quick questions. So, what do you think of Edward?" I just shook my head. We both knew the next word was Sexy. I wrote it down.

"Fine, but this is just one of many things I think of him."

Emmett smiled widely. "Sexy."

I thought if Edward could have, he would have blushed. I just shook my head.

"Okay, okay, we'll give your guy a break. Why don't you tell me what you think Rose is thinking," Emmett smirked at Edward's discomfort.

I smiled. I thought I could handle this. I gave him a nod and quickly started scribbling down the next row of words. Big Strong Muscle Man Emmett. Emmett recited the words as planned and smiled, he flipped the notebook open and looked at Rosalie.

"So, babe, is this what you're thinking?" She gave him a silent laugh. "I'll take that as a yes. So, is it dirty?" he grinned at her and she took the pen from his hand and wrote dirty next to the words.

"Alright, Bella, tell me what you were thinking when you were eating that chicken."

I laughed and shook my head. I remembered my own addition to this list.

"Fine, Emmett, you got me, but last one!"

I quickly wrote down Tasty Edward and before I could slide it to Emmett, Edward grabbed it again. I blushed as his hand touched mine. I knew he could hear my heart racing at his touch. His eyes met mine and he slowly opened the notebook and then looked down. I watched a wide smile spread across his face.

Emmett sniggered, "Tasty Edward is definitely dirty, Bella."

Edward looked over at Emmett. "Okay, how are you two doing it?"

Emmett grinned wide. "I just happen to be a mind reader, too."

"Oh, really, then what am I thinking?"

Emmett feigned hurt. "Edward, really? I'm your brother." Then Emmett grinned, "I also know that other thought you're having, the one about Bella." Emmett's deep dimples reappeared. I grabbed Edward's hand that was sitting on the table and I swore he jumped. He looked at me shocked.

"Edward, we have to get to class."

His shocked look turned to one of understanding and he nodded okay. I quickly grabbed my books and headed for the door. I felt someone's eyes on me and quickly turned my head to see a smiling Edward looking at my face. I just shook my head. No wonder I never caught him ogling, the boy had vampire speed. I chuckled to myself and hurried to class. He came in and sat down next to me. I shifted my chair so I would be farther away from him. We were finally alone. Well, we were in the middle of class, but no one else would be trying to talk to us. I pulled out my notebook; I noticed he was holding his breath.

"If it gets to be too much, just let me know and I'll leave or something, okay?" He gave me a worried look.

"Don't try to talk," I shoved my notebook to him, "Just write what you want to say."

He wrote.

'_You shouldn't leave. I will if it's too much. You need to stay where there are people.' _

I knew what he meant; the monster in him would hunt me down if I was alone. I nodded in understanding. He was so close to me I wanted to touch his face, hold it in my hands and kiss his lips. I was lost in my thoughts when I felt my notebook bump my hand.

'_What are you thinking?' _

I laughed to myself. I wondered how long it would take him to ask me that.

I leaned over and whispered close to his ear, "I'm worried I'm hurting you." I heard him growl and quickly scoot away. He was pouting now. "Sorry, I shouldn't have gotten so close," I said whispering as I scooted away from him. His sad eyes met mine.

Then he quickly wrote, '_Please don't be sorry, it's not your fault_.'

I gave him a tight smile as I whispered, "I know I shouldn't push you, Edward, I know my neck is a bit of a problem area for you. I shouldn't have gotten so close." Now he looked downright depressed. My hand reached over to his. "It won't be like this forever," I reassured him. His sad eyes focused on our hands. "It'll take time, but we'll get there. I know you don't want to hurt me." My words seemed to just hurt him more. Then I realized he did want to hurt me, the monster in him wanted to kill me and he was fighting that battle now. I let out a sigh. "Okay, I know you want to kill me, but the stronger part of you doesn't and that's what counts, right?" The depressed look wasn't leaving him. He started gathering his books and I grabbed his sleeve. "Please, please don't leave me," I begged. "Please, I need you, Edward, in ways you don't even understand, please don't go."

He looked at me lost and then spoke. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't, the only thing you can do to hurt me now is to leave, so just don't."

He settled down in his seat. "This is wrong, Bella."

"No, no it's not; you just need to take time to get used to me. Be patient, Edward, and I will be, too."

I grabbed his hand and gave him a supportive smile. "Do you still have my shirt?"

He reached into his bag with his free hand and I could see the corner of it. "Good."

"I've been meaning to ask you about your music choice. Depeche mode? Really, Bella?"

I just shook my head. "We can't all listen to just classical."

"I listen to more than just classical."

I smiled knowing that already. "Maybe you can expand my musical horizons."

He grinned. "I think I'd like that. Do you play any instruments?"

"No, I'm not that cool."

He chuckled a little. "For a human," he glanced around to see if anyone heard him, "You're very cool."

I smiled. "Thanks. So, you play piano, right?"

He gave me his heart-stopping grin in response and then nodded a quick yes.

"You'll have to play for me sometime."

He just smiled and then started to pay attention to class. As I sat there, I wondered if the shirt in his backpack was losing my scent. It needed to stay strong for him to desensitize. I should find a way to trade it out for a new one. Maybe after class. My hand held Edward's. I should have released it so he could take notes, but I knew he didn't need to. I didn't want to let him go. When class was over, I was lingering behind, taking my time getting my stuff together. I saw Edward make his way to the door, but I whispered his name and he stopped.

"Hold up a second. I want to do something real quick."

He poked his head out the door and took a deep breath and then stepped inside again, holding his breath. When everyone had filed out of the class room, he shifted uncomfortably. I knew this wasn't safe.

"Turn around real quick."

He looked like he wanted to say, "What?" but I just made a motion with my hand for him to turn around. Once he turned around, I quickly stripped off my shirt.

"Okay, give me the shirt in your bag."

He pulled it out, but oh, sweet innocent Edward had no idea that I had taken my shirt off. So when he turned around holding the shirt in his hand, he let out a gasp, releasing all the air he had been holding and took in a mouthful of fresh Bella. His monster growled and he pounced on me with black eyes. The monster in him wanted to savor me and though I was sure I was about to die again, I was happy it was Edward doing it.

I smiled as the monster in him pressed his face into my hair and inhaled deeply. He brought up a finger to my neck and pressed in. I knew once blood broke the surface, I would be dead in a matter of seconds. I wanted to enjoy my last few seconds with Edward and so my hands found his face like they had been craving to do and gently caressed him and then moved down his neck and ran over the taut muscles in his chest. I was exploring his body as he was getting ready to savor mine.

I noticed he had stopped moving and I looked up into his eyes. The monster was confused. I smiled up at him. The finger that was pressing into my neck now caressed it gently. His monster wanted me. I moaned under his icy touch, leaning into him. I felt him squeeze me tighter against him, and when he did, I felt him press against my thigh. My body ached with want. I'd always wanted Edward. With my eyes locked with his, I let my hand slide down his chest to the front of his pants. As my hand ran over him, a purring sound emanated from his chest.

Emmett suddenly burst into the room and Edward quickly took a defensive stance to protect his prey. He knocked me to the ground and I noticed the black shirt on the floor so I quickly threw it on. I started to head for the door when Edward growled. I looked over at him and smiled.

"I'm still yours, Edward," I whispered and headed out the door. Jasper made his way into the room and I hoped that he could calm him down.

After sixth hour, I quickly made my way to the parking lot, looking franticly for the silver Volvo. I wanted to see If Edward was okay. I spotted him sitting alone, his hands digging deep into his hair. One was leg up on his seat and he hugged it to himself. I think if he could cry he would be. His face was twisted up in pain and it made me ache for him. I needed to let him know I was okay. I knocked on his window and he looked up at me with sad eyes. I pulled his door open and he scooted away from me.

"You need to stay away from me, Bella," he said as he was practically crawling into the passenger seat to get away. I leaned a knee on the driver seat, crossed my arms on the roof of the car and hung my head in the door so I could see him.

"Settle down, Edward."

I had experience with Jake settling a wild animal. I needed Edward to know I was okay with what he was and what had happened.

"I'm fine, you didn't hurt me."

He cringed away from me. I reached out and touched his shin.

"Edward, look at me."

I slid onto the edge of the driver's seat, showing him I understood his problem. I hit the button that rolled down the windows in the car, making sure there was plenty of fresh air to carry my scent away from him. I rubbed my hand up and down his shin trying to comfort him.

"I know this is hard on you and I'm sorry I pushed you. I shouldn't have."

"I was going to kill you," he whispered.

I smiled. "I know."

His eyes snapped up to mine. "No, you didn't, you smiled."

I gave him another smile, "I know, Edward, I was okay with you killing me, as long as I was with you."

His face twisted in pain. "Bella, you can't say stuff like that, you can't mean that."

"Oh, Edward, will you just let this go? I know you want to kill me and I'm okay with that."

"Don't say that. You can't mean that."

"Edward, you won't want to kill me forever, I promise, you'll get a handle on this and being with me will be easier."

"How do you know?"

"I do, okay, I just do."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just look at how much progress you've made already. You're sitting there talking to me. You'll get the hang of things eventually."

"I'm not safe for you, Bella." I remembered this speech; it was coming too fast, too soon, he was going to leave me.

"I'm more of a danger to myself than you are, I assure you. Now please, just settle down, okay? Relax, just practice sitting here with me."

He looked at me concerned. I reached for his radio and turned it on.

"What are you listening to?" Claire De Lune filled the air and I smiled.

"I like this song."

He smiled widely. "I know."

**EPOV**

I sat in my car, completely disgusted with myself. The monster in me wanted to kill whom I was quickly coming to believe was the most beautiful creature on earth. Bella had been dominating my thoughts ever since I laid eyes on her. She had confused me so thoroughly, did she really not see the danger she was in, how close I was to killing her? I cringed at the thought of how she had stopped me. No lady should have to stoop to such levels. I deserved to die. I couldn't begin to understand what was going through her mind; she had to have known I wanted to kill her, but she smiled up at me. She acted as if she wanted me. She must not have read my actions; she must have thought I was trying to seduce her.

I groaned internally. I could never be with her. The vision Alice had of the monster taking Bella in Biology dominated my mind, her broken body underneath mine. I could never take her the way a man took a woman; did she understand that? Could she? I thought back to lunch, the way she took my fingers into her mouth, then her taking her shirt off with me alone. No, she obviously didn't think this was going to be a problem.

She wanted something I couldn't give her; she had no idea how close I was to killing her. First, when I pounced, I was about to tear a gash into her neck so I could savor the trickle of her blood, make it last. That was what the monster was decidedly doing when her hands reached my face. Her soft fiery hands trailing down my body changed the monster's motivations, but only for a moment. He still intended on killing her. Did she know this? There was a knock on my window and I jumped. It was her. Was she trying to kill herself? Why on earth would she come to me after what I did? She opened the door and I scooted away, afraid to have her so close. God, did she not understand?

Her hand was on my shin and she was moving into the driver seat; she must have been insane. Her hand moved to the door and for a moment I was worried she was going to shut it and trap me in there with her scent, but she rolled all the windows down. She gave me a little smile. She moved into the seat and left the door open. She rubbed her hand up and down my leg; I could feel the warmth of her hand even through my jeans.

She apologized for pushing me and acknowledged that it wasn't a good idea. I wanted to scream at her, 'You THINK?' Gah! I almost killed her and she was here apologizing to me for 'pushing me'? The fact was I shouldn't even have been around for her to push. I should have already been far away from her. I was not safe for her and I was going to kill her. She needed to know I was going to kill her; I needed to clear up any misunderstanding that there may have been.

Her next words shocked me. Did she really know how much danger she was in? And why was she smiling about it? Why was she happy about me killing her? Shouldn't that be upsetting? Shouldn't she be angry with me at least, if not running and screaming away from me? No, she couldn't have known I was going to kill her because she smiled, my monster was preparing to drink the life out of her and she smiled!

She was insane; after a century, I finally decide to think twice about a woman and it turns out I was dealing with a crazy person!

She tried to reassure me, telling me it would get better, but I doubted it. I wasn't sure and even if it did get better, I still couldn't touch her.

I didn't know if she would survive. My monster wasn't in check and her scent made him wild. I couldn't control him. I couldn't control me.

She never said what I thought she would, what I thought she should. I wondered what she meant by her words, surely she did not truly believe she could hurt herself more than I would hurt her? I wondered for about the hundredth time today, what was she thinking?

There seemed to be so little I did know about her, but her love of Debussy I did and it pleased me. I suddenly felt the need to know more, so much more and I bombarded her with question after question. She was so open and smiled at me; she was relaxed in my presence which was completely insane. I wanted to ask her if she was insane, but I thought that would be impolite. So I settled on asking her about her home in Phoenix, her mom, her favorite color, and how on earth Emmett and she played that trick. That answer was the most frustrating, but I loved it.

"Only the Great Emmett can read my mind. Sorry, honey."

She was fitting so perfectly so fast into my family, like she was a long lost missing piece, but sometimes the things she said worried me. She shouldn't be okay with me killing her. I didn't want her to be okay with the monster I was, because I was not okay with it. Her complete lack of concern for her own safety worried me. It downright scared me actually, and if I killed her, I knew it would hurt me. I didn't want to hurt her or myself.

I tried to distract myself and I asked her more and more questions. It seemed every answer was a surprise. It was like Christmas morning, finding a new gift in her words. It amazed me how quickly I became frustrated when she sat silent, contemplating her answers. I wanted to know what she was thinking and the silence was maddening. Was she unsure of her answers? Was she deciding between two or three other options? What were they? What was I missing?

I was lost in the sound of Bella's voice, tangled in her abstract answers. I found myself leaning toward hers as we spoke. The burn was there, but it didn't bother me; I was too busy, too content to hear her speaking to even think of silencing her. I had to hear her voice. She was fast becoming an addiction. I realized this when she looked out the windshield into the darkness and said, "It's late, Edward. I need to get home to Charlie."

I wanted to tell her no and make her stay; she knew that I could make her stay.

"I can't stay with you, Edward," she said and I wondered if she could read minds, "But I'll see you tomorrow." She slipped out of my car and I moved into the driver's seat. She pushed the car door closed and leaned into the window and smiled, "See, it's getting better all the time."

She kissed my cheek and turned to walk away. I watched the sway of her hips as she crossed the parking lot. I would watch her closely and make sure she made it safely to her car.

"And Edward?" she spoke in a low tone across the distance. She knew I could hear her and I liked that she knew that, "My window is always open for you."

At that, she hopped in her truck and drove away. I was at a loss for words. What did she mean by that? The scent of her was dissipating so I dug out her shirt. This one was grey and purple, it was long-sleeved, and the smell of her was thick on it. I inhaled deeply. The monster in me thought for a moment on how I got the shirt. It thought of her standing there in front of me, her tiny pink and black lace bra cradling her full bosoms. The feel of her skin against mine, the way she leaned into my touch, and the sweet sound of pleasure she made when I touched her infiltrated my mind. I snarled and snapped myself out of those thoughts.

I quickly dropped the car off and went to go hunt. I tied Bella's shirt around my neck and ran at full speed into the night. I gorged myself again and sat feeling plump, although I knew I looked no different. I pulled one of Bella's sleeves up to smell her. I missed her. I wondered what she was thinking, what she was dreaming. Would she dream of me? I inhaled her shirt deeply. The burn was there, but the desire to harm her was gone. I smiled. She was right. I was curious what she meant by saying her window was always open for me. Surely she didn't mean she would actually leave her window open, she would freeze.

I found myself standing outside her house, not really sure when I'd made the choice to come here. That was when I heard her voice.

"No, please…please don't…"

I sprang up to the eave over her window and looked in to see who was upsetting her, but she was alone as she thrashed on the bed. She was dreaming and it didn't look like it was a good one.

"No, Edward…don't!" she shouted and my heart broke. She was dreaming of me, as a monster, and she was begging for her life.

"Please, Edward, please don't go...don't leave me… "

I looked at her face confused. Did she wake up? It didn't look like it.

"Please don't leave me…please; I love you, Edward..."

Her nightmare was not of me killing her, but of me leaving her. She was crying softly now and it broke my heart to see her in pain like this, her words quietly begging me to stay. I looked closer at the window to see if I could open it and saw that it was opened a crack already. So that was what she meant. I opened the window and was bombard with her scent. My throat exploded in pain, but all I could think about was waking this angel and letting her know I was here, that I did not leave her. I carefully sat next to her and gently put my hand on her cheek to wipe the tears away. Her hands came up and held my hand in place and she curled her body around my arm as if hanging on for dear life.

Her body was still shaking with sobs so I pulled her up into my lap and held her, kissing her hair and whispering softly, "I'm here, Love. I'm here."

She finally woke, wrapped her arms tightly around me and cried openly into my shoulder. I held her close and gently rubbed her back. I didn't know everything about Bella and as I held her in my arms, I realized I was far from knowing everything.

"It was just a dream, Love."

The terms of endearment seemed to fall from my mouth with ease without even thinking. Her watery eyes met mine and she sniffed back a tear. It was as if she was trying to tell me something with her eyes but couldn't. I sat waiting for her to speak and tell me what she was thinking, but when she did speak; she didn't say what I thought she would.

"Stay with me."

"I will, Love, I'm right here."

She climbed off my lap into her bed and under the covers. I missed the warmth of her body and was surprised when she patted the bed next to her.

"Stay with me."

I looked at her unsure. Would she be able to keep her hands to herself? Would I be able to keep my animal in check?

"Please, Edward," she begged, and I could see the tears forming again, so I lay on top of the blankets next to her. She smiled and I was glad she didn't insist I get under the covers with her. She snuggled tightly into my side and I was once again content with the warmth of her body next to mine. I kissed the top of her head and she dozed off back to sleep. In her sleep, she curled her body tightly to me. Even in her sleep, she held onto me and it amazed me that this creature held absolutely no fear of being near me. It seems that my presence actually relaxed her. I thought of leaving, but I was afraid in my absence that her dream would return so I stayed and held her.

The burn was a dull roar in the back of my mind, easy to forget, and so as I lay silently watching her sleep. My curiosity got the better of me. There was a large stack of books on the night stand next to the bed and one that seemed to be open, as if she had been reading it. Wuthering Heights. Really? I would have thought she would have had better taste. I chuckled to myself and put it back down.

I glanced around her room. It seemed to be a tribute to her life. There were things up on the wall I was sure she did not put there, but rather her father, Charlie, and I was surprised that she had not taken the time to take them down. There were pictures she had drawn as a child and crafts she had made. The turkey she made out of her handprint was most interesting, to see how small her hand had been. I took her hand in mine and examined the difference. She had changed so much. She was ever-changing. Even now as we lay here in silence, her sleep consuming her, she was changing. I gently kissed her fingers and caught sight of my hand. It did not change; it looked the same as it had for almost a century.

I wondered how I fit into this changing creature's life. Would I be able to watch her change through her life? Would she still want me if she knew I was forever the same? Did she already know I was forever the same? She seemed to know so much already. I was curious how she had come to the knowledge. How did she know what we were and that she would fit with us so perfectly? Alice kept her mind silent on the subject, but she knew. Damn Cantonese lullaby. I sighed at my frustration.

It seemed morning came too fast. I heard Charlie leave. I was completely alone with this delicious creature and yet I could handle not biting her. I looked at the clock on her nightstand and wondered if she had set her alarm. I watched the numbers change and then looked down at the woman wrapped so trustingly around my frame. I was still in awe that she was laying here this close to me with no fear.

I contemplated if it was trust or insanity that allowed her to rest so peacefully. I feared it was insanity. Her ominous warning, 'I'm more dangerous to myself' was plaguing me. How could she possibly believe that after what I had done, after almost killing her? Her reaction was not what I expected. She smiled as she leaned into me, as she touched me. She insisted that she knew I was going to kill her and I thought about that for a moment. If she hadn't, she would have blushed when I told her that, but she didn't, she held her ground and acted as if I was ridiculous for being upset about almost killing her.

It was almost as if she wanted to die and it made my chest hurt. I didn't want her to die and I didn't want to be the one to kill her. Was that why she threw herself into my life, so I would kill her? I tried to reason with myself, if she was trying to kill herself, she wouldn't have helped me past my problem with her scent. She could have just walked up to me alone and died. I winced at the thought. I would have killed her that first day, no question, if I had found her anywhere alone. I was barely able to control my monster that first day surrounded by people, unfortunate casualties my monster had already decided, but she knew how to handle it. She knew to dismiss me, to get me away from her and she knew to mention my father. She knew so much and I still felt so in the dark.

My sweet creature was obviously in pain. Something had hurt her to make her cry so hard, to fear so much from this dream. I wondered what had transpired in her life before she came here. What would lead her to me, a monster? She stirred in my arms and then smiled at me as her eyes fluttered open.

"You stayed."

I kissed her forehead and wondered what mysteries were hidden in that mind. "Yes, Love, I told you I would."

She let out a contented sigh and all I could think of was, perfect. The moment was perfect. She glanced at the clock and then pulled away out of my arms, stretching and yawning, and then she slowly climbed out of bed. I watched her as she dug through her drawers, gathering clothes in her arms. She was going to get dressed for school and it was time I left. I didn't want another repeat of yesterday. I was pretty sure I could resist Bella, but I didn't want to push it.

I made my way over to the window when I felt her hand grab mine. I never thought I could get so much pleasure from so much heat. I looked down at her and smiled. She moved slowly, cautiously, and it made me wonder if she understood I was a monster. Her other hand was on my chest and slowly moving up to my neck.

"Is this okay, Edward?"

I smiled and gave a quick nod.

"You must tell me if it gets to be too much, okay?"

She moved closer, her hand around the back of my neck, her body against mine. The hand that was holding mine pulled it behind her and placed my hand on her back and then found its way up to my neck. I felt her pulling me down carefully, slowly. She was being careful, gentle. Her eyes locked with mine, I knew what she wanted and I wondered if I could do it. I swallowed the fresh rush of venom seething in my mouth. Her scent was intoxicating, thick and perfect. The fire roared in my throat, but all I could think of was her perfect lips. I knew they would taste perfect. I licked my lips in anticipation and her eyes seemed to darken and her lips curled up excited. She moved painfully slow toward me, but this was not something I wanted to do at vampire speed; no, slow was good, I wanted to savor it, savor her.

Her fiery lips pressed against mine and her scent assaulted me with renewed intensity. Her hand tickled my neck and twined in my hair as she pressed against me and I suppressed a growl. I wanted her. My gripped tightened around her and I wondered if I was hurting her, but she did not wince, stop, pull away, or even flinch; her response was to hold me tighter.

I could not stop the sound this time and I began to purr. I thought for sure the sound would startle her, scare her, remind her of what happened yesterday and cause her to pull away, but she didn't stop, she just pressed herself tighter against me and then moaned against my lips. Oh, God, I wanted this woman. I had never wanted a woman, but her, I wanted; I did not think I could resist her. She felt my hesitation and her hands slipped out of my hair and down to the front of my chest as she pulled away and smiled up at me. Her eyes seemed to be saying something, smirking at me as if she knew something I didn't and it was driving me insane.

"What are you thinking?"

When the words left my lips, she giggled.

"I'll never tire of hearing that, Edward."

She pulled away and walked to the dresser where she had left her clothes. She picked up the pile. "Charlie's gone?" she asked, and I nodded. "You have to go change for school." She paused, "Will you stay with me again tonight?" I wondered if I could. I wasn't sure of my control yet. I glanced at the discarded shirt on the floor. I had dropped it as soon as I entered the room. She saw my uncertainty.

"Just hunt before you come, Edward, hunt and keep this with you."

She began to slip her shirt off. I knew better than to look this time. I was looking out the window when I felt her hand on my back and I began to purr again against my will. She giggled a little and flipped her shirt over my shoulder and then her arms wound around me and I could feel her breasts pressing into my back.

"Go change, Edward," she whispered and then kissed my back and released me, "I'll see you at school."

I brought her shirt up to my lips and kissed it and answered her, "Yes, Love," because that was the only way I could answer her. I would always give her what she wanted.

I would spend every night holding my Bella, trying to chase away her bad dreams and fix what was broken in her, but I was afraid that she might be broken beyond repair.


	4. Chapter 4 Losing it

**All characters are Stephenie Meyers. Bella goes crazy this chapter so try and follow along. Her point of view may get a little confusing; just keep in mind she is not in her right mind for all of it.**

**Chapter 4 - Losing it**

**BPOV**

I drove to school thinking about Edward. His control over the past week had been amazing and the way he purred in my arms just made me love him more. I wondered if I had changed things enough, if I had shown him I was strong enough. I noticed that I wasn't as clumsy this time around. He had not saved me a million times. I was determine not to need saving.

I pulled into a parking spot at school. When I opened my door my keys fell into a puddle. I stepped out of the truck avoiding the puddle and shut the door. I half expected Edward to appear to get the keys out of the puddle for me like he had the first time but he was nowhere to be found. I reached down into the icy puddle and retrieved my keys, almost feeling disappointed. I wondered what else I had changed. I pulled my bag tight against my shoulder and pushed my way through the crowd to class. Before I could enter the room I felt an icy hand on my arm and smiled. I turned around and then was disappointed when I saw it was Alice.

"Happy to see you, too."

"Sorry, Alice, I really am happy to see you."

She smirked knowing I wished she had been Edward.

"Car troubles?"

"What? No. Why, did you see something?"

"No," she pointed to my hand.

"Oh, yeah, I dropped my keys in a puddle in the parking lot."

I should have known she would smell the change on my hand. I sniffed it myself; even I could smell the faint scent of old motor oil on it. I started moving to the bathroom so I could wash my hands.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

I looked around and motioned her to follow me. I checked all the stalls to make sure we were alone.

"It's just, the first time I dropped my keys Edward picked them up for me."

"Do you drop your keys often?" she asked confused.

I sighed with annoyance. "No, Alice, in my last life when I was with Edward before, when I dropped my keys in the puddle he picked them up for me, but I've changed things and so he wasn't there. I wonder what else I've changed."

"Oh," was her only answer and then her face went blank. I knew she was checking the future. I decided to wash my hands while I waited. Her eyes quickly found me but she looked a little sad.

"What is it, Alice?"

"What are you changing this time, Bella? What are you deciding to make different?"

"Why?"

"Just answer me."

I let out a sigh, "I guess I decided this morning to not let him save me."

"Save you from what?"

"Well, there's the men that were going to attack me in Port Angeles and the van I told you about and, Oh, yeah," I cringed and touched my wrist where the bite scar should be, "James."

"James?" she asked confused, her eyes watching my hand stroke my unscathed skin as I remembered. "He's a tracker, he came during your game of baseball when I was with you and my scent set him off. He bit me but Edward sucked the venom out, stopped the change."

Her eyes were wide with shock. I suddenly felt annoyed. That event led to Victoria hunting me, and everything that had happened with Jacob. I just shook my head frustrated.

"I'm tired of being saved; first Edward then Jacob."

"Jacob?"

I ran my hands through my hair.

"Yeah, Jacob Black, my wolf, he was the one that stopped Laurent and Victoria. Victoria was James' mate. Edward didn't think that through before he left me. I wonder what he would have thought if he had come back to find me hooked up with a wolf when he left me to live a 'normal' life. And he thought he was dangerous." My hand traced my hips where the scars Jacob had left would be. "That stupid ass."

My old anger was seething to the surface and I saw Alice flinch away from me. I chuckled to myself at the idea of a vampire flinching away from me.

"Sorry, Alice, I guess I still have some issues. I just don't want it to end the same way."

"Did Jacob hurt you?"

She pointed to my hand tracing my hip and I smiled and shook my head.

"He didn't mean to, he could get a little rough, though, when we were together. It was just a few flesh wounds; it was worth it, though; he was the only one that could get through to me after Edward left."

She gasped realizing what I was saying.

"It's alright, Alice, it isn't going to end the same way this time, and I'm changing it this time around."

"Well, you have to stop what you're doing, you changed something this morning and I don't like it."

"What? What do you mean, what did I change?"

"Edward, his attachment to you doesn't deepen the way it should."

My heart fell out of my chest. The only thing I had decided this morning was to not let him save me. Edward had to save me to love me? Then I suddenly felt furious,

"That pompous self righteous asshole! I have to be weak for him to love me? He has to play the knight in shining armor?"

"Well, he is old fashioned..."

Tears were flooding my eyes uncontrollably. I felt her pull me into her arms.

"You've been through so much. I'm sorry; I don't want to see you go through it, either. Maybe we can skip some of it. I'd rather you not get bitten by James this time around. I'm not sure Edward has enough control to stop this time."

I thought about the events that all transpired from that one trigger at the baseball game. It was then that I remembered what James had said about Alice. What we had found out because of the attack.

"Alice," I said urgent and excited. "You're Mary Alice Brandon, you were in a mental institution, that's why you can't remember your human life. James killed your sire. He wanted to kill you but your sire saved you from him by changing you."

Her mouth dropped open in shock. "How? Huh?" was all she could get out.

"James was taunting me as he was torturing me, he was surprised to see you again. Even if you didn't remember him, he remembered you. He thought it was amusing that Edward had not changed me to save me the way your sire had changed you."

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry."

I realized then I would have to go through that again, I would have to let it all happen again so Alice would have a chance to talk with James to find out more about her past and get answers on who her sire was. It wasn't as if they kept records of that stuff.

"You can't tell Edward about this. He won't let it happen if he knows."

Her wide eyes met mine.

"Bella," she was shaking her head, "I can't let you do this."

"How else are you going to find out about your life, Alice? James has the answers and he only sticks around because of me. He has to meet me."

Her brow furrowed. "I don't like it."

I laughed, "You think you don't like it. I ended up in the hospital for a week, don't worry, you end up repaying me by taking care of me for the next few months as my body recovers."

She flinched. "No, no absolutely not! I won't let that happen, we'll find another way, there has to be another way."

The last bell rang letting us know we would be late for class if we didn't leave now. "We'll figure it out, Alice, but we have to go. Make sure Edward doesn't get any of this though, okay?"

Her face twisted into a pout.

"You know he would freak out. We'll finish talking about this later," I said with finality and slipped out the door and hurried to class. I considered that I was less clumsy and began to run thinking I would be okay. I thought wrong. I, of course being me, tripped over my own feet and was flying fast toward the ground when I felt a pair of warm arms catch me.

"Whoa, Isabella, are you alright?" It was Mike Newton.

He pulled me upright.

"Um, thanks, just Bella."

He smiled "Alright, Bella, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Mike, I'm fine."

"Oh, so you've heard of me?"

It was then that I realized my mistake. He had not introduced himself.

"Um, Yeah,"

Really what was I supposed to say? I knew you from a previous life?

"All good I hope." His eyes looked sincere. I knew he liked me. I had to stop his train of thought.

"So, where is Jessica?"

He looked at me confuse and then I remembered it was me that pushed him to go out with Jessica in the first place.

"Um, I'm not sure, why?"

I was really doing horribly at this.

"I, ah, you know we were talking and I..."

God, someone save me. He seemed to find my loss for words amusing; he probably thought I couldn't talk straight because I liked him. He was so wrong.

He chuckled a little and then asked, "So, Bella, you want to go out tonight, it being Friday and all?"

I was shocked, "I, um…I, um..."

Damn it, Bella, find your words!

"Jessica does," I finally blurted out and he looked at me confused.

"What?"

"Jessica was, um, telling me that she would like to go out with you this weekend."

"Um, okay, but I was asking if you wanted to go out."

"I can't, I have plans, but thanks."

I was trying to squirm free from his grip but it wasn't working. His smile grew wide. "You're a curious girl."

I rolled my eyes, as if I hadn't heard that before. "That's what they tell me."

"So, since you're busy tonight, what about Saturday?"

How do I let him down gently? "I'm kind of seeing someone."

"Really, because I happen to know that Rosalie Hale is not giving up Emmett, so you should just give that up now and go out with me."

I laughed a little. "I wasn't talking about Emmett, Mike, but thanks for the insight."

I tried to squirm away again but he just pulled me closer.

"Uh, Mike, I don't think you want to piss off my boyfriend."

"I don't think you really have one yet. You just got here a little over a week ago so why don't you give in to me now. I can be your boyfriend."

"That's very sweet of you, Mike, but I really am involved with someone else right now and I know Jessica is very interested in you as well."

"Alright then who are you involved with?"

He didn't loosen his grip but continued to pull me tighter to him. God, I wished Edward would see me and come save me from Mike. This saving I didn't mind. Where the hell was he anyway?

"Edward."

Mike let out a laugh, "Yeah, right, Edward doesn't get involved with anyone."

His words hurt, they felt true. Edward had left me. Mike must have read the sad look on my face as confirmation. His hand left my side and traced my cheek down to my lips, "Bella, just go out with me."

I felt a tear escape and run down my cheek, damn tears.

"Back off, Mike." I heard his voice from behind me and felt his cool icy arms pull me from Mike's grasp.

A look of shock exploded across Mikes face.

"I believe she told you she wasn't interested and that she was involved with me."

I turned in his arms and clung to his chest. My Edward.

"What, um, yeah, sorry, I mean, I didn't know…" Mike was stuttering.

"Well, now you do, so why don't you spread the word. Bella is mine," He said the last part forcefully and it made my heart soar, I was his.

"Yeah, man. Sure, whatever you say."

I looked up at Edward's face; he was giving Mike a creepy vampire scowl and I loved it. I heard Mike's footsteps disappear down the hall and I giggled. Edward's eyes found mine, wondering what I was thinking no doubt. I smiled up at him and answered before he could ask,

"See, scary vampire face does come in handy sometimes."

He broke out in his beautiful crooked grin that completely melted my heart and let out a chuckle.

"Mike was right about one thing."

"Oh, what was that?" I find it hard to believe Mike could be right about anything.

"You are a curious girl."

I couldn't help the blush that took over and he whispered in my ear, "You have no idea how enticing that is."

He stepped away from me and then took my hand. "So, boyfriend, huh?"

My eyes snapped to his face to see a giant grin. I could only imagine the panic he saw in my face and I wondered how he would read it.

"I should probably meet your dad then."

Shit, I knew it, that was what scared me; it was all happening just like before, just faster. Sooner than before. He meets my father, takes me out with his family and James tries to kill me. He noticed my cringe. I had to give in and let it all happen for Alice.

"Are you alright, Love?"

"Yes, just a little nervous about you meeting my dad, that's all."

I tried to give him an encouraging smile but I think I failed miserably and it came out more like a grimace because he just chuckled.

"It's time for class, I believe you're late."

He walked me to my door and poked his head in to my first period class, Spanish, and spoke the language with a perfect accent.

"Mrs. Geoff, I'm afraid I've delayed Ms. Swan, would you please excuse her tardiness?" The words were smooth like butter and melted all over Mrs. Geoff.

"Of course," she replied to Edward and he released me into the classroom with a smile. Edward was dazzling when he spoke English but Spanish, was just intoxicating. Poor woman didn't have a chance.

**EPOV**

I felt like I could fly. She had told Mike Newton no, that she was mine. I was her boyfriend. I still wondered about the tears in her eyes as he tried to convince her otherwise. He was lucky she was there or I would have ripped him limb from limb. I grinned with satisfaction as I pictured it; I had to get to class. I was thinking of taking Bella to see my meadow, being around her had gotten so much easier and I was hoping to have a chance to play out the vision in Alice's head. I thought I would check Alice's mind to see if she had any more visions. I wanted to use all of my resources to keep Bella safe.

Alice was a jumble of random Cantonese being spouted between, _No, she can't! Oh, heavens, Mary Alice Brandon, she knew. _I saw flashes of a vision she was trying to hide from me, as she seemed to be pleading with Bella in her mind. _No, Bella, don't, you can't go to him. _I saw the flash of another face. A man, pale, with blonde hair and red eyes, he was one of us. _Please, Bella, don't leave us,_ she pleaded in her mind. Bella was going to leave me for him, leave me for another vampire. I couldn't handle it. What, did she have some kind of death wish and went around seducing vampires? I had gone from being on a complete high in her presence to feeling as if she had ripped open my chest. So I did the only thing I knew how to do. I ran.

I sat silently on top of a white snowy summit, which one I didn't know. I wasn't paying attention as I ran. I wanted to stay there hidden away from everyone; I didn't ever want to feel pain like this again. My phone chirped in the silence and I would have ignored it but I saw the sound was making the ice cliff crack and an avalanche would soon ensue if I didn't do something. I answered and zipped away from the cliff before I spoke.

"What do you want, Alice?"

"Where the hell are you, Edward?"

"If I wanted you to know I would have answered the phone the first ten times you called."

"Quit being an ass and get back here."

"There's nothing for me there."

"Edward, you can't do this, we can't, DAMN IT, EDWARD! Just…gah!"

She pulled the phone away from her face and I heard her speak with someone. Bella.

"I have to tell him, he won't listen. I can't stop it, I see it happening now no matter what you choose, he has to be here. Damn it, Bella, let me tell him!"

"Alice, if he doesn't want me, it doesn't matter."

I could hear the tears in her voice. I was hurting her, hurting her like she was going to hurt me.

"The fool does want you, he's just…" She brought the phone back up to her mouth, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I just need space." It was all I could bring myself to say to her.

"Damn it, Edward, you're killing her." I could hear Bella's quiet sobs in the background and then I heard my angel's voice.

"It's okay, Alice, at least I got to see him before I died, that's all I ever wanted."

"Don't be ridiculous," Alice shouted at her. "He's not going to let him kill you."

"What?" I was snapped out of myself. I heard Bella respond again.

"I can't make Edward love me, Alice; I can't make him want me. I don't want to live in a world where Edward doesn't want me again. It's okay, really, it's not like it's the first time."

I heard Alice waling. She was crying her tearless sobs.

"I don't want to lose you, Bella. We're going to figure this out," Alice cried.

I was already running full speed back to town.

"Where are you? Where are you, Alice!" I shouted into the phone, "Who's going to kill Bella?"

The line went dead. God, I must have interpreted Alice's thoughts wrong. I had to find her. I cursed my stupid sullen mood for making me run so far from her. It took far too long to get back into town. As I hurried into town I crossed the scent of another coven and wondered if this was the coven that would kill my love. I pulled out my phone and called Alice. Her voice was weak and upset.

"What?" was all she spat out at me.

"Alice, where are you? Where's Bella?"

"She's locked in my room."

"What? Why?"

"Damn it, Edward, you're such an ass!"

"What's going on?"

"You left her, you left her just like before and she lost it, she's just lost it. You knew she was broken and you did it anyway."

"What do you mean just like before?"

"Gah! I can't tell you everything but she killed herself last time, Edward, she didn't survive it so don't do it again. I don't want my friend to die!" she screamed and hung up.

I sped home and ran straight to Alice's room. I ran through the locked door as if it was open and was shocked at what I found. Bella was curled into a ball on the floor sobbing. I could smell fresh scabs formed over her flesh and antiseptic as well. Did she get stitches? I squatted down next to her but she did not acknowledge my presence. I pulled her arm away from her body and found the source of the smell. A large gash from the elbow to her wrist had been stitched close.

"Bella, Bella what happened?" I asked in a low soothing tone to let her know I was here for her. The cut was so straight, so perfect I couldn't imagine what could have caused it. I took her up in my arms and held her tightly against me, ignoring the explosion in my throat as I brought her closer to me. I sat down on the bed with her, kissing her softly to let her know I was there. She started to hum a tune I didn't recognize, but it still seemed oddly familiar and as I listened I could see the notes of the music play out and I could anticipate where the melody would go. When it was done she started it again but this time. I hummed with her, letting her know I was there and she seemed to relax a little as I did. Her eyes closed and she finally drifted off to sleep. Alice poked her head in.

"I called Charlie and asked if Bella could spend the night. He said it was okay. You have to fix this before she goes home, Edward. You can't send her home like this, she won't make it."

I quickly checked Alice's mind looking for the meaning of her words. Alice flinched at the vision. The one of the blonde vampire with red eyes, tearing apart my Bella and she didn't even bother to scream. We all show up but it was too late. The sadness engulfed me; I couldn't save her.

"You have to fix this so she'll fight him, so we have time to get there and save her, Edward. You have to fix this now or she just gives in to him."

I spoke softly to Bella, low and sweet, whispering to her that I loved her and needed her to come back to me. She didn't move, not for a long time and then suddenly she jumped off the bed and yelled, "You're not here!"

She headed for the door and I stopped her.

"You're not here, you're not here," was all she said.

I tried to pull her back to bed but she fought me so I lifted her and carried her back to bed.

"You're not real, you're not real!" she started shouting with more force and then her next words killed me.

"Jacob! Jacob! God, Jake, I need you, he's not real, he's not real, tell me he's not real."

I looked up from Bella to see a surprised and excited Alice.

"Of COURSE!" she said, "Jacob was the only one that could get through to her after you left."

"I left? What are you talking about, Alice? What aren't you telling me?"

She gave me a stubborn pout.

"You have to wait for Bella to tell you."

"Well, she isn't exactly talking to me right now."

"She will, Edward. At least I think…" I saw her face go blank and I tried to intrude on the vision she was having but all I saw was black.

"What does that mean, Alice, why is it black?"

"I don't know, but as soon as I decided to call Jacob Black, everything went black."

"Jacob Black?"

"Yes, he lives down on the reservation so we'll probably have to meet him." I was about to protest when I felt Bella's hand on my face. She was caressing it gently as she whispered to herself, "He's not real…he's not real…"

There was such a longing in her eyes, a sadness as she repeated the words over and over. I wanted to show her I was real, I was here but I didn't know how to do that.

**BPOV**

Edward was gone, Alice had called him and he wouldn't say where he was, just that he needed space. My insides twisted with pain as I felt the panic rise. He probably got freaked out by the idea of being my boyfriend. Alice said his feelings weren't as deep as they should be. He didn't want me, not really, and now he had left again. My head pounded with the insanity of it all. He was gone; he was really gone. James was here, and before the Cullen's left to be with Edward I would do them one last favor. I would call James here so Alice could question him.

I silently walked to the kitchen and pulled out a long sharp kitchen knife. I could kill two birds with one stone this way. This way I could die on my terms and it wouldn't hurt as much as if James did it. I would call to him with my blood. I walked out the back door and off the back porch, I vaguely heard Alice ask me what I was doing, but I couldn't speak, I couldn't say now. I felt the knife rip through my flesh and down my arm, I welcomed the pain as it helped dull the loss of Edward. I was switching hands to do the other arm when the knife was snatched from me. I felt cold arms encase me but I knew it was not Edward. I heard her voice screaming for Carlisle and everything went black.

I woke up. I was alone in Alice's room. It was just as I last remembered seeing it, except there were more things; it looked like she actually lived here. I knew from my last visit to their home that they were gone; they didn't live here anymore. They had left me alone. Pain washed through my body as I remembered that last thought, they were gone. I curled into a ball on the floor and began to cry for my love, and for my friend, they were all gone and they had left me, and in my insanity I had found myself in their abandoned home hallucinating _**again**_. They were not here.

My mind was working overtime because I could smell the sweet scent of Edward envelope me, and I could feel his cold arms on my body. Oh, how I'd missed his touch, how I loved him. If he would only return to me and hold me again. I needed to find my way back to reality, find my sanity but I couldn't. I sat in this mind generated Edward's lap and hummed my lullaby. He watched me intently as I did, curious, and when I started it over again he hummed with me this time. Yes, my mind was getting better at hallucinating. I needed it to stop. It all had to stop, but I was so tired. Well, if I had to sleep, I might as well enjoy doing it in my hallucination's arms.

When I awoke, his hallucination was still there and I knew I had really lost it this time. Usually, they faded away, they only lasted a little while, but this one was still here. I had to get rid of it, so I started yelling and screaming at it, but he just pulled me back into the bed. I wanted to sleep, my body wanted to rest, and so my mind was making my hallucination insist I stay in bed. I needed help; it was so bad this time. I had to find my way out of this world. There was only one person I trusted enough to help with that; Jacob. If I screamed loud enough he might be able to hear me, or maybe one of the pack would hear me calling and take me to him. So I called for him, screamed for him, begged for him to come save me from myself, but he didn't come and so I went back to chanting 'he's not real' so I would remember he wasn't real, that I was just insane. I needed to not get lost in my mind.

I was afraid this time that I wouldn't find my way out again.


	5. Chapter 5 Saved by Jake

**All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter 5 – Saved by Jacob**

**EPOV**

Alice had looked up and found the number for William Black. Luckily, there was only one Black on the Reservation and I hoped that for my Bella's sake he would know what to do to help her. I could hear the phone ringing, and on the fifth ring a winded voice answered. He sounded young.

"Hello?"

Alice jumped right in, "Jacob? Are you Jacob Black?"

"Um, yeah, who is this?"

"Oh, thank heavens. Jacob, I need you to come over right now or we can meet you at the treaty line."

"Treaty what? Who is this?"

"Alice, this is Alice, Bella's friend, she needs you."

I noticed that she did not mention she was a Cullen which was probably for the best.

"Bella? Bella who?"

"Swan!" Alice snapped at him annoyed

I was worried that this was not going to work. Obviously, this boy did not know Bella as well as she knew him, but that was no surprise. Just look at how much she knew about us.

"Oh, yeah, Charlie's daughter, is she okay?" Thankfully he sounded truly concerned.

"No, no, she's not, she needs you."

"Me? Why me?"

"I don't know but she keeps asking for you?"

"Really?"

I didn't like the tone of his voice; it sounded hopeful. He liked her.

"Okay, um, what do you want me to do?"

"Can you come here? I mean, would your dad let you?"

"I don't see why not? What's your address?"

Obviously, he didn't know we were vampires. The fact that he was meeting with the Cullen's was being hidden and I hoped that it would stay that way. I knew his father would recognize our address if he saw it and hoped that Jacob would not share it with him.

It was a grueling forty five minutes of waiting through Bella's mumbling and random screaming for Jacob when he finally arrived. Alice brought him up to her room. He looked nervous and then when he saw me sitting on the bed holding Bella he froze. He looked so young. Was he even old enough to drive? How did he get here? Was Billy Black with him?

"Did you come alone?" He just nodded.

"What happen to her?" he asked slowly approaching. He could hear her muttering now.

"I…" I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what had happened to her. "I don't know."

He carefully reached forward and brushed a strand of her hair from her face, "Bella?"

Her face snapped to look at him immediately. "Jake? Jake!"

She quickly locked her arms around his neck, startling him with her motion, but then he relaxed and hugged her back. He looked at me with questioning eyes, silently asking me what to do but I had no answer for him.

"Take me home, Jake, just take me home. Just let me curl up in your bed. I know I'll be better in the morning."

His eyes popped wide and I had to suppress a growl.

"Um, Bells, I don't know if Charlie would be okay with that."

She was crying again, burying her face in his shoulder.

"It's okay; she was going to spend the night here. We'll cover for you."

Jacob's eyes found Alice's face. He was shocked at what she said. Jacob began to shake, but when I check his mind it was from nerves.

'_Is this some kind of joke? They can't really think Bella would want to sleep in my bed. I don't think Bella would play a joke on me like this. Does she know I like her? And what's with these people? They give me the creeps, they make me want to crawl right out of my skin. I should at least get her out of here'. _

"Alright, I guess I can take her home. You got my number, if Charlie's looking for her, just give me a call."

I nodded in agreement and Jacob tried to unwind Bella from himself and stood up next to her. She looked at him carefully for the first time.

"You look so young."

He just gulped. "I'm not so much younger than you, Bella."

His cheeks were burning red with embarrassment. What she did next shocked everyone. She stood up and kissed him on the lips, not deep and long, but long enough for one to realize at some point that they'd been more than just friends.

"Take me home, Jake."

He stood in shock; his eyes were wide for a moment but a little tap from Alice brought him back enough for him to lead her out to the car he was driving. He carefully put her in and buckled her seat belt. I was pleased that at least he saw that she wasn't well enough to take care of herself and hoped that he was gentleman enough to treat her like a lady. I took off into the forest and ran along the road following them as far as I could. I was afraid to let my Bella go. I was a little reassured by the words he spoke as he drove.

"Are you sure, Bella? I can just take you home."

"No, Jake, please, I need to stay with you tonight, just for tonight. I know Nessie will understand."

"Nessie?"

I ran closer along the side of them but still out of sight so I could see Bella's face.

"I know she'll understand."

"Um, okay, but I thought her name was Alice."

Bella's face twisted in pain. "Don't," her chest was heaving as she tried to form her words, "Don't say their names."

Jacob looked genuinely concerned. "I'm sorry, Bells, I didn't know. What happened, what did they do to you?"

She began to cry out loud, unabashed, and the pain was evident on Jacob's face. He did not like to see her upset.

"I'm sorry, Bells, if you don't want to talk about it we won't, okay, we're almost home."

His words seemed to settle her down and then I realized what he said and I took in my surroundings. I had crossed the treaty line. I looked around and smelled the air to see if there were any wolves in the area. I smelled a faint trace of one and figured I'd better get out of there before they found me.

**BPOV**

I had finally rid myself of the hallucinations of the Cullen's but Jacob, for some reason, looked so much younger. He looked like the boy he was before he changed. I studied his face through wet eyes and willed him to look older. I was worried that now my mind had made him a hallucination as well. We pulled up to his familiar home and I quickly got out of the car and made my way to the door. He hurried in after me and I stopped stunned in the doorway. There was Billy Black, Jacobs father, who had been dead for five years. I was gasping for air trying to find my words.

"Bella? Are you okay?" his voice asked. I just shook my head no. There was no ending this, my insanity was running rampant but this was Jacobs's house and I hoped that by being here, he would find me. I knew Jacob would be able to help me through this.

"I need to lie down," I said to no one in particular and headed back for Jacob's room. I felt his eyes on my back as I opened the door, leaving it open so he would know to follow and I curled up in his bed, snuggling under the covers waiting for him to join me. I forced my eyes closed and tried to will myself sane but I continued to hear Billy Black's voice in the other room.

"I should call Charlie and let him know she's here."

"No, she was supposed to stay at a friend's house but asked for me to come get her."

"Why?"

"Um, I don't know, she wasn't feeling well."

"If she's sick we need to call Charlie and get her to a doctor."

"I don't think she needs a doctor, Dad. Something's not right with her, I don't know what it is but her friend said I could help her."

"Help her how?"

"I don't know. When she saw me she told me to bring her here and said she wanted to sleep in my bed."

There was a pause. "It's odd that she went straight to your room and curled up without hesitation. Is there something you want to tell me?"

"What? No! She just got here what, a week ago?"

A week ago. My mind was reeling; I was hallucinating Jacob as well. I prayed that I was in his home for real, it felt so real but so did the Cullen's. I needed Jacob now to bring me out of this.

"Jake!" I called screaming at the top of my lungs, hoping he could hear me wherever he was. "Jake? Jake, please, I need you."

I heard a scrambling of feet and then felt familiar hot arms wrap around me. I kept my eyes closed, afraid what I might see. I pulled his arms tighter around me.

"Just hold me. Please, just hold me."

I felt his hot lips press against my temple in agreement and he let out a sigh as he settled down in the bed for the night.


	6. Chapter 6 Jake's Junk

**All Characters belong to Stephenie Meyers.**

**Chapter 6 - Jake's Junk**

**Jake's POV**

I was ready to defend myself from my father's accusation. I didn't know how Bella knew where my room was and I didn't understand why she felt so comfortable there or why she wanted to be there just now. Bella started screaming my name like she was dying and so I ran to her side. She was curled into a ball in the middle of my queen sized bed so I had to crawl up next to her to let her know I was there. I was trying to think of what to say to her when I touched her arm and she seemed to relax instantly. She felt so cold to me as she pulled me tightly against her, wrapping my arms snuggly around her.

"Just hold me. Please, just hold me," she begged.

I glanced over at the doorway where my father was and he gave me a concerned nod of approval so I gently kissed her head so she would know I would stay for as long as she needed. I'd had a crush on Bella Swan for as long as I could remember but the last several years I hadn't seen her and I was excited she'd moved back even though I hadn't really had a chance to see her. I was shocked when her friend Alice called me and told me she needed me. I thought it was some sort of trick, but Bella was never one to pull pranks, not one that would hurt someone. Not like this. I didn't understand why this amazing girl asked for me or insisted on being here right now. All I knew was she was upset and my arms for some reason brought her comfort.

I tried my best to keep it platonic, to not think of the way she kissed me. She had never kissed me before. Well, not since I was six, but she kissed me tonight as if I was an old friend, a lover and it startled me and scared me a bit. I knew then something was wrong, something was off with Bella Swan. I just hoped whatever it was she would sleep it off.

As the morning light broke through the window, I was thinking my bed felt so much smaller with a girl in it. In the middle of the night I'd snuck out of her grasp for a moment to change into something more comfortable. Jeans were just so uncomfortable to sleep in and I realized this would be the case for her. I carefully set a pair of sweats and a t-shirt next to her just in case she woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to change. She was sound asleep now against my chest. She still felt cold to me but my t-shirt seemed to cling to her, her body was covered in a light sheen of sweat. I couldn't understand how someone so cold could be sweaty. I myself was feeling hot and abandoned my shirt in the middle of the night. Her little sweaty body had caused my shirt to stick to me, so I removed it, tossing it on the floor next to me.

I was sure that her being all sweaty was a sign she would be all right, like when a fever broke. It made sense; that is until she woke up and kissed my chest. Shit. 'Sweaty yucky girl, sweaty yucky girl' I chanted in my head. God, please don't let me get a boner with her next to me. I was only wearing sweats so there would be no hiding it and I was suddenly wishing I had on jeans again. She sat up and looked at me. She looked a little worried. I tried, I really tried not to look down past her face but I did and my sweat soaked shirt clung to her breasts, and she wasn't wearing a bra. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes and went back to praying. 'Please, no boner, please, no boner'. It didn't help that she slid her arms across my chest and laid back down, pressing her unrestrained breasts into me. 'No boobies, no boobies, don't think boobies'.

"Jake? Are you feeling okay?"

I took a moment to find my voice, clearing it before I spoke. It seemed to come out deeper than I expected and I hoped to god that she didn't laugh at me or think I was trying to do it on purpose.

"Yeah, Bella, I'm okay. Are you all right? You seem kind of cold."

She laughed at me. I knew it, I sounded like an idiot.

"I always seem cold to you, wolf man."

Wolf man? She had name for me? Why wolf man? She whacked my chest playfully as she said it.

"Wolf man, huh?"

"Of course, silly, what else would I call you?"

"Um, I don't know."

And I didn't but this line of questioning was not distracting me from my sudden morning hunger, God, I felt like I hadn't eaten in years. My stomach growled and she laughed at me.

"Let me make you some breakfast, Jake. It's the least I can do for coming and saving me."

She got up off the bed and walked over to her pile of clothes on the floor. There was a black lacy bra on top and I prayed my mind would not try and imagine her wearing the matching underwear. Please, god, no boner.

"I need a shower. You mind if I take one first?"

"Um, yeah, that's fine."

She opened the cabinet in the hall and pulled out a towel. How did she know they were there? She disappeared into bathroom without me telling her which door to go in. I heard the water running and then my dad rolled up to my doorway. His eyes widened in shock. Shit, he was going to think something happened because I wasn't wearing my shirt.

"I swear, Dad, nothing happened last night. We just slept. I was just hot, that's why I took my shirt off."

I picked up my shirt off the floor and held it up for him; it was still damp with Bella's sweat.

"Jake, are you feeling alright?"

Now he just confused me.

"Yeah, Dad, I'm fine. I'm a little worried about Bella, though, she feels so cold to me and she's covered in sweat. I'm not sure how that's possible."

"You feel hot?" he asked not sure of himself. I felt warm but not really hot, so I shrugged.

"Come here, Jake."

I stood up off the bed and looked down. Something wasn't right; maybe whatever caused Bella to go crazy was catching because I suddenly felt way taller than I should be. My dad noticed the worried look on my face.

"It's alright, Jake, just come here. Let me feel your head."

He talked to me as if he was trying to calm a wild animal, which was ridiculous. I was worried but not really upset. I bent low so he could feel my head and he inhaled deeply and exhaled sharply.

"You're the one that's hot, Son. You were making her sweaty. I'm sure she's fine, but she needs to go home."

My heart fell a little at the last part. My stomach growled loudly.

"But she was going to make me breakfast. Please let her stay to do that."

"Jake, I don't think it is safe for her here right now."

"Safe? She's perfectly safe, what on earth would hurt her?"

"You."

"What? Don't be ridiculous. I would never hurt her."

It irritated me the way he accused me last night, and now this. What was his deal, why wouldn't he just shut up? I swear I did nothing and he was all over me.

"She has to leave, Jake."

"No!" I snapped. I wanted to make sure she was okay before she left, and even though she seemed better, I hadn't really had a chance to talk to her. I wanted the chance to talk to her, maybe spend the day with her; I wasn't going to let Billy take that from me.

"You need to go outside, Jake, and cool down; you're not safe to be around. I'll call Charlie to come pick her up."

That was it. I'd had it with him and his not safe!

"I AM SAFE! I'll take her home when I'm ready, NOT Charlie!"

My body was shaking hard and Billy just rolled back down the hall, his eyes wide.

"Jake, take it outside. It's not safe to be upset with Bella in the house."

His words set me over the edge and I felt like my skin exploded off of me. I heard a deep growl emanate from somewhere and I looked for where the noise came from. I realized then that it was coming from me. I started to look at myself and panic set in. I was covered in hair, lots of it. In the midst of all this fighting I had not heard Bella shut off the water and freaked when she opened the door. She was only wearing a towel. God, she was going to freak out and run. I heard Billy call for her but she didn't change her focus, she looked me directly in the eyes. She looked, disappointed?

"I thought I heard a growl. Really, Jake, I thought you had better control of your temper." She walked slowly up to my face watching my eyes carefully.

"Jake honey, why don't you settle down, okay? I'll get you some breakfast."

She gentle reached up and petted my muzzle as if it was something she'd done a thousand times before. Each stroke seemed to radiate peace and I felt myself relaxing into her touch.

"See, that is a good wolfy. Come on, baby, come back to me so I can feed you, I know you must be starving now."

I felt my body shifting back to the way it was before. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on her touch. I found myself leaning into her and wrapping my arms around her. I felt a gentle kiss on my lips.

"All better?"

I looked down at her deep brown eyes. Yes, everything was perfect I thought. Then the feel of her towel against my bare skin registered and I realized I was naked. I jumped back and tried to cover myself with my hands and she just laughed.

"Jake, don't be silly, it's nothing I haven't seen before!"

I saw my dad's mouth drop open behind her as I turned to slink off into my bedroom. She whacked my bare behind,

"Quit acting so shy and hurry up and get dressed!"

I looked over my shoulder to see her go back into the bathroom. I quickly tried to throw on my clothes, but my shirt was too tight and the pants I was going to wear were not cutting it so I put on my summer shorts that were in the bottom of the drawer. I hoped it wouldn't be too cold today. I came out into the hallway and looked down at the remnants of my sweat pants, trying to figure out what happened. She stepped out of the kitchen and opened another hall closet and pulled out the broom and dustpan. Again, how did she know it was there?

"Here, clean it up."

I noticed as she approached that something didn't smell right. She smelled sickly sweet, and it kind of hurt my nose. I felt my body start to shake again and she noticed.

"What is it now, Jake?"

"You smell funny."

She rolled her eyes as if she had heard this a million times.

"Really, Jake, after what I went through last night you're going to play the 'you stink like vampire card?'"

"What?"

Okay, she was still nuts.

"They haven't been at their house in years!"

She lifted her shirt to her nose and inhaled. She seemed to enjoy what she smelled, but my shaking wouldn't stop.

"Bells, um…"

How did you tell someone to back up because their smell might make you explode into a hairy monster? She looked at my shaking body.

"Fine. I'll change. Go outside and get some air!"

She seemed annoyed but she understood. She really was an odd girl. I felt the crisp air in my lungs but it didn't seem to bother my skin. My father was waiting on the porch for something but he didn't say what. Then I saw a man break through the trees.

"Jacob Black," he called to me. He only wore a pair of shorts, no shoes, and no shirt; the winter air didn't seem to bother him, either. "Your father tells me you have gone through the change."

I looked at my dad; he was still watching the man approach from across the field.

"I, too, have undergone the change. I'm the first of your pack."

"Pack?" My dad looked up at me when I said the words; his face was locked, not completely stern but not smiling. He was proud?

"Dad, what's going on?"

"You remember the legend of the wolf?"

It took me a moment but suddenly it clicked; the tribal legend of our people being shape shifters. My eyes flew wide,

"What? That's real?"

My dad gave me one swift nodded and then I heard Sam's voice next to me. He was standing at the front of the porch.

"It is real, Jacob Black, you're a descendant of Ephraim Black and I'm of the line of Uley, so we change. There may be others; we have to watch for signs."

He looked pained for a moment and then spoke again.

"How did you calm down so fast?"

I wondered if he took longer and thought that he probably did. He probably didn't have someone like Bella.

"Bella," was all I said and he looked at me confused. The smell of bacon was thick in the air and then Bella opened the door.

"Oh, hi, Sam, you going to join us for breakfast?"

She knew Sam? How did she know Sam? I barely knew Sam.

Sam looked at her confused and then said, "Sure?" like he wasn't sure.

She went back inside to set the table and my father waved us off to go in, apparently he had already eaten. Bella had set the table for three and I wondered how good her hearing was that she knew Billy wasn't joining us.

"So, um, Bella, how do you know Sam?"

She looked up at me shocked and annoyed.

"What? Jake, are you feeling all right? You know I know he's part of the pack. What's your deal this morning? You sure are acting strange."

I noticed Sam shift uncomfortably when she mentioned the pack. I decided to play off it. "I am feeling a little off today."

"Well, I figured that out when you got all shy and covered your junk this morning. Really," she rolled her eyes. Sam looked at me surprised. I just shrugged.

"Just talk to me about the pack, it'll make me feel better."

She looked up at me with concerned eyes and then took a deep breath. "Fine, what do you want me to tell you?"

"Everything, from beginning to end, you know I find your voice soothing."

She gave me a sweet smile; she had to know the last part to be true the way she seemed to calm me so easily.

"Alright, well you, Sam, Embry, Quil, Paul, Seth, Leah…" I noticed Sam flinch at Leah's name, but Bella continued, "Collin, Brady, and oh, heaven's, my mind is getting fuzzy this morning. I can't remember the rest, but they make up your pack. You protect humans and hunt vampires that you insist stink," she motioned to her clothes in my room. "I really think you do play that up a bit much," she said as she scooped some more egg into her mouth and looked over to Sam. I followed her gaze expecting him to say something like she was crazy but he didn't.

"No, they do stink, bad, and they burn my nose."

My mouth dropped open. Was he insane, too? It was then I notice Sam sniffing towards my room.

"Was there one here last night? I thought I caught traces of one."

"No, that was just me. I was out at the Cullen's place and Jacob picked me up."

Sam's eyes flew open wide and then narrowed on me.

"You went to the Cullen's?"

"I, I didn't know, some girl named Alice called and told me to pick up Bella; she didn't tell me her last name."

I chanced a look over at Bella and she was frozen stalk still. Shit, I broke her again.

"Bella? Bella, are you all right? Did they hurt you?" Sam asked concerned.

I couldn't figure out why he was concerned. Yeah, they gave me the creeps but I didn't think they would hurt her.

Bella narrowed her eyes at Sam, "You know they would never hurt me!" she snapped and stormed off to my room and slammed the door.

"Great," I muttered to myself.

"Something's not right with her," Sam said.

"You think?" I got up annoyed,

I was going to go check on her when he grabbed my shoulder.

"You're young, you shouldn't get too close to that smell; you might hurt her."

Billy had come in when he heard Bella slam the door. "Is everything alright?"

I scratched the back of my head; I didn't know what to say. No one was hurt but Bella wasn't all right.

Sam spoke first. "You need to remove the clothes she wore with the smell. They'll set Jake off."

My dad nodded and wheeled down the hall. He opened the door to see Bella crying into her shirt.

"Bella?" my dad tried to speak soothingly, "Bella honey, I need the clothes you wore last night, the smell is making it difficult for Jake."

Angrily, she snapped them at my dad, throwing them at him, and then when her face met his and she saw what she did, she looked like she went into shock.

"He's not here, he's not here, he's not here," she muttered over and over.

I groaned as my dad rolled away. Sam looked at us confused.

"She was like that when I picked her up last night."

My dad was shoving the offensive smelling clothes into a bag when Sam blurted out.

"He went to the Cullen's place last night."

My dad's eyes went wide. "Are you alright, Son?"

"Yes, fine, why? Why is everyone acting all weird? It's not like they're real vampires, that's…"

I was about to say that was just a stupid legend, but I stopped in mid thought, remembering suddenly Bella and Sam's exchange. I looked at Sam. He just nodded at me.

"They're not…I mean, not really?" I asked.

"Yes, they are and you going over there was probably what set off your change. It usually takes longer, a week at least. I wonder what set it off. I mean, you didn't come in direct contact with them or anything, they're usually so careful about distancing themselves."

I remembered specifically shaking an older tall blonde man's hand. It did feel unnaturally cold but I didn't think anything of it at the time, and then there was the little bouncy Alice chick. She tapped my shoulder when Bella shocked me with a kiss. I rubbed my eyes. Maybe this was just a crazy dream.

"Jake!" Sam's voice brought me out of my thoughts. "Did they touch you last night?"

I rubbed my hand across the back of my neck.

"Yeah, I kind of shook one of their hands and then one tapped me on the shoulder to let me know it was time to go."

My dad spoke next. "That must have been what rushed the change."

Sam nodded at him in agreement.

"It still doesn't explain how Bella knew it was Jake or why she could calm him down." We all looked at my door wondering about the curious girl behind it.

"No, she seems to know too much. According to her the pack will grow quit large, but she could be wrong; she may be mental; she named Leah Clearwater as one of the wolves. She's a descendant but she's a female. Never in our history has that ever happened. She may just be crazy but she can't be allowed to leave, not spouting the stuff that she is."

My eyes narrowed at Sam. I wanted Bella to stay but I wasn't about to hold her prisoner. "We need to find out what's going on with her before she goes anywhere."

My dad added, "I'll call Charlie and tell him you ran into Bella in town and that she'll be hanging out here. I don't feel comfortable keeping this from my friend; he'll be okay with her being here."

We all nodded in agreement. Bella was Charlie's daughter first to my dad, and I knew he would help me protect her.

Sam headed for my bedroom door and I followed close behind. My dad's wheelchair didn't fit through this door so he went to go call Charlie and left us to Bella. Sam spoke first.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

His words seemed to break through whatever she was lost in for a moment.

"Sam!" Her face lit up with recognition.

She turned to me and then reached a hand out for me. I took it and sat down next to her. She curled her body into my lap, tucking herself into me as if she'd done it a million times before. In a strange way it felt natural, almost familiar. Sam noticed our closeness. "Bella, how is your relationship with Jake?"

"Fine I suppose, he's still my best friend."

"Still?"

"Well, yes, we may have been closer for a few years but since he imprinted on Nessie, I'm okay with being his friend, he knows that, I understand what happened was out of his control."

Sam shot a pointed look at me. I had no idea what Bella was talking about. What did she mean by closer and who was this Nessie, she mentioned her last night.

"Bella? I know you haven't been feeling well, so can you tell me what year it is?" Sam asked carefully.

She looked annoyed. "2028."

I gasped. What the hell? She said it was nearly twenty years later than it actually was.

Sam held his calm expression. "Yeah, that's right."

I looked at him shocked. Was I the crazy one?

Sam continued his line of questioning. "Bella, I know this is hard on you, but could you please tell me about the Cullen's."

Bella's chest heaved as if she was preparing herself and she pressed a little deeper into my arms.

"Okay, they were my friends; they saved me from James, killing him when he tried to kill me." She gently stroked her wrist but when I looked at where she touched there was nothing there. "You know Victoria's mate," she added.

Sam just nodded and I wondered if he did know.

"Edward," she choked on the name as she spoke it. You could almost feel the pain radiate off of her. I wanted to make Sam stop, but his stern look told me he was going to push forward with this, "He, he didn't love me, so they left. He left me my senior year and they haven't been back since."

The pain was evident on her face; I could almost feel it myself.

"He didn't want me anymore," she whispered softly. It was like a black whole of despair sucking in my soul. How could anyone not want her?

"So, you were what to him, before he left, Bella," Sam pushed and I wanted to tell him to stop.

"He was my boyfriend."

I saw Sam stiffen, he didn't like that idea.

"Are we done, Sam? I don't want to talk about him anymore," she softly whimpered out.

"That's fine, how about we talk about Jacob here. He needs some refreshing this morning; he's acting like it's his first day as a wolf."

She laughed and I was glad that for a moment her mood was lighter. She smiled up at me, "He is acting funny."

Sam gave her a big smile to encourage her to speak. "Tell us about your relationship, how did it start?"

"You know that, Sam, you have the pack mind, reading each other's thoughts in wolf form and all," Bella laughed.

Sam looked surprise for a moment but quickly smoothed his face, "Of course, but just for fun."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine, okay, I got a couple of motorcycles I needed help with and Jake here, the magical mechanic he is, got the pieces of crap running and he taught me how to ride. He hung out with me and tried to help me get over him."

We knew she was talking about Edward.

"It was just natural for us to get closer over time, and then when the packed saved me from Laurent and then Victoria, I guess it was just natural for my feelings for him to get deeper."

"How much deeper?"

"Sam!" she yelled shocked. "I am not giving you the sordid details of my sex life. Besides, you probably got most of it from Jake at the time. It just wouldn't be right to discuss it now that he's with Nessie."

"Oh." Sam looked at me a little shocked but I thought the shock on my face would have trumped his any day.

"Where is Nessie anyway?" she asked suddenly.

"Um, shopping," Sam thought fast. Shopping was totally a normal girl thing to be doing.

"Oh, are her and Emily out buying stuff for the baby?"

"The baby?" Sam asked nervously.

"Yes, silly, Emily said she would go with Nessie to help her get what she needs for the baby."

Did she say baby? I was going to have a baby with someone named Nessie? She had to be nuts.

"How is Emily doing?" Bella asked Sam.

"Emily, is," he ran his hand through his hair nervously,. "She's going to be okay."

Bella gave him a big smile. Who was Emily and why did it upset Sam so much?

"Good, I know she's been busy helping out with Quil and Claire's wedding,"

Her smile seemed to falter. I noticed that in this future of hers everyone had someone but her.

"Who are you seeing, Bella?" I asked.

She gave a nervous chuckle, "You know I don't date, what did Paul say, once you go pack you never go back?" she laughed blackly and then got up off my lap. "You know I'm alone."

Her hand went to her arm and I noticed for the first time the stitches and the giant gash. How on earth did I miss that? "What happened to your arm, Bella?" I asked and I saw tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jake. Um, I need to go home." She headed out the door and we followed. She stopped on the porch when she realized she didn't have a car. "Can you give me a ride home?"

"Yeah, Bella, no problem." I grabbed the keys and Sam took them from me. Apparently he knew I didn't have a license. We started into town when Sam broke the silence.

"Can you give me direction to your house? I can't remember how to get there on the streets?"

"Yes, I suppose you only know the way to my house through the woods."

Why would Sam know how to get to her place through the woods? She gave him directions and he was following them but she looked a little distressed when the last road we turned on ended up being a dirt road that led out into the woods. We stopped in a clearing and she got out.

"This, this, this isn't right, this is not right," Bella stammered in a panic. She was looking around franticly and ran up the road to the street sign. She stared at it shaking her head as if she was trying to make something appear. She looked back at Sam and me standing in the clearing and came running back up to me.

"Jacob! Jacob! What's today's date," she asked with wide frightened eyes. "What year is it?"

That seemed to be the million dollar question today. I didn't want to upset her, but I had to tell her the truth.

"It's 2008, Bella."

**BPOV**

I was just getting out of the shower and was about to wipe the steam from the mirror when I heard a growl from the hall. I let out a sigh; I wondered what was upsetting Jake this morning. I opened the door to see him in full wolf form, completely filling up the hallway, I wondered if he could even move if he wanted to. It looked like his temper had gotten the better of him again.

He seemed to be shifting uncomfortably. I let out a sigh. He probably needed help calming down so I did what I had done a hundred times before. I gently stroked his muzzle, speaking softly to him until he changed back into himself. His arms wrapped around me and it felt good and safe. I stole a kiss and asked him if he felt better. Then he started freaking out about being naked which was hilarious. I had never known Jacob to be shy. I took the liberty of whacking his naked behind just because I could and it made him jump. He was being hilarious this morning.

I quickly threw my clothes on and got started on breakfast. When I heard Jake come out of the bedroom I peeked down the hall to see him examining the scraps of sweat pants he left behind. I pulled the broom and dust pan out of the cleaning closet and handed them to him. He screwed up his nose at me and told me I didn't smell right. If I was a wolf I would have growled, he was being ridiculous.

He was really ticking me off but then I noticed he was shaking. He did already change once this morning so I decided not to push him. I sniffed my shirt and to my surprise and great pleasure it did smell like Edward. He brought me back from my distraction and I noticed Jake was still shaking.

I went into his room and dug out another pair of sweat pants and tied them so they would stay on my hips and pulled out another t-shirt. I laughed at the size of it. Did this thing even fit him? It would be skin tight. It was how he wore most of his clothes when he first changed just because they couldn't afford to buy him more but he eventually burst through all his clothing, I was surprised to see he still had one small shirt. I quickly got back to work in the kitchen and made huge portions of eggs, bacon and toast. I hoped it was enough, that man could out eat an army.

I heard him talking to someone on the porch, someone from the pack no doubt and so I added another dozen eggs to the mix, quickly cooking them up. Wolves were always hungry. I opened the door and saw it was Sam that Jake was talking to and invited him in for breakfast. He was acting weird this morning but I tried to brush it off. I was feeling better this morning and I was trying hard not to think too much about anything. My hallucinations last night were so real it scared me. I was afraid I was going to lose it again. I quickly set the table and we all sat down to eat.

Jake asked how I knew Sam which was weird. What was he playing at? Was he trying to make me crazy? Maybe he was the one feeling off, he was acting strange this morning. He answered, a little unsure of himself, admitting that he was feeling strange. It was true then, I wasn't imagining things; he was acting weird, especially when he asked me about the pack. I wondered what was really going on in his head. Crazy wasn't catching, was it? I took a deep breath and recounting everything I knew about the pack just to appease him.

When it was mentioned that Jake went to the Cullen's house, Sam went nuts. Why would he care if he went there? The place was abandoned. It was on one of their patrol routes for heaven sakes, but the words that came out of Jake's mouth were what floored me. He claimed he didn't know who Alice was and that she was a Cullen. What they hell were they playing at?

I couldn't handle it, I had to get away from them but I was afraid to go too far, afraid I might lose myself again so I retreated to Jake's room, slamming the door behind me. I found my shirt and brought it to my face. It did smell like the Cullen's. I didn't understand how it could after all these years. Their place still held their smell and I took it in, almost daring my hallucinations to start, hoping once again to see Edward. I flinched internally as I thought his name. He felt so real last night I couldn't restrain the tears. I heard a voice asking for my clothes. Apparently the scent of them was irritating the wolves in the house. Figures, stupid wolves! I threw my clothes towards the voice and turned to yell at them but stopped, shocked to see it was my hallucination of Billy, he had returned again.

I reminded myself over and over that Billy wasn't really there, hoping to get a grip back on reality. I looked up and he was gone and the door was closed again but my shirt was still missing and I wished I had it so I could inhale the Cullen's again.

I heard Sam's voice and looked up and saw him. He looked just as he should. Maybe I wasn't completely insane. Jacob stepped in behind him and I reached out to pull him to me. I needed him to help me stay grounded. I curled up in his lap finding some peace.

Sam asked another odd question about my relationship with Jake. What was he getting at? Did he think we were having an affair or something? I needed him to know that I understood imprinting. I would never do anything to get between him and Nessie.

Then he asked me what year it was and I told him. Really, what was his deal? Then he asked me to talk about the Cullens and I wanted to cry. My chest ached to hear their name out loud but he looked serious so I agreed. I retold how the Cullen's were my friends and that I had become involved with Edward, which seemed to upset Sam. I asked to move on, and he agreed, instead having me talk about meeting Jake. I asked questions about Nessie, and though Sam answered, it seemed he really didn't know what he was talking about, which was very strange.

I wondered how Emily was doing. I knew her arthritis had been acting up lately so I asked how she was since the whole baby thing was throwing Sam for a loop. I mean really, she was eight months pregnant, pretty hard to miss that. Sam said she was okay but his answer said otherwise. I hoped she was coping okay and gave him a smile of encouragement.

I remembered her telling me about how after making several bags of seeds to throw at Quil and Claire's wedding her hands hurt and I wondered again if she was doing alright. It was hard to think of their wedding, everyone so happy together and me alone, but I could be happy for them. Then Jacob's words hurt more than I thought they could. He knew I was alone so why was he rubbing it in?

I laughed blackly at my statement about not dating. I needed to go home. I didn't know if I could handle seeing Jake and Sam with Nessie and Emily. I looked at my arm and I wondered how my attempt to kill myself had been stayed off. I saw the stitches but I knew they couldn't have been done by Carlisle; no, I must have been really out of it not to remember what really happened. I was alone, the Cullen's were gone, and apparently so was my mind.

I asked them to take me home and Sam agreed. I went to the door and hurried out to the front porch but realized my car wasn't here. I cursed silently; I knew I must have been out of it because I had no clue where my car was just now. I found it odd that Sam drove. I tried not to think on it to much; I was barely hanging on as it was. Sam broke the silence, asking for directions by street. He seemed to know just where I lived from my directions; I decided to doze off in the back seat, last night's bout of insanity had really taken a lot out of me. I felt the road change and opened my eyes confused. There were no dirt roads in my directions. I sat up to see where we were. It all looked familiar but wrong at the same time. Something wasn't right.

Please don't let me be losing it again. I ran up to the street sign on the corner, this couldn't be right. It was my street and the Haney's house was still there across the way but my apartment building was missing. The street was unpaved and the rest of the buildings that surrounded mine didn't even look like they had ever been built. How could it be? I tried to put together all my insane thoughts, tried to puzzle piece them right. Was I lost in time? Was I standing here before my apartment building was ever built?

It couldn't be. I was dreaming, I had died at thirty eight years old. This just couldn't be happening.

Jake shifted uncomfortably when I asked what the date and year was, unsure how to answer. He looked at Sam and then answered, proving I had totally gone insane.

"It's 2008, Bella."


	7. Chapter 7 The 2028 Girl

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter 7 - The 2028 Girl**

**BPOV**

I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air. I saw Jacob's face; it was all wrong, it couldn't be 2008. Jacob hadn't changed yet in 2008.

"No, no you're wrong, it's all wrong, you don't change in 2008."

I started stumbling away from what I believed to be my hallucinations. I ran towards where my apartment building should have been. Surely I would hit it; I knew if I could touch it I would feel it. I ran deeper into the forest hoping to touch it when I finally hit something solid. I thought it was a wall at first but then I heard his voice.

"Bella, Love, where are you going?"

"No, you're not here," I sobbed. Edward was back and holding me in his arms."You're not here."

He was looking behind me worried about something coming.

"Please, Love, don't be upset. I'm here, how can I prove to you that I'm here?"

His words seemed so full of pain; of course my hallucination would ache to see me. I wanted him to want to see me. I wanted him to want me.

"Kiss me, Edward." He looked down at me with worried eyes as I stepped closer.

"I miss you so much, please, please, just kiss me."

I wound my arms around his neck and tangled my fingers into his hair. His eyes closed and he purred for a moment reveling in the feel of my touch. Of course my hallucination would enjoy this, but I knew when he would kiss me he would leave me feeling empty and I would know for sure he was not there, I knew if he would kiss me he would disappear. He pulled me tighter against him and leaned down into me, his nose touching my cheek as he breathed in my scent.

"I will kiss you, my Bella, but you must hold very still."

My eyes met his; they were still a blazing topaz so I knew he would be okay. His lips ghosted across my cheek leaving an icy trail of fire. God, I wanted him, I wanted him to be real. His lips gently touched mine as if testing something and then crashed down more forcefully sending waves of tingles all the way to my toes. This was not right; hallucinations did not kiss like this. His hand wound through my hair and the other pulled me tighter against him. I moaned with pleasure and he growled in response. I pulled his hair, yanking him down into me and he responded by lifting me up against him. Oh, my God, this was Edward, he was really here in my arms right at this very moment kissing me, kissing me like he wanted me, but how could that be? He released my mouth and started kissing down my cheek to my neck and that was when I heard two very loud distinct growls, and neither came from Edward. He quickly put me behind his back and when I looked around him I could see Jake and Sam in wolf form. I tried to move in front of him to stop them from hurting Edward but he wouldn't let me budge.

"They're not safe in this form, Love, just stay behind me."

Jake barked at his words and sounded annoyed.

"Think what you want, dog, but I won't let you near Bella, not until you settle down." Suddenly, all three of them looked in the same direction and instantly we were surrounded.

"Need a hand, brother," James asked as he looked at me curiously and then to the wolves.

"James."

The name slipped from my lips in a whisper but I knew everyone heard it loud and clear. James examined me closer.

"Have we met before?" he asked gently touching my cheek. The wolves were snapping mad and Edward let out a growl.

"He doesn't seem to want to share his food," Victoria said with a smile.

"Well, that's not very polite," Laurent answered her.

"Maybe if we helped him with the wolves he would be more inclined to share," James said with a smile.

I didn't like the odds of the fight. It was three against three but I'd rather it be stacked more in our favor. Just as if it was an answer to my prayers, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice came bursting through into the clearing. The wolves jumped a little and backed up, letting them pass as they slowly walked at a human pace to where Edward and I were standing with James, Laurent and Victoria.

"You're outnumbered this time," James spoke to the wolves. "You should go and let us have this human."

Edward pushed me into Alice's arms and she immediately leapt away. I heard the crash of stone on stone and heard the wrenching of metal. I knew it was them fighting and prayed that they would be all right. Alice ran with me in her arms and then pulled out her cell phone. She called Esme and told her to meet us at Charlie's with Carlisle. I didn't want to go home, I wanted to stay and make sure everyone was okay. We met up with Carlisle and Esme about a block from my house. Both gave me a smile.

"How are you feeling this morning, dear?" Esme asked in a concerned motherly voice.

I saw her reach for me then hesitate. She was about to pull her hand back when I snatched it in mid air, letting her know it was okay for her to touch me. I wasn't scared. The largest smile filled her face and she looked at Carlisle pleased.

"I'm doing better, thanks," I finally answered.

We pulled up to Charlie's house moments later; his cruiser was in the driveway.

"Come on, dear. Let's go in," Esme said with a smile and pulled me out of the car. Carlisle knocked on the door and my father answered.

"Carlisle, what brings you here? Is everything alright?"

The men patted each other on the shoulder in greeting and Charlie welcomed everyone in.

"Well, as you know, Bella was at our house last night, but unfortunately I can't return her in perfect condition."

"Oh?" Charlie's eyes were examining me when Esme lifted my arm for Charlie to view.

"She fell down and got a nasty gash. Of course Carlisle took care of it immediately, I hope you know we truly are sorry."

"Oh, is that all?" Charlie gave them a reassuring smile.

"Bella is a bit clumsy; I guess having her friend's dad be a doctor is a good thing."

Alice bounced and clapped her hand. "Oh, so does this mean she can still hang out with me?"

"Yeah, sure, I don't see why not. Like I said, it's probably safer for her at your house than here, having a doctor handy and all."

I blushed three shades of red. I wasn't that clumsy, at least not this time around.

"Would you care for some coffee, I just made a fresh pot?" Charlie offered and to my surprised they accepted.

"Come on, let's go to your room," Alice said pulling on me and so I followed.

I must have still been shaken up about the whole exchange with James because my knees felt weak and I stumbled on the stairs. My dad looked over at me and once he saw I was okay he turned back to Carlisle and Esme. "See what I mean?"

They all chuckled at my expense.

Angry tears fought their way free and I stormed into my room and slammed my bedroom door.

"Geez, Bella, what's your problem?"

I threw myself on my bed, not sure how to answer.

"You're lucky Charlie bought that. For a minute there I saw you doing a stint in a mental institution in Seattle."

I pulled my pillow over my head. It smelled like Edward and I sat up distressed.

"Are they okay, Alice?"

Her face went blank immediately and she pouted. "I can't see anything."

"They're still with the wolves then."

She looked up surprised at my words. "What?"

"You can't see them because they're still with the wolves."

"Why? What?" It was then I realized she didn't know she couldn't see the wolves.

"You can't see the wolves, Alice."

Something about my words bothered me, how did I know this? She didn't press the issue, though.

"Someone is calling Carlisle." We were silent so she could listen in. I heard a chair scrape on the floor.

"Well, I'm sorry you have to go." I heard Charlie say. "That's the life of a doctor."

"Yes, it is," Carlisle said with a laugh. I looked at Alice.

"One of the wolves got hurt. Edward said it was nothing serious; Carlisle should be able to fix it. Edward is on his way here." She pushed my window open.

"I have to go; Jasper, Emmett and Rose have James. I would like to have a few words with him before they kill him."

I was still stunned by her words. One of the wolves got hurt. Alice bounded down the stairs and I heard her shout back at the house.

"See you later, Charlie!"

"Alright, see you around!" His cheerful reply seemed so out of place in my panic. Who got hurt? I paced back and forth in my room for a few minutes. Alice said Edward was coming. Was he coming or was I insane? Was he? I walked over to my window and looked out into the forest. I saw a form topped with bronze make it into my view and I let the breath out I was holding. He was coming. I stepped back and he bounded into my window and smiled widely.

"Hello, Love, are you alright? You look worried."

I quickly examined him, running my hands over his body to make sure he was okay. "Are you okay, they didn't hurt you?"

His crooked grin stopped my heart for half a beat. "I'm fine, love, perfectly fine." He pulled me into his arms.

"And the others?"

"Jasper, Emmett and Rose are all fine, too." I looked up at his face; he didn't say the wolves were fine.

"What about Jacob and Sam?"

"Who?"

"Jacob and Sam, the wolves."

"That was Jacob? Not the Jacob I sent you with last night?"

I nodded my head yes.

"He's a wolf? I sent you with a wolf, a young one that's out of control?"

"I can handle Jacob."

"No, you can't."

"I did just fine with him this morning; I've been handling him for years!" He stopped in his tracks and looked at me intently,

"What do you mean by that, Bella?" I was still mad at Edward; we'd had this fight before.

"I've been handling Jacob and the rest of the pack for the past twenty years, Edward, ever since you left me. Who did you think would pick up the shattered pieces! Of course it was Jacob!"

I threw my hands up in the air at him and he approached carefully.

"Bella, Love, I, I haven't left you."

I tried to gather my thoughts and put things together. I couldn't understand what was happening. It was true; this Edward had not left me. Not yet. He was here and I could touch and feel him. I could remember a time when he was gone, it seemed so long, so long I couldn't stand it and so I threw myself from the cliffs, I could remember that life but then there was another. Another that seemed to keep pushing forward when I was not looking; one where Alice could not see the wolves, one where Jacob was just my friend and though he had loved and kissed me, we were always just friends. The one where Edward left but he came back to me, Edward loved me. The one where Edward marries me and changes me so I can be with him forever. I found his eyes and moved slowly to him, pushing my way into his arms.

"Edward, you change me."

He got a sad pout on his face. "Alice says you'll kill yourself if I don't. She says if I leave you, you die." He touched my face softly. I knew he didn't like changing me, he never like the idea of killing me, but I knew he would give in to it so we could be together.

"Then don't leave me. Change me."

"Is that what you really want, Love?"

"Yes, Edward, I need you, I can't think straight when you're not here. I don't know why but something is wrong, I can't figure it out but maybe when you change me the venom will make me better."

He shifted uncomfortably and stepped away. "I, I don't know if I can do this."

"I know you can." I did, I knew he could because he had before; some place, some time he had before, I just couldn't make out when. I couldn't get my mind to work right to tell me what I needed to know. Edward's phone rang and I heard him talking.

"I know. Yes, that's good, but is it safe? Fine!"

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's Jacob, he's doing better and he's asking for you."

I immediately started heading for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To see Jacob."

"He's fine, Bella."

"I know, but he's asking for me and he's my friend. I need to be there for him, Edward." I needed to be there for him and I needed to get his permission for the change. I knew he would give it to me. I was hurrying out to my truck.

"Going to La push, Dad!" I shouted and as I got in my truck Edward stepped in the way of the door before I could shut it.

"Fine, I'm coming with you." He pushed me over and took the keys.

"What about the treaty?"

"They're making an exception for our family today so Carlisle can take care of Jacob."

I was worried but it all seemed oddly familiar, like this had happened before. When we arrived at Jake's house, I ran inside. I knew where I would find him. He was sprawled out across his bed and I came bounding in and threw myself at him.

"Hey, Bell's, glad to see you, too."

I quickly looked him up and down; I noticed his chest was wrapped tightly. A vague memory of him getting crushed by a newborn came to my mind, but there were no newborns in this fight. I looked up at his sweet smile and felt his warm arms wrap around me gently, pulling me to him. I let him pull me close and I kissed his cheek as I snuggle carefully into him. I heard him sniff.

"Don't say it, Jake; I know what you're thinking."

"Really, Bells, how can you stand the smell?"

"Oh, Jacob! Don't be so mean."

"I'm not. I was just asking a question." I pouted at him but decided to let it go.

"You going to be okay?"

"Yeah, this wolf thing makes me heal fast." I kissed his cheek again, just so glad to see him okay.

"I know. Does it hurt?"

"Not really, Vamp Doc pumped me full of drugs so I'm feeling pretty good."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Well, good."

He turned serious for a minute. "How's your arm?" I was quiet. "I asked the Vamp Doc about it, he said he stitched you up but that you should tell me how it happened."

I didn't want to answer him.

"Hey," he said gently touching my face, "If I was your lover once, then we must be close enough for you to trust me with this."

I couldn't stop my tears. I lay down on his chest and he let me cry out the pain and shame I felt for what I did. I finally was able to get the words out. "I did it."

"How?" He didn't seem to understand.

"I did it, Jake; I was trying to kill myself."

His hand quickly brought my face up to his so he could see my eyes.

"I can't be alone, Jacob. I can't do this without Edward. I thought he left me, I was afraid to be alone again. I can't do it, Jacob, I just can't." I erupted into hysterical sobs and he just held me to his chest.

"I know, Bells, I know."

I was confused by his words. I looked up at him to see what he meant.

"When you talked about it before, I knew. I knew you should be with him then."

His words shocked me. I was silently trying to find words, trying to put a phrase together to ask if Edward could change me, but he answered before I could ask.

"Yeah, Bells, he can change you. You're meant to be together. Besides, I get Nessie, right?"

I smiled widely and kissed him again.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." I kissed him again grateful. So grateful, I hugged him tighter than I should.

"Watch it there, Bells," he groaned.

"Oh, Jake, I'm so sorry."

"Love," I heard Edward call to me. I turned to see him standing in the doorway. "He needs his rest, Love."

My breathtaking Edward stood in the doorway with his hand out reaching for me. I quickly launched myself into his arms. I heard his voice, "Thank you," he said to Jacob and he led me out into the night.

When we arrived at the Cullen's home I saw purple smoke rising in the distance. I knew they had taken care of James. I was safe.

"Are Victoria and Laurent gone as well?" I asked, wanting to be sure.

"Yes, Love, they're all gone, no one is going to hurt you."

He seemed to flinch at his own words. I knew it was because he believed he was going to hurt me.

"I'll be fine, Edward."

He led me upstairs to his room and I lay down on the couch and yawned.

"Are you tired, Love?"

"Yes, just a little."

"Then rest."

He pulled my head into his lap and gently ran his fingers through my hair as he hummed my lullaby. My dream was a mix of images I didn't understand. Me with my family. The Cullen's, they were my family. Images I couldn't quite place but remembered. Most of all, Edward; he was here with me. His scent was thick in the air. I breathed in deeply. I could not get enough of his scent. Edward was with me, he loved me and planned on changing me and now as I dreamed, my vision of the future supported this truth.


	8. Chapter 8 Naughty Girl

**All Characters Belong to Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter 8 - Naughty Girl**

**BPOV**

My eyes opened to see Edward's smiling face. The room was dark but the moonlight shone in through the window illuminating his perfect grin. I wound my fingers up in his hair and pulled his face to mine. He kissed me softly pulling me up in his lap. I wrapped my leg around him, straddling him. When I finally pulled away he whispered, "Sleep well, Love?"

I smiled in response. My memories of him were much more intimate than I had recalled before. I thought I would push my luck to see if my new knowledge of Edward's buttons would get him to hold me the way he had in my mind. I leaned in close to his lips and brushed them softly with my own. His eyes closed anticipating my kiss but then I licked his lips. His eyes opened surprised and I smiled and kissed him again, this time more urgently, letting him know I needed him. He growled softly and I smiled against his lips.

I pulled the hem of his shirt up letting him know I wanted his shirt off and to my surprise he complied. I sat staring at the beauty that was Edward for a moment, taking him in, gently running my hands over his skin finding his sweet spots. He began to purr softly for me. Oh, how I loved every sound he made. I leaned in again and licked his lips once more before I kissed him again, his hands held my head firmly in place until I started to grind against him. He growled again and gripped my thighs but did not still me. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me against him as he kissed down my neck.

I pulled off my offensive shirt that was obviously in the way and he smiled at me as his fingers found their place on my chest. I could not contain the sounds that erupted from me as he touched me. My Edward touched me. I smiled so big it hurt. He began to whisper sweet words of love as he laid me down. He kissed me softly, gently, lovingly, from head to toe and then as he made his way back to my neck he whispered in my ear, "Love, I'm going to bite you. I want you here with me forever so I'm going to bite you." I pulled him down against me and his teeth sunk in deep. I thought it would hurt, I remembered that it should burn, that there should be pain, but there wasn't. I just felt sleepy and cursed myself for not getting enough rest already. A fog seemed to fill my mind as Edward gently licked my neck; he was closing the wound.

"I love you, Edward."

I barely got it out before I dozed off, but not before I heard him say, "I love you, too."

His words sounded so distant but I could feel him here with me, next to me. He was lying next to me. My eyes were fighting to open to see him. I knew it was him; I could smell it was him, but he felt wrong, he felt warm.

"Edward."

My voice didn't sound right. My throat hurt, it burned, and I remembered what that was. I was hungry, but even still, there was a different ache to it. It hurt to talk.

"Carlisle!" I heard my Edward shout.

I could hear the footstep of people coming. I was starting to remember, I could remember the sound of the footsteps. I knew who was in the room. It was Carlisle, Esme, and Alice.

"Give her this, Edward," I heard Alice say.

I smelled something delicious, too delicious. It was the forbidden. I fought again to open my eyes; I could feel someone helping me sit up. The forbidden was brought close to my mouth and my throat felt like it would explode.

"Please, Love, drink."

I knew it was wrong; we did not drink human blood. I knew that was what was in the cup. "No," I croaked, "Not right."

"Not right?" I heard Esme question.

"It's human," Carlisle answered.

I felt the bed move. Why couldn't I open my eyes?

"It's alright, Bella, it's from the blood bank, and I bought it especially for you. It'll help you get better faster."

I felt the straw being pressed into my lips again and so this time I took it and drank.

"Yes, Love. That's it." I felt Edward press a kiss into my hair.

"Drink it all," he whispered into my ear.

The thick liquid coated my throat and soothed my ache, my burn.

"The extra venom seems to be working," I heard Carlisle say.

I felt Edward press his lips to my cheek. "Rest, Love; let my venom do its work."

I stopped fighting and did as he said. I drifted off again and this time the images seemed clearer. They made more sense. We were all in California, Alice had predicted overcast weather and we were all going to Disneyland. I smiled in my mind remembering it. It was hilarious, apparently Emmett was a Mickey Mouse fan and very excited. Before we even left on the trip Alice warned us there would be a small earthquake, but the threat of being shaken up did not cause us to hesitate. It was rare to get four days of thick cloud cover over the theme park and so we were going to take advantage of it but something happened while we were there. It was right on the edge of my mind and I could just make out the images in my mind. I could just make out the last thing I saw before I was hurt. Edward leaned into me. He kissed me softly. I could feel him press against me. His scent filled my senses. His words broke through my thoughts.

"I'm going to bite you, Love. I'm going to bite you so my venom can heal you. I can't lose you."

I felt his breath on my neck and then he softly kissed my skin. A moment later his teeth pressed into my skin. Again, it didn't seem to hurt; there was no burn. I smiled. I remembered why, I was a vampire; I felt his tongue against my skin gently closing the wound. My mind seemed to wake up this time. It felt like things were falling together. Images were making more sense. I was starting to remember what happened.

"Edward, where's Nessie?" I heard my voice say.

I knew her name and I wanted to know where she was, I knew she was important to me but I couldn't remember her. I wanted to smell her so I could remember who she was.

"She's with Jacob, Love; they're getting something to eat."

I couldn't help but smile, Jacob was hungry. I felt a whoosh, someone ran in at vampire speed. I heard something. A heart beat. It was fast, too fast. Then I felt a hot hand, was it a wolf? No, it didn't smell right. It smelled like sunshine and freesias, something so familiar, but I couldn't place it.

"Mama," I heard a sweet voice speak, who was this? Who were they talking to? "Hey, mom, I'm here. It's Nessie."

My eyes shot open. I was suddenly back in Edward's room under him on his couch. He was kissing my neck.

"Love, I'm going to bite you. I want you here with me forever, so I will bite you, but not tonight."

His hands moved down my body as I wrapped around him, pulling him as close to me as possible. My body seemed to explode under his touch. I couldn't get enough of him and I let him know. He purred and growled under my touch but moved slowly and controlled. He was trying to keep it under control. I understood; he was still fighting. I didn't understand where I had gone just moments before. It totally floored me to hear the voice call me mom. I didn't understand it. I didn't know what it was. Was it just a dream? Did I doze off? I found that hard to believe that I would fall asleep under Edward's touch.

My hands moved to his pants and his eyes looked down at me worried, but I just pulled him in, licking his lips and kissing him again as I undid his belt. This was important, I couldn't remember why but it was important. I looked at the arm of the couch as if remembering from another time. It was destroyed, chewed to bits, but not yet. That was what was going to happen.

"Edward, when it gets to be too intense, bite the couch," I said. He was about to protest but I grabbed him and he growled, closing his eyes as I stroked him.

I leaned up and kissed his chest several times and then he reached down and ripped my pants and panties off in one swipe. He looked at my face, shocked with his own actions. I just smiled and pulled him down to kiss me again. His hands gripped my thighs, this all seemed familiar, like we had done this a thousand times but then again it was our first time. One of my hands wound in his hair while the other pumped him. He eyed my breasts and I couldn't help myself.

"They're all yours you now."

His black eyes met mine and his smile mirrored my own. He kissed me again while ripping my bra off and cupped my breasts.

"I want you," I whispered as I lined him up with me. He looked down at me unsure. "Do it, Edward."

I pressed him with my legs that were wrapped around him. He gave in slowly, trying to temper his movements. I gasped as he entered. His face looked worried. "I'm fine."

I moved my hips under him and he growled at the sensation as I moved. "God, Bella, so amazing."

My hands ran over his body, encouraging him to move and he finally began slow controlled movements. I could tell he was struggling to keep control but I knew he was supposed to lose it. It hadn't happened yet but I remembered that he was supposed to break the couch.

"It's alright to let go, Edward."

He looked down at me worried. I pulled him down and kissed him again.

"You're going to be okay. The couch isn't going to survive but we're going to be fine."

At that I bucked a little faster at him and he gripped my hips. First he fought me and then he moved them faster and I couldn't help but giggle. He looked down at me, apparently not pleased with my ability to giggle, and started to ravish me. In seconds he had me panting and screaming his name. For his first time, he was amazing. He obviously had learned a lot from other people's minds and was now putting it to good use. His hands left my body and gripped the arm of the couch. I knew he was close. I wrapped my arms around him and pushed him further. He let out a roar and the couch lost the fight. He laid down on me, squishing me, but I loved being pressed under him. He was an Edward blanket and he was here. He had not left. I had changed something; we had changed something, because all my memories of the future were different now. He leaned down and was licking my neck and I giggled again.

At that he tickled me and asked, "What's so funny?"

Nothing was funny, I just felt giddy. I reached up and started kissing him. There was a knock at the door. Edward made a broody face and then asked, "What do you want, Alice?"

"I have clothes for Bella, and well, I need to talk to her."

"Go away," Edward said but I kissed his nose and said it was fine.

He pulled on his boxers and I hurried over to the door and peeked around it. Alice shoved my clothes at me. She looked worried again. This was not good, what was she seeing? I threw on the panties and the shirt and invited her in. She was giving Edward a worried look.

"Why don't you go hunt. I'll watch Bella for you." I noticed Edward looked at her eyes; they were golden, freshly fed. He threw on his pants and a shirt, not bothering with shoes and left. Alice sat on the bed looking at me concerned. She was upset about something. "What is it, Alice?"

"He doesn't leave now, not yet, not ever, he keeps you around, but you changed something. Something is different, something is not right. Edward, Edward is not right."

"What are you talking about?"

She leaned in close. "He doesn't love you, at least not the way he's supposed to."

The words crushed me. "What? How can you say that?"

She glanced around. "Right now, for some reason he views you as a possession, Bella. Did you see how he checked my eyes? He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to eat you. You're his."

"That's ridiculous, the only decision we made was that he would stay and change me."

"When is he going to change you?"

"We haven't discussed it."

"That is what I thought," she said.

"What are you saying, he's lying?"

"No, he's not lying but things are not going the way they should." She looked upset.

"Look, the future I remember is different as well, Alice."

"What did you remember?"

"I was sick or something. Something was wrong with me. Carlisle was taking care of me. I couldn't see anything but I was a vampire and I could hear and smell everything. Edward was injecting his venom in hopes to heal me and Carlisle bought human blood from the blood bank to help me heal faster."

"Oh, my God, Bella, what happened?"

"I don't know. I have no idea. I flashed to going to Disneyland with everyone and Emmett being excited about Mickey Mouse."

"Damn straight!" I heard Emmett yell from downstairs. I was going to tell her about the girl but after I realized Emmett was listening I decided against it. I didn't understand. Nessie was with Jacob, but I couldn't remember her relation to him and she called me mom. She had hot skin and a fast heartbeat. Was she a wolf? Did Jacob and I have a kid in the future? And if so, why was I with Edward? Why was I a vampire? Alice was studying my lost face. I felt her hand on my shoulder.

"The future is subjective; it changes all the time, Bella." I got up and headed to the bathroom. I needed to be alone with my thoughts.

"I know, Alice, we'll fix it. I'm going to take a shower."

She smiled and nodded. "I'll let you know when you figure it out."

"What?"

She tapped her head. "When you make the right choice, I'll see it and let you know."

I smiled remembering how useful that could be. "Thanks, Alice."

"Hey, Bella? Um, do you still remember from the time before, I mean, before we changed things?"

"Yeah, clear as day, like I lived it. I just have a second line of memories now, ones I don't fully understand that aren't as clear, I know things but they don't make sense. Like you not being able to see the wolves. I don't know why I know that. It's part of a different line of memories that didn't fully form."

"Hmmm," she tapped her head. Then she smiled, "Just keep thinking, okay? We will figure this out."

I found myself trying to remember the first life I remembered, the one where I was alone. There seemed to be something blank in it. Something I was missing and I remember telling Jake that Nessie was his wife. That wouldn't make sense, why would he marry someone that called me mom. I was alone forever. I was never with anyone to have a child. I couldn't understand it. I didn't have a child.

Just as I thought that, a girl with bronze curls and brown eyes flashed in my mind. I didn't understand. I tried to focus better on her, understand who she was. Her skin was pale and she was beautiful. "Mama," she called to me in my mind. Then she went from being a woman to a child, a toddler, to a baby in my arms and then I was pregnant. Jake was there, he was upset. I went to Florida. I had her there; she had a sister, she was a twin. It wasn't safe. I couldn't remember but for some reason it wasn't safe for my girls. I had to see Jake again. Maybe looking at him would jog my memory enough, give me the answers I needed. I jumped out of the shower and got dressed.

"Alice!" She appeared instantly. "I need my truck, where is it?"

"I saw as much." She handed me the keys and I hugged her.

"Thanks."

Jake was fast asleep in his bed when I got there so I just curled up next to him and waited for him to wake up. I ended up dozing off with him until I felt his huge hand twitch and tickle my side, causing me to squirm.

"What are you doing here, Bells? Change your mind about things?"

I crawled up and kissed his cheek. "No, just trying to figure something out."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"I'm not sure. There's something going on with me and I'm not sure what it is."

"You are acting kind of weird actually, saying crazy stuff."

"Jake, I remember things, from the future. Not all of it good. Most is bad; it wasn't a good future, not for me, anyway. You were happy, though."

He looked down at me worried. "Are you sure you're alright, Bells?"

"Just think about it. How did I know you were a wolf and how to calm you or that you eat enough to support a small country?" He just laughed a little.

"I knew about Sam. I know about vampires, I know about the treaty, the Cullen's. I know about bad vamps, too. But Jake, there's something else I don't get; there's someone else that doesn't make sense to me."

"What? Who?"

"Nessie. You remember I told you about Nessie, right."

He shifted nervously, "Um yeah, my wife with the baby."

"See, that doesn't make sense."

"You don't think she would want me?"

"No, that's not it. I know you imprinted on her and I knew her and what was going on in her life but I couldn't picture her face until recently and what I saw just didn't make sense."

"What are you talking about, Bells? What doesn't make sense?" Then it all came flooding back to me in a rush.

"I was…I had to...It wasn't safe for her. Not until you imprinted. You would come to see us but I wouldn't let you see them, I kept them hidden when you would come see me. We dated. I wasn't dealing with things well, I needed you. You knew I needed you. You finally talked me into moving back to Forks. The bikes, I got the bikes, we rode on the weekends. Charlie," I couldn't help but laugh at the memory, "Charlie babysat."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"That was the condition of me coming back. I had to protect them. No one could come near them. Not even you. The wolves all kept away from us, except you, but you weren't allowed in the house."

"What? Why not? What are you talking about? It doesn't make sense."

Then flashes of the meadow came to mind. I remembered. It was my eighteenth birthday before the party and I only asked for one thing and he gave it to me. "OH, SHIT!" I jumped off the bed and was pacing. I couldn't believe it. That ass left me and I was pregnant. Nessie, I was pregnant with Nessie, but that wasn't her name, that was just what Jake called her. My eyes were wide at my sudden revelation. I was upset and floored at the same time. I just burst out laughing. Of course I would be left alone to raise my children by myself. Jake was going to marry my daughter. I laughed loudly and maniacally, sounding quite disturbed.

"Great, that's just great. No wonder I killed myself."


	9. Chapter 9 Time Passages

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter 9 – Time Passages**

**BPOV**

"Bella," I felt Jake's worried hand on my arm pulling me back to him, "What do you mean you killed yourself?" I met his gaze with sad eyes.

"That's how this all started. I jumped off a cliff at First Beach in 2028 during a storm."

"What? Why would you do that?"

"Oh, Jake." I just curled up and cried. He wouldn't understand. After years of watching our daughters grow up and living happily ever after and not ever knowing him, after years of being alone, of remembering and longing for Edward, I finally lost it. I knew Edward would be missing it all. They would be missing out on their father and it was all my fault.

"I just couldn't take it anymore. He was gone and I just couldn't take it anymore."

His warm finger ran down my stitched arm.

"Bella, I don't know if he's good for you if you're hurting yourself."

"I'm not, Jake, and you're wrong!" I snapped and jumped from the bed again.

"He isn't… I'm not…" I struggled to explain. "He isn't the one that left me, okay, I've changed things. They're different. I've started remembering a different future now. You're still there, still my friend and still with Nessie. I'm not alone now, okay? I changed things and we're going to be happy."

He looked at me carefully and then pulled me close again with a worried look on his face. "Are you sure about this? I mean, is this the future or something else."

"It is."

"How can you be sure?"

"I'm remembering things I shouldn't, things I wouldn't know, but I do."

"Like what."

"Alice, my friend, she's Edward's sister."

"She's a vampire?"

"Yes, and she can see the future."

"What, so she confirms this shit for you?" He was getting upset.

"NO!" I stopped him before he could get the wrong idea. "No, okay, just listen to me. The sees the future differently from how I see it."

"What do you mean?"

"I see events really far ahead, like decades, and I remember them, they're like memories. Alice doesn't see memories. She sees random visions. I mean she could look for a person and watch for them but it's all subjective. It changes when choices are made. When minds change, her visions are more immediate, within the next year or so. Anyway, my point is, I know she can't see the wolves. I shouldn't know that but I do. When you got hurt, I remembered another time you were hurt but it was by a newborn vampire. I know that during the first year, they're stronger than a regular vampire is and much wilder, harder to control. This is stuff I didn't know before, but I know now."

"So this newborn vamp gets me?"

"You were hurt but you were alright." I kissed his forehead. "It's all vague and I can't make sense of most of it." I was back to pacing the room.

"So, um, Bells, who is Nessie?"

I just looked at him and shook my head. Should I tell him he was going to marry my daughter? I just laughed.

"You don't want to know. Just wait until you imprint, it'll be less weird then."

"Weird?"

"Trust me." I kissed his forehead again and headed for the door. "I've got to go, Jake. Thanks for letting me hang out."

"Sure, Bells, anytime."

"I know, and thanks."

I drove home, considering how none of this made sense. Maybe Alice was wrong about what she saw. I made my way up to my room and was surprise to see Edward sitting on my bed.

"Where were you?"

"La Push."

He pouted at me and I rolled my eyes.

"He's my friend and he was helping me work something out."

I laughed to myself at what it was. He was freaking going to marry our daughter. I looked up at Edward amused at my knowledge. However, he didn't look amused.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

He growled. "Isabella," he said in a warning voice.

"Oh, get over it, Edward."

He grabbed me roughly to him. "You smell like dog."

"That didn't bother you before."

"Isabella."

"Will you stop calling me that? Let me go so I can go take a shower and wash Jake off me."

"Is he on you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Jake is just my friend, a hot sweaty wolf friend but still just a friend. Sweat just comes with the territory."

"How did his sweat get on you?"

"Edward, would you just stop freaking out?"

"Well, I'm just trying to figure out if my supposed girlfriend is running around."

It was my turn to growl but I couldn't so I just slapped his face for even implying such a thing. I should have known better; I wasn't a vampire so it just hurt my hand.

"What did you expect? I barely know you, I've only known you for a couple of weeks and even though I feel things for you I've never felt before, the truth is, Isabella, I really don't know you well enough to know if you would run off with someone else."

His words hurt but they were true. By any outside standards, I would be a slut, sleeping with a guy after having only known him for a couple of weeks. But the fact was, I'd known him for years. I remembered him for years and as things changed I remembered the decades of time we spent together. I knew who he was, but he didn't know me.

"I don't cheat, Edward," was all I said and pulled away.

He let me go and I went to hop in the shower. I was pissed when I left and realized when I stormed out I didn't have any clothes with me. Great, I rolled my eyes, just what I needed. That was no way to prove I was not a whore, prancing around naked. I groaned internally. I opened the door slowly and poked my head in to see him sitting on the bed waiting; his legs stretched out and crossed, waiting like a good vampire.

"I, um, kind of forgot my clothes when I stormed out."

His eyes widened with recognition.

"Oh." He got up and moved to the window. "You want me to…" he motioned to the window.

"Just for a moment, while I get dressed, please?"

He nodded okay and started to open the window and then stopped.

"Wait, why don't you want me to see you? Did he do something? Leave a mark?"

That just pissed me off. I stormed in and slammed the door.

"I'm not a whore, Edward. Jake is just a friend and the only marks on me are the ones you left."

I yanked the towel from my body and his eyes widened and he took in my body and the marks he left behind. He reached up and gently touched the one just above my breast.

"Satisfied?" My angry tone seemed to snap him out of it. His eyes suddenly looked very sorry.

"Get out, Edward. I don't think I can sleep near you tonight."

He was about to say something but I just pointed to the window and he slinked out shamefully. I began stalking around my room, jerking on my clothes while I grumbled in anger.

"Jerk has some more nerve! After he leaves me pregnant and alone for twenty years, not even bothering to check on me or to see how his daughter's are! Hell, to even find out he has two daughters! That stupid, arrogant asshole, thinking I would cheat on him, and with our daughter's husband of all people! Ew! Oh, yeah, that would be rich! God, that would be talk show material for sure. 'Yes, Jerry, my half human, half vampire daughter married my best friend and ex-boyfriend who just happens to change into a wolf when he's pissed. I'm secretly having an affair with him because her asshole vampire father just up and left me.' God, all I would need would be some missing front teeth, a pair of saggy boobs in a tank top and to buy a trailer and I'd be set for the skank show circuit! Stupid jerk vampire!"

I was venting, ranting and rambling to myself. Then I heard him behind me.

"Bella?" I jumped at his voice.

"Damn vampires," I mumble under my breath knowing full well he could hear it.

"What, Edward? What do you want?"

He obviously didn't run away at super speed like I expected and heard my ramblings. I wasn't in the mood to discuss it with him.

"What, um, what are you talking about? I mean, you said we had daughters? That's not…"

I rolled my eyes. "Just get out."

"Bella, please? I'm sorry, okay? I just, I've never felt like this about anyone and it scares me."

I looked at his worried golden eyes. "Edward, I think we moved to fast."

His face looked like I'd slapped him. I didn't mean to hurt him. I crossed the floor and wrapped my arms around him.

"I love you, Edward, and I know you well, but you barely know me at all and I need to remember that we haven't been lovers for years in your head. You really don't even know me. We need to slow down." He still looked worried. "I loved you, Edward, I do, I really do."

I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him.

"I'm still your girlfriend but we need to do more getting to know you kind of stuff. I can't have you freaking out every time I talk to someone else."

"I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear and kissed down my neck.

I felt myself letting go, how could he know all my buttons already?

"Edward," I barely whispered out in protest.

"Sorry, Love." He stepped back and I sighed and shook it off a little and he laughed.

"Shut up or you're not staying." He was instantly quiet with a big grin on his gorgeous face.

I made it over to the bed and patted it so he would come sit next to me. He moved at vampire speed and had me wrapped up in my blanket and tucked into his arms before I could protest. I just laughed and kissed him.

"Now, now, none of that," he scolded. I just shook my head.

That was more _my_ Edward's response. I fell asleep fast, safe in Edward's arms, slipping into an amazingly vivid dream.

_We were having a picnic in the meadow. It was a sunny day. A sparkling Edward was carrying something and Jake was there. He had a little girl on his shoulders and then he turned back to see me. He was holding another little girl in his arms._

_"You gonna make it, Bells?"_

_I was happy but tired. I looked down; I was carrying a large picnic basket. I turned and looked at Edward and I was shocked to see he was carrying two baby boys._

_"You alright, Love? Why don't you give that to me?"_

_He shifted one of the boys and took the basket._

_"I knew it was too soon to be out after having a baby. You need your rest."_

_"I'm fine, Edward, really. I can use the fresh air."_

_He walked into the clearing and set down the basket, still holding the boys as he rummaged around the basket and pulled out a blanket and laid it down. He sat down with the baby boys in his lap._

_"Coming, Love?"_

_I smiled. I was happy._

_I lay down next to him and closed my eyes. I heard the girls giggling in the distance. I heard Jacob laugh._

_"Nessie! Come on, time slipping is cheating in hide in seek."_

_"Nah uh, it's not my fault you can't find me."_

_"Is that fair to little Elizabeth? She can't time slip."_

_"Yeah, but she can read my mind and know when I'm coming back!"_

_Jacob let out a loud hardy laugh and I felt Edward's cool lips on my cheek. "We have extraordinary children, Love."_

_I heard a baby start to cry. "Oh, Masen's awake. Can you take little Anthony?"_

_I felt him prop the little body against my side and I felt him start to scoot away. I rolled over and caught the little runaway in my arms. He had dark brown hair like me, but his eyes were a vivid green, amazingly. They must have been Edward's color when he was human. I couldn't help it. I had to kiss his little adorable cheeks. I brought him to my face but then felt a barrier. Edward just started to laugh._

_"Anthony likes playing with his shield."_

_I put him down and then suddenly a baby popped into my arms._

_"Apparently Masen wants mommy," Edward said laughing and picked up Anthony again._

_I just laughed. "Apparently so."_

_"That might be a problem when I change you, Love. When you're going through the change, he can't do that."_

_"Rose will take care of him," I cut him off._

_"Yes, but he can pop to you whenever he wants and you'll be in no condition to hold him."_

_"I can't wait any longer, Edward. I'm already nineteen. I'm sure I look much older. I know I feel much older. If I'm to eventually be your girlfriend in high school, I can't get much older."_

_"I know that bothers you, Love, but..."_

_"NO, Edward, I will not have you trying to delay the change anymore. We've already done everything human I could have wanted. We even have children; four is a big family by some standards. You wanted a family with me, Edward, and you have one, now it's time you change me so I can live to see them grow up and be happy!"_

_He leaned in and kissed me. "I know, Love. I'm just nervous about taking care of them without you for three days."_

_I just laughed. "I can always take a vacation so you can practice."_

_"No," he answered quickly. "No, three days without you will be enough." He kissed me and started pulling me closer, deepening the kiss._

_"Edward, four is more than enough."_

_He just started laughing. "I know, dear. I know."_

My eyes opened. "Four is more than enough of what, Love?"

I was back on my bed wrapped in Edward's arms he had a curious grin on his lips. "What were you dreaming about?"

"I don't know. I don't know if it was a dream or the future."

"Well, tell me about your dream." I looked up at him and smiled.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Well, you did say we should do more talking and getting to know each other."

"I dreamt we were on a picnic. You, me, Jake…" His face twisted into a scowl.

"I don't think I like this dream."

I laughed. "Oh, you do, Jake was keeping Nessie and Elizabeth busy."

"Really, and what were we doing?" he said with a seductive smile.

"I was holding Masen and you had Anthony."

"What? Okay, either your dream was really perverse or I'm missing something."

I just laughed. "You're missing something. They were our kids, all of them. Except for Jake, of course. He was just there helping out."

"Kids?" he got a really sad look on his face. "Bella, we can't have kids. I'm sorry. It's just not possible."

I rolled my eyes. "That's what you think,"

"Really, Love, I am sorry. I don't know where you got the idea…"

"You know where I got the idea, you left me. The life I remember the most vividly, the one where I kill myself, that was the one where you leave me never to return. What you don't know when you leave me is that I'm pregnant. You get me pregnant on my eighteenth birthday in our meadow. That's why I have Nessie and Elizabeth. Jacob takes care of us, he takes care of your mistake but I never heal, Edward, I never get better."

"Love, I don't know what's going on with you but what you're thinking is just not possible, what you're remembering, it's just not true. I wouldn't leave you and I can't get you pregnant."

"Not anymore, it's changed. I'm not sure how." Then suddenly I remembered something Jake said to Nessie.

"Time Slipping." I jumped off of Edward's lap and almost wiped out but he caught me.

"Time what?"

"Time Slipping, in my dream, Jake was complaining that Nessie was cheating at hide and seek because she was time slipping. She said it wasn't cheating because Elizabeth could read her mind and know when she was coming back."

My heart was going to beat out of my chest. I put my hand on my stomach.

"Nessie, Nessie must be time slipping me. She didn't like that I killed myself. She sent me back to change it."

Edward was looking at me as if I was crazy.

"Edward, I need to see Carlisle right now."

That was something he agreed with. He hopped out the window first and I dropped down into his arms and then he took off running to his house. Carlisle was in his office and I knocked lightly. He opened with a smile and I told Edward to wait outside. I knew Edward would listen in but I didn't want the rest of the house to know. I picked up a pen and a note pad and quickly wrote. 'I need a pregnancy test.' He gave me a concerned smile and pulled one out of his desk. I must have looked surprised. 'Alice,' he mouthed.

I just laughed. Of course.

I used Edward's bathroom, pacing back and forth. The second hand on the clock finally made its last round. I looked down and sure enough, I was pregnant. I went to find Carlisle, telling him my news.

"Carlisle, can you do a test to see how far along I am?"

I was pretty sure of my theory but I needed another test to be sure. He just smiled and motioned for me to follow him. We went down into the basement where there was an ultrasound machine. He fired it up and patted the table next to it. I climbed up and lay back, pulling up my shirt and adjusting my pants down so Carlisle could squirt some blue goop on my abdomen. He was quiet the whole time while he ran the wand over my tummy, but broke into a grin suddenly.

Carlisle had found the little culprit.

"Ah, here we are, you look to be about sixteen weeks along here, Bella, with twins."

I let out a sigh and shook my head.

"That's what I thought. Little stinker."

"Um, Bella, you want to let the rest of us in on what's going on?" Carlisle said confused.

"It's Nessie."

"Nessie?"

"Yup," I pointed to the screen with the baby on it. "They're Edward's."

"Bella, you are aware that vampires can't reproduce, right? If he's upset, I would think he has every right to be given that fact." I quickly informed Carlisle that the only person I had been with was Edward and that it was indeed his. 'Well then, I would imagine you and Edward have something to discuss. Where is he anyway?"

Edward had seen the test and went for a run. He was upset.

"He doesn't think it's his," I told Carlisle as I pulled down my shirt. "It makes sense for him to be upset. He doesn't understand what's actually going on."

Carlisle cleared his throat as if he was about to say something but I stopped him.

"Let me try to explain. I'm from another time, hard to believe I know, but I couldn't figure out how I got here. I can remember things from as far ahead as 2028, right? That's when I jumped off the cliff to kill myself. Apparently, Nessie here didn't like that ending. So instead of being dead she moved me back in time so I can fix things. Of course now Edward thinks I am pregnant with someone else's baby, which didn't help anything!" I yelled the last part at my stomach.

"I think she's been slipping me back and forth. I've seen a few other futures. I think she's trying to find one she likes. Picky little monster."

Carlisle looked completely lost.

"I just remembered that Nessie has a sometimes very annoying little gift. I couldn't remember it before but then this last time, I remembered that she can time slip, her sister, Elizabeth, reads minds like her daddy, our son, Anthony is a shield and his twin, Masen, teleports. They're all Edward's kids, and they're adorable."

"Um, I'm sure they are," Carlisle said a little confused and not really believing me.

"Carlisle, Nessie here, her name is actually Renesmee Cullen. Renesmee is Renee and Esme put together. Jake calls her Nessie, everyone does but he started it. He said it was too much name for such a little baby."

"Jake?"

"Believe me, long story. We'll get to it later. Just make sure Edward finds me. He has to come back, okay? I'm sure once I'm gone, the regular Bella will be back and be completely clueless to everything, but it's critically important that Edward not ever leave her. He can't leave her. It doesn't end well."

He looked confused.

"Let me just see if I can get her to send me back to the right time." I hopped off the table and yelled down at my belly. "Renesmee Cullen, you put Mommy back in her time right now!"

I was suddenly standing alone in the forest. I knew she had done it. She had put me back. I just wasn't sure when. I looked around and saw I was in the meadow and there was a blanket spread out in the distance but I was alone.

**EPOV**

When Bella woke up and started talking about children my heart broke. I couldn't steal this soul, she wanted a family, something I couldn't give her and for some reason she was hell bent on believing I could give her that to the point of insisting we talk to Carlisle. There was obviously something wrong with her.

I took her to my father and watched through his eyes as she nervously asked for a pregnancy test. This broke my heart. It would be negative for sure. She wasn't pregnant and even if it was possible, we had only had relations the night before. There was no way a test would come back positive, and if it did, it wasn't mine. I didn't know if I could handle that. She tried to convince me this Jake was nothing more than a friend but the way she jumped on his bed, completely at ease as if she had done it a thousand times before made me wonder. I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts.

She came out of my bathroom and then headed back down the hall to Carlisle's office. I walked slowly into the bathroom. I didn't want to look. I was afraid of what it might say. Then I heard her voice. She was asking if he could tell how far along she was. At that I rushed to the test. It was positive. How could that be? That couldn't be right. My chest ached; my dead heart felt like it was trying to kill me. I listened as they went down the stairs to the basement. I knew Carlisle was going to do an ultrasound.

Sixteen weeks! She was sixteen weeks along; she didn't even know me then. I heard all the mental gasps as they listened to Bella talking to Carlisle. I couldn't stand it, stand the lies. I ran. I was gone. I couldn't stay here. I couldn't believe she had done that to me. I couldn't believe I had let it happen to me. I sat alone on the snowy summit, annoyed I ever bothered to leave in the first place. My phone was ringing but I was not going to answer it, not this time. I wasn't going to get roped into it again this time.

**A/N: Okay, it seems a little unrealistic to have twins twice even, but I need the kids and each of their powers for later on. So please forgive the child cramming. I did have it as four separate pregnancies originally but that was just annoying. I thought about having fewer kids but in the end I needed all four. Darn those meddling kids!**

**So, mystery solved; we know now how and why Bella is time traveling, but Edward is pissed and the other Bella will be back from limbo with no clue about anything. Really, the next few chapters are some of my favorite as young Bella learns about vampires and wolves, and Edward figures out that Bella really was pregnant with his little monsters. Thanks for reading. Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10 Sleeping Beauty

**All Characters are Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter 10 - Sleeping Beauty**

**APOV**

Bella was gone. We all saw her go into the basement with Carlisle but she just disappeared. We all listened as she yelled at the baby in her tummy and apparently her baby was obedient because she suddenly just…vanished. Carlisle was stunned, we all were. If things went as Bella said, her and Edward would have a family together. That was just amazing and thrilling. I wanted to start shopping immediately but I needed to make sure I got Edward back to make it happen.

We all tried calling but he wasn't answering. I had a vision of the snowy summit he was pouting on and went through several outcomes trying to find one that would bring him home. I finally found one, though I wasn't pleased with it. I told him to just come back and he could just ignore her. The truth was, he would eventually see that the Bella that would be here was not the same Bella, but he would be a butthead for a while beforehand.

We were all at school on Monday and I was anxious to go talk to Bella, wondering what she remembered if anything. My visions said she would be happy to be my friend but she was shy and quiet. Not like the Bella I had gotten to know. I tried to point that out to Edward but all he did was scowl.

He sat scowling silent though there biology class, stupid idiot. Emmett ran past her house at night and heard her crying to her mom over the phone about it. He didn't like that. We all missed Bella. Emmett beat up Edward, and I was glad for it. I thought maybe going out with someone else would make Edward jealous, but when I suggested dating to Bella she just kind of laughed at me and said no thanks. She didn't want to make waves. I didn't fully understand but then I saw Lauren and Jessica glaring at her when Mike and Tyler started looking in her direction. That was when I remembered Jacob Black. Of course, before I could put my plan into action the vision of Tyler's van hit me and I screamed. Edward looked at me and he saw the vision. Thank god he acted on it.

**EPOV**

I did my best not to get sucked into whatever game they were all playing. Time travel was never a gift anyone had ever heard of. There was no way, but the memories of everyone were quite clear. Bella was gone, but then again she was here. I watched her from a distance, angry that she had hurt me the way she did. I was mad at myself for feeling for her when I should have been staying away from her. I didn't want to get hurt so that meant staying away. She was quiet, she never said a word to me and in class she would let her hair hang between us to hide from my scowl. I watched as boys admired her from afar but she seemed to be trying to avoid them as well.

I watched as she stayed hidden and alone. Even with Alice trying to befriend her, she was shy and quiet and blushed. Damn, that amazing blush that drove me crazy. She did it constantly and I watched her, I watched her trip and fall and stumble over nothing. She was so clumsy but beautiful. They insisted that this was a different Bella and when I listened closely, I did not hear the heartbeat of a baby, but I'd seen the test for myself. I'd heard Carlisle confirm it, sixteen weeks he had said.

I stood by Alice and watched Bella. It seemed like the only thing we came to school for anymore was always to watch Bella. She got out of her truck carefully gripping the side as her feet slid around. She made her way to the back of her truck and that made no sense; school was in the other direction. She stood at the back of her truck and looked down at something, the emotion on her face puzzling, something I didn't understand. And then suddenly Alice screamed.

It took just seconds for her vision to register in my mind and all I could think was, not her. Please, not her. I crashed into her, pushing her out of the way right before the van struck exactly where she had been standing and then it careened around, coming at us again. I pulled her soft warm body against me protectively and her scent assaulted me. I growled for a moment and fought back the monster and focused on the van coming at us. I put my hand up stopping it and it slammed us back into another car, but I kept her safely wrapped in one arm against my chest away from any twisted metal.

The van was not finished with her yet; it twisted again and moved for her legs. I shoved it back, catching it on my shoulder and pulled her legs out of the way before shrugging the van off my shoulder away from us. It finally stopped its assault so I could now turn my attention to her. She had hit her head when I first snatched her out of the way and I worried she was hurt but I did not smell any blood. I thought she would be unconscious but when I looked down at her, she was looking back at me wide eyed, mouth open, and shocked.

I was worried that she was going into shock and was frustrated it took so long for the medics to come but she just stared at me silently. Then finally she stuttered out, "H-how…?" At this point I was sitting as far from her as possible. I had saved her but I still did not want her. She was still the girl that had hurt me. I just growled in response to her question; she knew damn well how. I was not playing her little game. She actually tried to skitter further away when she heard it and I smiled, it was the first time she had ever responded like that to my growl, the first time she had ever seen me as a monster and tried to get away. Before when I'd growled, she always moved closer, as if she wanted it, liked it, craved it, like I craved her and I hated her for it.

Bella's eyes were now darting back and forth between the indentions on the vehicles and me. She looked like she wanted to say something but was scared to, but she finally spoke.

"Are, are you okay?" she pointed to the damage on the cars.

When she asked, she slowly and carefully moved closer. I wanted to snap at her. Yell at her that of course I was okay. Her eyes settled on my shoulder that had saved her legs. I was growling as she approached but still she tentatively came closer. I held perfectly still trying to keep my temper from throwing her away from me and hurt her after I had gone through the trouble of saving her.

"Let me see," she whispered as she approached my shoulder; I didn't move.

I wanted to snap at her with my teeth and I think she knew that but she approached anyway. She carefully fingered the torn materiel of my coat. I felt no pressure at all. If I was hurt I would not have felt pain from her examination. There was concern in her eyes but she seemed pleased when she saw the skin was intact. Her eyes met mine, not flinching like a human's should.

"Are you going to be okay?"

I yanked my torn jacket from my body and threw it into her truck cab, hiding the damage. My sudden movements startled her but did not scare her. Her eyes found me in our tiny prison again.

"I'm fine," I finally snapped.

Just then the van trapping us was moved. Emmett stood with several other large boys. I knew he could have moved it himself but had others help for show. Right behind him was Alice, jumping up and down clapping. I was not in the mood. I shoved past Emmett and ignored Alice. I heard as Emmett spoke softly to Bella, asking if she was okay. I felt her eyes on me. I looked back and glared. This changed nothing, she had to know this did not change the way I felt about her.

Then I heard Emmett whisper, "Are you sure you're okay? He didn't squeeze you to tight, did he?"

I spun around and saw her eyes widen at Emmett's question. She looked back at me and then to him again and then shook her head no. She let him help her to her feet but she swayed and he caught her in his arms. One hand went to her head and the other went to her waist where I had gripped her. She tried to step away but collapsed and Emmett picked her up in his arms.

"I'm okay, really," she protested just as the ambulance drove up and he finally released her onto a stretcher.

"You didn't squeeze her so tight the first time." Alice's words tore me away from Bella's stretcher in the distance.

"What?"

"The first time, she said she just had a bump and was fine."

"What are you talking about, Alice?" She just rolled her eyes.

"I hope she can still have kids. I hope you didn't break anything, you know, inside, when you squeezed her too hard."

My eyes narrowed at her annoyed. But if I was right, if she was the same Bella, then the baby she was pregnant with could be hurt. If she lost the baby I knew it would be devastating for her. I had watched Esme go through torment and if I damaged Bella to the extent that she would never have children then she would be miserable like Rosalie. For some reason, even though I hated her, I did not want her to hate me for saving her, for gripping her too tightly and breaking her. I didn't want her to have the right to hate me. I found myself standing outside my father's office and he met me with a concerned smile. "Her tests will be back momentarily."

I followed him to her room. Apparently, Alice insisted she have her own room because Tyler Crowley, the driver of the van, was going to annoy her. It was dark and silent. My father spoke in a human whisper which I found annoying and somewhat humorous. He shoved the films up on the light board.

"You see here? No major damage."

"And the baby?" I whispered to him, following his suit.

He just shook his head no. "She's not pregnant."

He put up another film of her abdomen.

"Did she loose it? I don't smell blood; she's not hemorrhaging."

"She's not pregnant, Son. Just look, look at the film."

"Damn it, Carlisle, I don't believe you! I saw the test with my own eyes. I heard the words from her own lips. She _is_ pregnant."

There was a slight gasp. I turned too fast for a human. Carlisle kept his composure and turned at a human pace. I glared at her, daring her to deny it, to deny we had been together and she had ripped out my dead heart. I knew what she felt like against my skin and I dared her to deny me with my glare. She pulled her blanket further up her body and her eyes flicked back and forth between Carlisle and me. Her eyes were wide and scared and Carlisle asked me to step out. I did so begrudgingly but stood at the door listening. She was crying. She burst into tears as soon as the door closed.

She finally pulled herself together to stutter out, "I'm not…I've never even... I haven't..."

I was about to burst in but she didn't finish her statement, just cried harder. "I don't know why he hates me so much. I don't even know him! Why would he say something like that about me? I've never even kissed a boy!"

"Don't mind him; he probably just has you mixed up with someone else. My son can be very stubborn sometimes."

I could hear a sudden shift on the bed, as if she might have jumped.

"Your son?"

"Yes, he's my son, though I'm ashamed of the way he's been treating you as of late."

"If he hates me so much, why did he save me? Why didn't he just let me die?" She sobbed harder and then I remembered how mentally unstable Bella could be.

I was suddenly worried she might try and hurt herself again.

"He doesn't hate you, Bella; he's just struggling with himself right now. He'll come around. Now just get some rest, alright?"

I heard the linens rustle again and assumed she was taking his advice. He stepped out into the hallway and I saw the worried look on his face.

"She won't hurt herself will she?"

'_I don't know for sure one way or the other. I think she's okay, but you should stop. You've seen her go over the edge, she may have a tendency we're not aware of, and so you need to stop pushing her, Edward. And stop your damn scowling!_ _She's not the same girl, Son, and her disappearance has just proven her words. It was your child, so stop pouting and find your love.' _He finished scolded me in his mind and left me standing alone outside her door.

I listened to her cry herself to sleep. I was suddenly afraid to lose her, terrified that what I'd done would make me completely lose her to herself. I sat quietly against her door listening to her heartbeat, listening to her breathe. Listening to her exist. The air kicked on in her room and a gust of her scent came to me from under her door. It called to me. Not bloodlust, but longing, to hold her, to bury my face in her hair and to tell her I loved her, to hold her in my arms and tell her that everything was perfect because she existed in my world. I wanted to but that was not my reality.

The scent called and so I reasoned that for now, it could be. I slipped back into her room, her scent swirling around me, causing me to purr as I remembered her in my arms. Her dark locks spread across the pillow. I knew the silk of them personally. Her lips were held tight in a pout, pink and perfect. I wanted to kiss them and make them smile. I needed her and I hated myself for it. It scared me to need someone so much, to need someone so fragile, it was dangerous. I twisted my fingers in her hair as she slept, savoring the feel of it on my hand while I could.

"I'm sorry, Love, I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I'm sorry I'm so scared to love you, I'm sorry I hate myself for loving you. Please, Love, please forgive me," I whispered to her and continued to whisper to her as she slept.

She slept restlessly, and at one point rolled into the hand that was in her hair. Her arms wrapped around it and pulled me to her, snuggling in tight. "Edward," she whimpered. I thought she might have awakened, but she was still sleeping. I savored the chance to hold her in my arms if only for a moment, only in her dreams, but I savored the heat of her body against mine as I pressed against her. She seemed to relax into me and slept deeper. It was as if her subconscious mind already knew that she loved me even if this Bella wasn't aware of it yet.

**A/N: I know this one was short but the next chapter will be up soon. I am just editing it. It has a naked Jake in it. The whole chapter is pretty funny. I enjoyed writing it.**


	11. Chapter 11 Play nice!

**All Character are Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter 11- Play Nice!**

**EPOV**

I was so lost in holding her I didn't hear him coming. The door to her room flung open and he called to her.

"Bells! How's my girl?"

She jumped awake, taking in Jacob's large russet form and suddenly noticed me and quickly started to scoot away. Her heart was pounding panicked. I quickly moved off the bed and stood across the room. I was not leaving her with a young werewolf, especially if she had no idea what he was and that she should not upset him.

"I see you'll sleep with just about anybody. I still don't know how you can stand that vampire smell."

Her eyes darted back and forth between us, her mouth open and closed several times but I was sure she didn't know what to say. When Jacob mentioned vampire smell, I snapped at him.

"Shut up, she doesn't know."

"What? How hard did you hit your head, Bells? I came as soon as I heard." He crossed the room and sat on the bed and brushed her hair back. She pulled away from him cowering on the edge of the bed and I realized she didn't know who he was.

"Bella, this is Jacob Black, Billy Black's son, he's a friend of your father." Jacob looked over at me confused.

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I'm fine!" she finally snapped.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked.

I just shook my head. "She doesn't remember us," I tried to whisper but my annoyance with him made it to loud. He looked to her and then to me.

"So, she doesn't know that I…you know..." he made an exploding motion with his arms and said, "Go all hairy, or you…you know…" he grabbed his neck and made a sucking face but with his front teeth sticking out.

"I'm not a damn beaver."

He laughed, "If you were, it wouldn't bother me so much that you were dating her."

She gasped and then said, "What? What are you talking about? I'm not…we're not..."

She couldn't seem to finish her sentences today. She just started shaking her head. I grabbed Jacob roughly by the arm.

"I told you, she doesn't know, she can't remember." I looked back at her.

"Why not?" Jacob asked confused.

"She's not the same girl, okay. She's not the girl we knew."

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, the girl we knew, she knew stuff, right, about everything, even before we knew it."

Jacob looked over at her wide eyed and then back to me. "Yeah?"

"Well, she left, she went back to where she came from and now we have this one and she doesn't know anything."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

I rolled my eyes. "Bella, did you know that Jacob here changes into a wolf?"

She looked at us as if we were nuts.

Jacob was annoyed with me and said. "Hey, man, that's not cool. If she didn't know, why did you tell her?"

"Turnabout is fair play. You come strolling in here telling her you don't know how she stands my vampire smell. You tell her I'm a vampire, I tell her you're a wolf; we're even now and this way she knows to stay away from your volatile ass."

"Hey, what did I ever do to you?" he started to shake.

"Jake, settle down or take it outside. I think I just proved my point."

"Why, you pompous ass!"

He burst into a hairy beast in seconds and Bella screamed as the massive form filled most of the room. He had me pinned to the wall and we were snarling at each other when something caught my eye. My focus shifted just for a moment and Jacob noticed as well. Bella was whacking him in the ass for all she was worth with her empty food tray.

"Stop it! Stop it, both of you! Now!"

Jake looked at her surprised and backed away, sitting in dog form across the room and let out a whine.

"He's sorry. We're both sorry," I said.

Her heart was pounding out of her chest. She settled back into her bed breathing hard.

"Are you okay?" I approached her carefully.

She looked back and forth between Jake and me. Then she settled on me, "You're…you're a vampire?"

I nodded yes in response.

"And that's how…that's how you could save me and not get hurt?"

I nodded yes again.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you, Bella, I'm sorry,"

She was distracted by Jake's massive form. "He's a wolf, a big hairy wolf."

I laughed. "Yes, as you can clearly see."

"Why doesn't he change back?"

I looked at the floor and Jacob whimpered.

"He kind of shredded his clothes."

Jacob whimpered again and put his nose on the end of her bed and licked her foot. She kind of laughed but I could still tell she was nervous.

"So, he's naked?"

I smiled. Her heartbeat was slowing down; she wasn't freaking out as much as I thought she would.

"Yes, if he changed back to human form he would be naked."

'_She didn't mind me naked before.' _

I hissed at him, "She would mind now. Don't you dare!"

She looked at me confused. "Are you guys talking to each other?"

I glared at Jacob. "Yes, and yes she would mind and you know it, so don't."

"I would mind what?"

"If he changed back to human form. He would be naked."

To my surprise, she grabbed her blanket off the bed and threw it over his back. He licked her foot again and she laughed.

"Jacob, stop it! That tickles."

He made an odd barky chuckle sound and slowly changed back to himself, laughing like a man.

"Thanks, Bells,"

A large smile spread across Jacob's face as Bella took in his form. He wrapped the blanket around his waist leaving his chest bare for her to apparently ogle, which I really, really did not like so I stepped in front of him, which he found humorous.

"What's the matter, Edward? Can't handle a little competition?"

At this Bella blushed deeply and my father entered.

He took in the sight. "Hello, Bella. I trust everything is alright?"

She looked at my father curiously and then turned to me. "Is he…too?"

Carlisle gave me a worried look and I just nodded.

Carlisle spoke, "Bella, I trust you understand the importance of discretion on this subject?"

"Yeah, me, too," Jacob jumped in.

She just nodded. "Do Billy and Charlie know about you, Jacob?"

"Billy does, but not your dad. In fact, other than the vamps and you, there are only a few on the reservation that are privy to the information."

"Why, um, how come I…You seemed to think I already knew about it?"

Jacob scratched the back of his head and looked at me as if I should know the answer.

"Because you were there the first time I changed, Bells. You're the one that settled me back down so I could be human again."

She gasped and shook her head and then looked at Carlisle. "My head. Um, is it bad?"

He gave me a worried look and asked in his mind, _'Should we tell her?'_

I shrugged.

"I'll leave you to talk with Edward and Jacob; hopefully they can clear up any of the misunderstanding that you may have."

**Young Bella's POV**

I sat on the bed still in shock as Dr Cullen slipped out of the room, leaving me with Edward and Jacob. If it weren't for Jacob standing naked with my blanket around his waist, I would believe I was hallucinating. But as I glanced at the floor, sure enough, his clothing lay in shreds, proving what I had witnessed, what they had said was true. I was not hallucinating.

I found Jacob's form distracting. He was massive fully clothed, but standing there naked, wrapped with my blanket which was slung low on his hips now, just showcased the ripples of muscle covering his body. I wasn't normally one to gawk openly at boys, but my god, this man was delicious.

Of course, I was completely humiliated by my gawking as Edward definitely noticed and stepped in front of Jacob trying to get my attention. I couldn't believe I did that. I was blushing so hard I was sure it reached my toes and Jacob didn't help with his comment about being the competition. He obviously didn't know how much Edward hated me. I had no idea why he was under the impression that I was Edward's girlfriend. Now that I thought about it, it was odd that Edward was still here.

I touched the bed where he had laid down with me earlier and looked up at him. Dr Cullen had left so they could explain something to me but I wasn't sure what it was. I was worried that I had a bad head injury. I didn't seem to remember some very important things but didn't seem worried about it.

Edward cleared his throat nervously and began to speak. "Bella, Love, I should start first by apologizing for my behavior for the past week."

His term of endearment confused me but the pleading look in his eyes made me believe it was sincere.

"You see, I was upset, with you, but not you exactly, it was another you, but she's gone."

I must have looked just as confused as I felt because Jacob chimed in. "She's not getting it, dude."

Edward started pacing back and forth running his hands through his hair. "Okay, just hear me out; let me try to explain this, alright?"

I nodded in agreement.

"Okay, Nessie, she has a gift. Like I have a gift, I can read minds."

I blushed instantly, mortified that he knew what I was thinking with Jacob standing there.

"Don't worry, I can't read yours, you're my one exception," he glared over at Jacob.

I was suddenly very grateful for being a freak.

"So, Nessie, she has a gift. She can do what Bella, or the other Bella called time slipping."

"Cool, my wife can time travel?"

"Your wife?" Edward suddenly looked very aggravated.

"Yeah, Bella said I was married to Nessie and we were going to have a baby."

At that, Edward lunged at Jacob. "There's no way in hell I'm letting my daughter marry a wolf, least of all you!"

Instead of attacking, Jacob just stumbled back, dropping the blanket. "Your what?" He seemed just as shock. It seemed I was not the only one getting news. "What are you talking about?" Jacob asked.

Edward seemed to settle down. "She didn't tell you?"

"No, she wouldn't tell me anything else about her. She said it would be too weird."

Edward started laughing blackly. He got up off the ground and Jacob re-secured the blanket.

"Wait, she's your…no, no, NO! That's just wrong, that's a no!" It seemed Jacob was unable to form coherent sentences anymore and I was still in the dark.

"Well, now I see why she didn't tell you."

I was obviously being left completely out of the loop.

"I'm not marrying my best friend's kid; that's just..." Jacob sat defeated in the corner shaking his head. Edward wasn't talking anymore. They both seemed to be shocked by this revelation that I didn't understand.

"Um, Edward, you want to continue with the story?"

His sad eyes met mine. He shook his head and laughed again. "I can't believe she didn't tell me."

"Tell you what? What are you talking about?"

"Bella, Jacob is going to marry our daughter."

I was shocked, mortified even. What kind of joke was he trying to play on me? This was ridiculous. How could he even? Jacob started laughing from across the room.

"Way to go, Edward. I think you broke her. Why don't you take things a little slower next time?"

"Look, Bella, okay, the other you was from the future, a future where we were together and had a family. Her daughter, our daughter, Nessie, sent her back to fix something and that's where she ran into the two of us. She was here for a while but finally was able to get Nessie to send her back to her own time. Well, I think she's back in her own time, but that's why Jake here thought you knew everything already."

"Is that why you thought I was pregnant?" I asked carefully.

Edward paced nervously, as if he didn't want to tell me something. "Yes, that Bella was pregnant," he finally admitted.

Jacob seemed to perk up. "She was...she didn't…I mean, she never said anything."

"You didn't…" Edward accused

Jacob shook his head no vigorously. "No, no, she just slept in my bed, I swear, fully clothed, and she only ever kissed me innocently, like a friend. Fuck, I marry her daughter?"

He plopped down in the chair again and then looked up. "You didn't…I mean…when she was here, did you?"

Edward didn't answer. I was suddenly embarrassed and terrified at the same time. He had curled up on the bed with me and I wondered if he had done it because it was something he had done with her, or me, or whatever.

"Did we...I mean…when she was here, were you…did you, um…"

I couldn't say it. God, I couldn't even imply it. There was no way I could have done it if I couldn't even imply it. He sat down on my bed and took my hand in his. His scent was intoxicating. His eyes locked on mine and when his cool hand reached my neck and slide up into my hair I thought I was on fire. He leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"I loved you, Bella, I still do, and I always will." He kissed my cheek softly and I thought my heart would explode out of my chest it was pounding so hard. My god, how could I ogle one man one second and then want to kiss another so badly it hurt in another. What was wrong with me?

"You screwed Bella?" Jacob suddenly accused. "Wait, she was pregnant, you didn't… I mean…was that why…?"

Oh, my god, Edward was not denying it; I couldn't get the sheet high enough. I was so embarrassed I felt naked under his gaze; I couldn't hide myself well enough.

"I wasn't going to tell her, Jacob. Now look what you did."

Oh, my god; he was totally admitting to having sex with me.

"She was already pregnant when she came, she was pregnant with Nessie, that's why she was time slipping, we didn't know it at the time. She figured it out later."

I was hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe. Edward was on the bed, his hands on my face with a worried look.

"I haven't…I don't...we haven't…I'm not…we didn't…I can't..." I couldn't get it out. I couldn't say it. I couldn't tell him I was a virgin and he'd better not be expecting anything from me.

"It's alright, Love. I know, it's alright." He wrapped me in his arms and gently rubbed my back, I wanted to pull away, tell him he shouldn't touch me, but it felt so good, so right to be in his arms and I couldn't understand why. I ended up nuzzling deeper into his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my head. "Are you going to be alright, Love?"

I just took a deep breath and he pushed me back and smiled. He wiped a tear from my cheek and kissed my forehead. "That's my girl."

I couldn't help but smirk to myself, laughing at what was going on. The man who hated me was calling me Love, telling me he loved me and kissing me to comfort me. This was all insane; they were all insane.

"You've had a busy day, why don't you get some rest?"

Just then my friend, Alice, popped into my room carrying a bag.

"Bella!" She was just beaming and excited. She threw the bag at Jacob. "Put something on," she said and started dancing over to the bed.

"I thought you couldn't see wolves," Jacob said a little annoyed.

"I can't. I called Carlisle when Edward and Bella disappeared and he told me you were here and in need of some clothes."

"Oh, um, thanks."

"Can't see wolves?" I asked. Alice smiled and looked at Edward.

"She knows. You might as well tell her."

Alice jumped on the bed and hugged me. "Oh, I'm so glad, I've been dying to tell you since you left."

"I left?"

"The other Bella knew."

"Oh, you met her, too?"

"Of course, she was my best friend ever and she knew all about me being a vampire and seeing the future. She's the one that told me I couldn't see the wolves."

"Oh, um, okay." Really, what do you say to that? "So, you're one, too?" was all I could come up with. She just nodded vigorously. "Are all the rest, I mean, in your family?"

"Yup!" she said with a smile. Like it was totally normal for them to be vampires, but I supposed that to them, it was totally normal.

"How's your head?" She brushed the hair from my cheek.

"Fine, I think, or I could be completely crazy and hallucinating that Jacob over there, whom I have never met, is actually my friend and a wolf and Edward, who hates me, is really in love with me. Not to mention that he and his whole family are vampires. I mean really, that really is hallucination material, except I don't think I'm that creative." I looked at my dinner tray that was slightly dented from my beating Jacob; I would swear he didn't even feel that.

"Maybe you boys should go. It sounds like we need some girl time." Alice kicked the boys out and gave me a worried look. She picked up a scrap of Jacob's clothes and shook her head and then dropped it in the trash. "Boys, they're so stupid sometimes. I can't believe they just threw it at you like this all at once."

I just laughed at my insanity and myself. "Am I crazy, Alice? Really, I mean, am I?"

She pouted and then sat down next to me. "No, I'm afraid not, and if my brother wasn't such a stubborn idiot, it wouldn't have had to play out like this. You would have figured it out gradually on your own."

I didn't know what to say to that. I was still pretty lost and speechless about the whole thing, but maybe she could give me some insight on her brother and tell me if he was just messing with me.

"Alice, um, did Edward and I…are Edward and I really together?"

"Well, you were, but the fool lost his temper when he found out you were pregnant. The idiot thought it was Jacob's."

Well, that explained that part of their conversation.

"Alice, I haven't…I've never..."

She smirked and laughed a little. "I know, Bella, so does Edward."

That was so not true because according to Edward we had. "He thinks…he says…"

She shook her head and patted my hand. "Don't worry, Bella, he knows it was the other Bella. He knows you're not her."

Now I really felt crazy, I almost felt jealous of myself, which was ridiculous.

"He won't pressure you into anything, I promise. Honestly, I'm amazed she broke him so fast. Must be part of that future knowledge she had. You know, knowing what buttons to push on Edward because honestly, she was his first. He was a one hundred five year old virgin. I think we all were a little amazed."

Oh, God, if I could hide, I would have. Apparently, in the future I was a complete slut that sleeps with Jacob and screws Edward. I just started to cry.

"Oh, honey, come here." She snuggled next to me and pulled me to her and let me cry. I hated that I was crying, that I was weak, but I was thankful that Alice was here to help me through this insanity.

"Alice, was I really a slut?" She pulled back suddenly and then looked at my face.

"Oh, no, Bella, definitely not, heavens no! Is that what you think?"

"Well, if I was, you know, with Edward and spending the night with Jacob..."

"Well, I don't know what you were doing with Jacob, but I'm sure that as much as you loved Edward, nothing happened with him."

"He said I spent the night, actually slept in his bed, I mean, fully clothed but, I mean, in his ROOM…"

She laughed at me. "Oh, Bella, you just love them both, that's all. Jacob is a good friend that helped you through a very hard time. So yes, you were close. When you lost it, he picked up the pieces."

"Lost it? Why?"

She frowned a little. "It doesn't matter, Bella; that was in a different future. Now you get to make it whatever you would like."

"So, I was with Jacob? Then where was Edward?"

She frowned again and let out a sigh. "Don't worry about it. Like I said, it was a different future that doesn't even exist anymore. Why don't you get some rest? I'll stay with you if that makes you feel better."

I was used to sleeping alone, but I didn't want the boys to come back and think they could join me so having Alice stay sounded like a good Idea.

"Thanks, Alice." I snuggled back down into her and dozed off.

Charlie woke me gently; when I opened my eyes I realized my room was full. Jake was stretched out by the window snoring loudly and Edward was curled in a chair close by deep in a silent sleep. Alice didn't budge when I shift and smiled at my dad.

"Hey, looks like you have quite a vigil," he motioned to the boys. If he only knew...

I just shook my head.

"I know Jake here. I'm surprised he's up and around after that dirt bike accident."

I looked at him confused, my eyes looking at Jacob's form, wondering if he was hurt, his naked form the day before seemed perfect. I blushed remembering it.

"I guess he owes you after you spent so much time out there, right?" Charlie nudged my shoulder and continued. "Billy said he really liked having you out there. You haven't been in a while."

"Um, yeah, school has just been really busy."

Apparently, the other Bella spent a lot of time out there with Jake.

"Yeah, well, I don't mind you hanging out with Jake. He's a good kid. Who's that one over there?" he motioned to Edward, but Alice woke up stretching and yawning and smiled at Charlie.

"Hello, Chief Swan."

"Morning," my dad replied.

"This is Alice, Dad; she's a friend from school."

"Oh, yeah, she's called a couple of times, trying to get you to go out with her. Keep on it, Alice, I know she's a bit of a recluse, she gets that from me, but I can tell you're breaking her down." They shared a knowing look and I just shook my head. "Doc says you're okay to come home, sweetie, you ready? I think you could probably use another day of rest. Will you be alright to head back to school tomorrow?"

"I'm fine, Dad. I could head back today. I don't want to fall behind."

"I can get your assignments, Bella," Alice chimed in.

"Great. Come on, kiddo. Shall we rouse the fans?"

I blushed hard. "Dad," I said annoyed.

He walked over and nudged Jake but he didn't budge, he just continued to snore loudly and Charlie just chuckled. "Boy's in deep."

Alice got up and woke Edward and ushered him to the door.

"We'll see you later, Bella," Alice said as she pushed Edward out the door.

"Yeah, see you later, Alice."

I slid off the bed and stood next to Charlie, looking down at Jacob sprawled across the floor with the blanket I gave him to cover himself yesterday.

"I'm going to go handle the paperwork. Do you think you can handle him?"

I looked at the massive form on the ground and fought back a blush. "Sure, Dad. I'll get him up."

He walked out leaving me with Jacob.

I squatted down next to his face and patted his cheek lightly. "Jacob, Jacob, wake up," I called to him and then I remembered the dinner tray that I had beat him with and he didn't even notice. There was no way I was going to be able to wake him. Suddenly his huge arm reached out hooking me, and knocking me into his chest and he pulled me tightly against him. He snuggled down into me and I felt his face nuzzle into my hair. I was trying not to hyperventilate but it wasn't working.

"Jacob," I tried to say but I couldn't catch my breath; it came out as a whisper.

To my surprise, Edward burst into the room, effectively scaring me half to death. He looked ready to attack.

"Are you alright?" he asked and I shook my head no.

He pulled me from Jacob's grip and set me on the bed with ease.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, no, I was just trying to wake him and he grabbed me. I, I just didn't expect that."

"I'll wake him," he grinned.

Edward walked over to Jacob and to my surprise he let out a sound that resembled the roar of a mountain lion. Jacob jumped immediately to his feet and looked like he was about to wolf out when he saw Edward walking away from him back over to my side.

"What the hell was that for?"

"It's time to get up."

I could hear a low rumble come from Jacob's chest. I sounded as if he was growling; I had to defuse this before it got bad again.

"Sorry, Jacob, but Charlie and I tried to wake you up. You just wouldn't budge."

"You effectively had her in a vice grip when I came in," Edward frowned. "Honestly, how did you sleep with this man? He snores like a bear with a sinus problem."

"Hey."

"You guys stop it right now!" I slipped off the bed and headed for the door. "Play nice!"

I looked at them pointedly and wondered how the other Bella handled dealing with such babies. "I need to get dressed and I'm going home. You guys need to get to school. Now out!"

Ugh, boys!

**A/N: Hot kiss next chapter, because how else can Edward prove he's safe? There are some hot lemons coming up in a few chapters, much better than the first one in this story. I personally think they're more entertaining. Hope you enjoy, please review!**


	12. Chapter 12 perfectly safe

**All characters are Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter 12 – Perfectly Safe**

**Young Bella POV**

I was stretched across my bed working on my homework that Alice had delivered after school. I was almost done and took a break to get ready for bed. I decided to wear some shorts and a tank top to bed because for some reason Charlie had cranked up the heat. It was as if he thought I slept with my window open or something. I was just getting settled back into my English assignment when I heard a light tapping. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. I was looking under the far side of the bed when I felt a cool rush of air and a velvet voice spoke my name.

"Bella."

I swung up too fast, looking in the direction of my window and lost my balance, falling off the bed. Edward was instantly at my side helping me up off the floor.

"Sorry, Love. I didn't mean to startle you. I tapped but you didn't answer."

I was still in shock that he was standing in my room. Another cool breeze came into the room and I suddenly felt very underdressed. He was so totally going to notice I was not wearing a bra. He had not released me and was smiling down at me.

"Are you okay?" His hand pushed the hair off my forehead and felt the bump. I winced a little but his cool hand was soothing. His worried eyes found mine, waiting for an answer. I snapped out of the trance he had me in and wondered if that was a vampire thing or if I was just really that pitiful.

"I'm fine," I said stepping away from him trying to put some space between us. I thought about closing the window; I was getting cold but I didn't want him to think I wanted him to stay, either. I definitely wanted to avoid the bed. There was no way I was getting anywhere near the bed with him in the room. I leaned against my dresser and crossed my arms trying to hide my chest and find some warmth. Another breeze came through the room and I couldn't help but shiver.

"You're cold, Love. Here let me." He pulled the blanket from my bed and wrapped it around me before I could protest. I was glad for the cover, though, not only for the heat but I did feel kind of naked in front of him. Finally comfortable enough to talk, I worked up the nerve to ask him what he was doing in my room. He gave me a shy smile.

"I was just coming to see how you are."

"Then why not use the front door?"

He gave me a sad look. "I'm sorry. The other Bella told me to use the window."

"Are you serious? Was she nuts or something?"

He let out a little chuckle. "Actually, I believe she was," he shrugged, "But I loved her just the same."

"Great. Apparently in the future I'm nuts and don't believe in using doors."

He moved to the rocking chair and sat down and invited me to sit on the bed.

"You still believed in using doors, you just asked me to visit you at night using the window. You used to leave it open for me."

Well, that explained Charlie cranking the heat.

"Well, I don't know what she did with you at night when you came through the window, but I'm not her and I'm not doing it."

He laughed a little and I blushed. "Bella, why do you think I'm here?"

I shrugged trying to avoid making a bigger fool of myself.

"Bella, the most you ever did in this room with me is kiss me goodbye. I know you're not her. I don't expect any kisses, but I do enjoy your company and you used to find my presences soothing. It helped you sleep."

"What? Sleep? Did you…I mean, you didn't, you know, stay?"

He flashed his beautiful smile and I was lost for a moment. "Of course, Love. I would wrap you up in your blanket and hold you while you slept. It was very…" he paused for a moment and then finished, "Pleasant."

How did you respond to that? "So what, you would just sleep with her in her bed?"

He laughed a little. "No, I don't sleep."

"You don't sleep?"

He just shook his head. "Nope."

"Ever?"

"Not ever."

"So what, you just sat all night, awake, watching her sleep?"

"Yes, it's quite entertaining; you talk in your sleep you know."

I shifted uncomfortably, I knew I talked in my sleep but I didn't think I liked that he knew that.

"What did I used to say?"

He smiled kindly. "You used to ask me to stay."

"So, um, future Bella was really hooked on you then?"

He laughed. "Yes, I suppose so."

"Do you miss her?" I asked, suddenly sad that he might miss someone I could maybe never be.

He shrugged. "Well, I do and I don't. I do because she was, well, she liked me much more than you do, but she was hurt, too, dealing with a lot of baggage from the future. She was sad and would cry at night. I felt bad and wanted to fix it but I didn't know how."

"Why did she cry?"

He seemed to get nervous and then seemed to dismiss the question. "Whatever it was, it's not going to happen, so don't worry about it."

"But how can you be sure?"

"Because she said it changed and I shouldn't worry about it."

"It changed?"

"Yes, before she left she started remembering a different future than the one she had lived. She never really told me the details of it, Bella. She may have spoken more to Alice about it, but she really didn't like discussing it."

Well, that sounded like me. I just accepted his answer. Then I suddenly realized something. If he didn't sleep, what was he doing at the hospital?

"Weren't you sleeping at the hospital?"

He just shook his head with a distracting smile on his lips. Maybe if I focused on the floor I wouldn't feel all fluttery inside.

"No, Love. I just faked it so I wouldn't have to talk to your father. I figured we would be introduced another time."

I suddenly remembered him in my hospital bed.

"What were you doing in my bed?"

He looked like a kid caught red handed in the cookie jar.

"I was just watching you and playing with your hair when you kind of grabbed me. I didn't want to wake you, so I kind of let you pull me to you. I'm sorry, Love; I didn't mean to offend you. I planned on disappearing before you woke up but Jake came bursting in unexpectedly."

He was just going to play with my hair while I slept and then sneak out?

"So, you were going to mess with me in my sleep and then sneak out so I wouldn't know?"

He got a pained look on his face. "Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad."

How could he not see this _was_ bad? "Edward, people don't go around climbing into stranger's beds. Or windows for that matter. That's not normal behavior."

"I'm sorry, Bella, I don't feel like you're a stranger, but I know I am to you." He laughed a little. "I guess the tables have turned. You used to be the one that knew me too well and I was the one left in the dark, and now it seems I know you and you're the one left in the dark. I'm sorry, that can be a strange and confusing state."

He looked sincere in his statement and I was starting to feel more comfortable talking with him. He didn't seem to be trying to make any moves on me or do anything so I settled back into my bed and rested against my headboard.

"So, um, tell me about this Bella you miss so much."

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He laughed a little and then started. "Well, she seemed to know everything, and from the first day I met her, she was surprising. She whispered across a noisy room to me, told me to hold my breath while she approached. I don't know why but I did what she said until I suddenly realized she knew about my hearing and then my curiosity got the better of me and I took a sniff to see if she smelled like someone familiar."

I was listening intently, trying to comprehend what he was saying. He heard her whisper across a noisy room and sniffed her? That would mean he obviously had super hearing and super smell. I'd better make sure I never missed a shower. I continued listening to him. "Of course she knew she was my singer. That little sniff set me off but she knew just what to do. She sent me out of the room with a disappointed look, not a drop of fear and made sure to mention my father, whom she knows I never want to disappoint. I was able to pull myself together enough to not kill her."

KILL HER? LIKE KILL…ME?

"Wait, did you say kill me?"

He scrubbed his face with his hands and then paced for a minute. "A singer for a vampire is…well…your blood sings to me, it's intoxicating, addictive really." He inhaled deeply. "It's the most desirable above all others. How do I explain this? It's like getting a choice between steak, hamburger and tofu. I primarily live off of what in the vampire world would be considered tofu by drinking from animals. Humans to me are like ground beef, not that hard to pass up anymore. But you, my dear, are a savory steak. But even that isn't an accurate enough description; it's much more intense than that. Your blood calls to the monster in me, almost obsessively. If I were to have caught you alone that first day, I would have killed you." I sat stunned, my mouth hanging open. Did he still want to kill me?

"Do you still want to…?" Before I could finish my words he hurried to my side and took my hands in his.

"No, no, Love, I don't. No, the other Bella knew how to handle it. She got me all desensitized obviously. I mean, if I could kiss her, let her get that close to my teeth and not bite her, it obviously isn't an issue anymore."

I was still nervous. How did I know he wasn't just making this up so he could eat me? His cool hands still held mine in his. The gesture was meant to be comforting but the feel of his cold hands just reminded me of what he was. For some reason it didn't really scare me, but his touch sent a strange tingle throughout my body.

"How can I be sure? How do I know that you're not making this up?" He got a sad pouty look on his face and looked at the floor. Then his head popped up.

"Okay, I don't mean to offend you when I say this, but you know Bella and I were intimate, right?"

I think he was embarrassed; he wasn't blushing but it looked like he should be.

"So you say."

He smiled. "Well, I had to have had some semblance of control to be that close with her, right? You have a heart shaped mole high on the inside of your right thigh."

My eyes went wide. Was he really saying this to my face? I blushed ten shades of red. I couldn't believe it.

"Would you like me to turn around so you can check?"

He was instantly off the bed with his back turned before I could answer. Well, I might as well check. I flipped the blanket off my legs and glanced down. I realized my short little night shorts had exposed said mole. He could have seen it when I was leaning against the dresser before he wrapped me in the blanket. I covered myself back up.

"Well, that doesn't count; you could have seen it in these short."

He turned around pouting again. God, why did he have to be so appealing when he pouted? I wanted to push him away from me, afraid he would hurt me, but part of me was drawn to him and I wanted to pull him to me and hold him until the pout left his face. His golden eyes met mine and I was lost in them before I realized that he had moved back to the bed and was sitting next to me again.

"Bella, Love, would you mind if I proved it to you?"

I was still locked in his eyes; I couldn't find words to answer him and then I saw him look at my lips and my heart started beating faster. His hand slid up my arm to my neck, leaving a trail of icy fire and I thought my heart would explode out of my chest. I had never kissed a boy or ever been kissed and I was almost sure that Edward Cullen was going to kiss me. I was suddenly panting, my body in a trance as I took in a deep breath of his sweet intoxicating scent. I was frozen under his touch. I didn't think I could stop him even if I wanted to but at this moment, as his other hand slid behind me and pulled me to him, I didn't fight him. There was a rush under his touch, an unknown tingle exploding throughout my whole body. He leaned in and nuzzled into my hair. I could hear him breathing it in and for a fleeting moment I thought, _I hope he doesn't kill me_, but I wouldn't stop him if he tried as long as I got to stay in his arms. The thought was almost disturbing enough to shake me out of his trance until I felt his cool breath on my neck and his lips brush against my ear.

"I'm going to kiss you, Love," he whispered and gently kissed next to my ear. He started working his way down my jaw. Holy CROW! It was no wonder the other Bella was so hooked on him and wanted some loving from him. I couldn't control my breathing. I tried but it was impossible and the gasps of his intoxicating scent weren't helping the matter. God, he smelled so damn good. I felt his lips brush gently against mine. My eyes were closing when I felt his tongue lick my lips and I couldn't help it, my eyes popped open in shock and met his smug smirk and then his lips crashed into mine.

My eyes closed on their own accord as I felt like my body was exploding in his hands. My arms wound around him, putting my hands up into his hair, moving on their own. I found myself pulling him down onto me as I lay back on the bed. He kissed me as if he was starving for me and it just made me want him more. He hovered over me, kissing me deeply and then pulled away, letting me catch my breath while he kissed down my cheek and neck. He took in a deep breath and then sat up, moving away from me. He was panting as hard as I was and I was glad I wasn't the only one affected.

"See, Love," he finally said, "Perfectly safe."

I just laid there gaping at him shocked. I wanted to taste him again and involuntarily licked my lips. I still hadn't gotten my breathing under control and he smiled at me.

"I should probably go now," he said moving towards the window. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said with a smile and just stepped out the window. I was suddenly shocked out of my trance and ran to the window to see if he was okay.

I hung out of the window and whispered, "Edward?" He suddenly sprung up and was hanging from the eave of my roof by one hand. I just stood there wide eyed, trying to get my shock under control. He smiled and reached forward brushing my hair back and pulling my face to his again. He gently kissed me on the forehead.

"Tomorrow, Love," he said and then let go, dropping down but I didn't hear him land. Suddenly I saw a blurry streak disappear into the forest and I knew that he had left and he was fine.

Damn, he was fine!


	13. Chapter 13 finally getting somewhere

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Chapter 13 - Finally getting somewhere**

**Young Bella POV**

For the next several weeks of school, Edward met me in the parking lot every morning and opened my door for me like a gentleman. He walked me to all of my classes and carried my books, and at the end of the school day he would walk me to my truck and open the door for me and tell me to have a good evening. At night after Charlie was in bed, he would come to my room and we would talk until I would yawn and he would leave, wishing me sweet dreams. He never tried to kiss me again or even hold my hand. It was strange. I was starting to miss him and long for him. It was ridiculous. I barely knew him. My dreams of him were getting vivid and focused on our kissing on my bed. I would wake up flushed and panting. It was unlike anything I ever experienced.

It was Saturday morning and I was still struggling with the after affects of my dream as I dressed when Charlie called up to me.

"Phone, Bells." I hurried down to the kitchen, tripping on the last stair, but it was as if my father had anticipated it and was there to catch me. He just laughed a little and then pointed to the kitchen.

"It's on the table."

"Hello?"

"Hey, Bells, it's Jake, I haven't heard from you since the hospital and I was wondering if you were okay?" Jacob, the wolf was calling me. What had future Bella gotten me into? Vampires and wolves? This was just insane!

"Bells?" I realized I hadn't answered him yet.

"Um, I'm fine, Jake, how are you?"

I heard him let out a hardy laugh. "Well, better now that I know you're still talking to me. You are, right?"

I suppose I was, though I had no idea why. "Yes," I answered not sure what to say.

"Great, so how about you come down to La Push with your dad? He'll be coming to hang out will Billy and you and I can make mud pies like just like good ole times."

"Mud pies?" I heard Charlie laughing from the hall. Was he listening in?

"Yeah, Bells, your dad used to bring you to visit when we were little kids and we would make mud pies. Unless you would like to make some other kind of pie? I know you enjoy cooking."

He did? How did he know that? Of course, probably the other Bella.

"So, you coming out?"

Well, I might as well. "Sure, Jake. Um, why not?"

"Great, Bells! I can't wait to see you. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone a little dazed and turned to Charlie; he had a huge grin on his face.

"So, you coming?" He held out my jacket to me and when I nodded yes and took it from him, his grin got even bigger.

"You mind if I follow in my truck?" I didn't want to be stuck there if I was bored out of my mind.

"Good idea, Bells, then you and Jake can go down to the beach."

"Isn't it kind of cold for the beach?"

Charlie just laughed. "Not to swim, silly, whale watching."

"Whales?"

He put on his coat and opened the door for me. "Whales," he said with a smile and walked me to my truck.

We arrived at a small red house with an out building made up of two sheds. When I pulled up, Jake's massive form came flying off the porch and opened the door before I had a chance. He pulled me out of the truck into a crushing hug.

"Jake, need to breathe," I squeaked and he released me with a shy grin.

"Sorry about that." He kissed the top of my head.

I looked to see if Charlie had seen the exchange but he was already in the house.

"So, Mud Pies?" he said with a smile.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Um, maybe we could do something else. Charlie said something about the beach and whale watching."

Jake suddenly got very uncomfortable.

"Is everything okay?"

"I, I don't think you should go to the beach, Bella." He turned away from me and headed towards the out building. Okay, that was weird. I followed after him and stood just outside of the outbuilding looking in as he started to collect tools.

"Why not the beach?"

He just shook his head.

"Jake!" I was getting annoyed.

"Look, I don't want to take you to the beach, okay!"

I noticed he was shaking just like he did before he changed in the hospital. I knew I shouldn't push him and so I just plopped down on an upside down bucket and pouted.

"Ah, geez, Bells, I didn't mean to upset you. I just kind of feel responsible for what happened on the beach. I mean, I'm the one that showed you." He stopped what he was saying and looked away.

"What happened, Jake?"

He looked at me with sad eyes and shook his head. "It's not important. I mean, I'm not going to let it happen."

He walked over and took my arm and ran his finger down the inside of my forearm. It was hot, but for some reason it made me shiver and he smiled at my reaction, I just blushed in response and pulled my arm away.

"So, how are things with you and Cullen? He hasn't tried anything with you has he?" he asked in an overprotective tone.

"No, Jake, he hasn't and I have to say it's kind of frustrating."

Jake looked at me surprised. "Frustrating?"

I was suddenly very embarrassed.

"You want to..." He made crude gesture and I turned such a deep shade a red I thought I was on fire. I shook my head adamantly no. "Oh, well that's good. You're a bit young for that anyway. Why is he frustrating you?"

"He, um, geez, now that I think about it, it sounds so stupid."

"What is it, Bells?"

"He won't hold my hand."

Jake's smile got huge. "Really?" he said rather pleased and I shoved him annoyed but he didn't budge. He started laughing. "That's great, Bells, just great, I love it." I didn't know why the future me was friends with him because I was finding him annoying. I got up and started to storm out but he grabbed my arm and pulled me up into his arms. "Ah, Bells, don't be mad. I'm just relieved, that's all. I mean, you and him, it kind of creeps me out. I know how much you need him, but geez, I really rather not think about what's going to happen."

"What's going to happen?"

"Yeah, you know, you and he have a kid, and you know what has to happen for that to happen."

I turned a deep shade of red again; I swore he had me setting a record for most blushes. "That's not going to happen."

Jake just laughed, "If you say so."

This other Bella was insane. I couldn't believe what she was getting me into. I turned and looked at Jake and he had a wistfully sad smile on his face.

"Jake." He looked at me and forced a smile. "You okay?"

"Sure, sure, I'm fine, what do you want to do?"

"Well, what did we used to do?" I asked.

It was his turn to blush and I almost didn't want to know. "Um, you said we road bikes and went to the beach."

"Well, you said the beach is out and I don't know how to ride a bike."

He laughed a little. "We haven't even gotten the bikes yet."

"Well, um, when she was here, what did you do?"

"We, ah, lay in bed most of the time, just talked and slept."

My heart beat out of my chest. I hoped he didn't think I was going to do the same.

He just smiled at me. "Does the idea of me in bed excite you, Bells?" I turned a deep shade of red again and he laughed. "You're so much more different than her."

I suddenly felt like he had insulted me.

He gently touched my face. "Hey, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I mean, sure, I liked having her around; it was nice that she knew about me wolfing out and could calm me back down. If it wasn't for her, I doubt I would be able to interact with people right now."

I looked up at him surprised. "What?"

"She was there the first time I wolfed out. She didn't even flinch. God, she was either brave or insane and I think it might have been a little of both." He laughed at the memory. "She walked up to me wearing nothing but a towel and talked me down while she petted my face. God, she was hilarious, she whacked my naked butt and laughed at me for hiding my 'junk', as she put it." His eyes were smiling and he laughed lightly; it was a good memory for him but I was trying to hide my mortification. I was naked, just wearing a towel and whacked a naked man's butt; that was so not me. There was no way I could be that Bella.

"So, um, why is it good that I'm different?"

He ran his finger down my forearm again for the second time and I wondered what it was about.

"You're not hurt."

"Hurt?" I looked at my arm. "Did I hurt myself? If that was the case, I hate to break it to you but I'm just as clumsy as she was."

He smiled and shook his head. "She wasn't all that clumsy."

"Well, that's one good thing I have to look forward to in the future."

He let out a belly laugh. "You have a lot of good things to look forward to in the future, okay? Just remember that." He suddenly got very serious. "Just remember, there are a lot of people that love you, Bells." He was talking as if I'd tried to kill myself or something.

"What are you talking about, Jake? It's not like I'm going to kill myself or anything."

He flinched at my words and suddenly things started to make sense. Edward said I had a lot of baggage. He and Jake both said I was crazy.

"I don't, do I?"

"Hey, it's changed, right? So you won't."

"I killed myself? What am I, some kind of doppelganger? A clone?"

"No, silly. Don't be ridiculous."

"Oh, yes, because it makes so much more sense for me to be pregnant with a vampire's baby who will grow up to marry a wolf. That's perfectly sane. God, sometimes I still wonder if I'm hallucinating."

His eyes looked worried.

"What? Did this other used to hallucinate or something?"

"Um, not really while she was here, she was just confused. Apparently in the future, she had problems with it but I would help her through it." He was nervously scratching the back of his neck; I just sat stunned with my mouth open. "I don't age, Bella, so when she woke up with me, she forget she was back in time. She thought was hallucinating again, but she wasn't."

"Why, why was I so messed up in the future? Why would I go crazy, have hallucinations and kill myself? What happens to me, Jake?"

He looked nervous and shook his head. "It's not going to happen. I'll track him down and kill him myself if it does."

Him? Who was he talking about? Who was going to hurt me so badly that it completely destroys me?

"Him who, Jake?" It looked like he was debating something and then finally he answered me.

"Edward."

"Edward? I thought you were married to our daughter?"

He rubbed his face and paced a moment. "Um, yeah, I was."

"So what? He gets me pregnant and then leaves me?"

He looked up at me worried. I was suddenly steaming, furiously mad as hell; I couldn't believe Edward would be such an ass. "I can't believe him, Mr. Perfect Gentleman with the panty melting kiss. One hundred five year old virgin my ass. I can't believe him!"

Jake was suddenly laughing, "He was a virgin at one hundred five?"

"Oh, shut up, Jake! I don't know what to believe anymore, but that's what Alice said." He didn't stop with his giggling. Stupid immature wolf. I shoved him again and this time he stumbled back and put a big dent in the side of the shed. He didn't stop laughing; he just slid down the wall and kept laughing. I stormed out of the shed and headed for my truck, angry tears streaming down my face. I was caught up in Jacob's arms before I could get my door open.

"Ah, Bells, I'm sorry, if it's any consolation, I'm pretty sure he didn't know you were pregnant when he left. He knows now, so he isn't going to leave. He swore to me he wouldn't."

"And you trust him?"

He looked uneasy. "As much as a wolf can trust a vampire, but Bells, you trusted him, completely, instantly; you're the one that taught me to trust him."

"Why would I trust someone that leaves me?"

He shrugged. "You told me he wasn't the same Edward and I suppose he's not, and you're not the same Bella, either, are you?"

He was right, I wasn't. I would never feel comfortable swatting his naked behind or talk to him about his 'junk'. I shook my head no, but I was still upset.

"Hey, Bells, if you're that upset about it, just talk to him about it." Damn stupid immature wolf was making sense and I hated him for it.

"Come on, Bells, how 'bout we go for a walk?" I looked at him hesitantly. "I'll tell you all the cool stuff you told me about?"

Curiosity got the better of me, so I went with him. I wanted to know everything, but Alice and Edward were always so cryptic, saying not to worry about it, it wasn't going to happen. I could see why now; Edward didn't want me to know why I went insane. It was his fault.

Jacob was very open, so different from Edward, opposite in so many ways. He was happy to fill me in on everything he knew about me. The more time I spent with him, the more I realized why the other Bella loved him. He was sweet, happy and open. Edward was so secretive and closed; he was polite, but he always seemed to be in pain, as if he was hiding some sort of emotion he didn't want me to see. He was very hands off where Jake was very hands on. Jake hugged and grabbed me up in his arms frequently and when we went for a walk, he held my hand to keep me from falling, and it seemed like the most natural thing, as if we had done it for years. It was comfortable. Yes, Jake was the opposite of Edward; both were beautiful, but so different. When it was time to go, Jake gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek.

"Don't be a stranger, Bells."

"I won't," I promised and drove home, trying to understand everything he revealed to me. It was strange when he told me that in the other future we were lovers. It didn't seem as uncomfortable as when Edward told me we were intimate. Jake just teased me and then said he didn't think he could handle sleeping with his mother in law, to which I replied, "That's just gross," because it was.

"I know," he replied. "So let's just, you know, be friends, if that's okay with you?"

I was relieve and laughed. "That sounds good to me."


	14. Chapter 14 climing the wall

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyers**

**Chapter 14 – Climbing the walls**

**Young BPOV**

When I got to my house, the phone started ringing. I answered it and before I could say hello, Alice started talking. "BELLA! Oh, thank god, there you are. Where have you been? Edward is climbing the walls, literally. Esme is not happy."

"Um, what? Sorry, I think?"

"So, where were you?"

"I was down at La Push visiting Jake." I heard a growl. "What was that?" I heard a loud bang and then a crash and then Alice started laughing.

"Nothing, just my idiot brother. Hold on." She pulled the phone away from her face but I could hear her yell, "Don't you dare, Edward! I have to be the one to go get her if there's any chance Charlie is going to let her spend the night." I heard a door slam and what sounded like a foot stomp.

Then I heard a woman's voice yell, "Edward Anthony! You stop that tantrum right now and quit banging around my house, young man! And I swear, if you break one more thing I'll have your father rip off your arm and whip your behind with your own hand! Now go get the putty and fix those holes in the walls before Bella gets here, do you hear me!"

Alice was still laughing as I heard Edward respond, "Yes, mother."

"Alice, is everything okay?"

"Um, yeah, uh, Edward just freaked out a little when you disappeared. He was afraid you were gone like the other Bella."

What could I say to that? "Oh," was my brilliant response.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. He's settling down now that he knows you're still here and all. I'm coming to get you. Charlie is going to be home in two minutes. If you get his dinner together fast by the time I get there he'll be just sitting down to eat and in a good enough mood to let you spend the night at my house."

I didn't mind hanging out with Alice, but it made me nervous to sleep in the same house with Edward. Wait, they didn't sleep so what were they going to do, just stand around waiting for me to wake up?

"Alice, um, you don't sleep."

"I know."

"So, um, what are you going to do while I'm sleeping?"

"What I do every night. Rearrange my closet and shop online." She said it like it was completely normal to spend the night in her closet and on the computer, and I supposed to her, it was.

"Okay, um, I guess I should eat before I come."

"No, don't. Esme has been having fun trying to cook things; she apparently was good at it when she was a human and so she wanted to try it out again."

"Um, okay, that sounds interesting."

Alice was laughing again. "Okay, Bella, get to work, your dad is almost there. Bye."

"Bye," I barely had time to reply and decided to do as she said. I pulled out some fish I had marinated the night before. It was well seasoned now. I threw it in the sauté pan and added some more lemon juice and then made some veggies and rice. I didn't even hear Charlie come in I was so distracted. I turned around and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw him sitting at the table.

"Smells good, Bells."

I smiled. "Thanks. It's almost done." I gave the fish another quick flip and then plated it for him.

"Aren't you going to join me?"

"Um, well Alice called; she asked if I could have dinner with them." I thought Charlie would be disappointed but he smiled.

"Really? So, are you going to go?" He sounded a little excited.

"Um, yeah, I think it's time I finally give in to Alice, and it's not shopping for once."

Charlie started laughing and I heard the knock at the door.

I opened it and found a pouty Alice, "I heard that," she whispered to me.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry, you can make it up to me by spending the night and letting give you a makeover."

I was about to object but Charlie spoke before I could. "Sounds like a good time. You should, Bells."

Alice squealed and started dragging me up the stairs to pack. I was shocked at the site of my room when I got there.

"Oh, my god, Alice, what happened?"

She gave me a sheepish look. "Yeah, um, Edward went a little crazy when he couldn't find you?"

"Are you serious?"

"Don't worry, Bella, I'll fix it." Before I could protest she was a blur flying around the room and when she stopped, it was in perfect order. I stood there with my mouth open and then I noticed she had my duffle bag over her shoulder. "Okay, you ready?"

"You packed during all that, too?"

I pointed to the bag and she smiled, "Yup, let's go. You can shower at my house."

"Shower?"

"Yeah, you kind of smell like dog. That's okay, I don't mind but I wouldn't be surprised if it makes Edward a little jealous."

What had I gotten myself into? Alice dragged me down the stairs and we waved to a smiling Charlie as I left. Once we were in the Volvo, she flew down the road like a bat out of hell. We were at the Cullen's in less than ten minutes and I stood outside their house in awe at the size of it. Edward ran out on the porch and stopped in his tracks when he saw me.

"Bella," he said and his tone sounded relieved, like he could finally breathe.

He leaped off the porch and zipped in a blur straight for me but Alice jumped in front of him and he let out a growl.

"Take it easy, Edward. Remember, be soft."

His glare at his sister softened and his face turned to me. Why did he have to be so gorgeous? Alice was gone and Edward was moving painfully slowly closer to me.

"May I take your bag?" He had his hand out waiting for it. I handed it over without a word. "Did you have a nice visit with Jake?"

I nodded yes as I followed him to the house. He was being painfully polite and controlled. I knew he missed me like crazy but he refused to touch me and I couldn't understand it. I kept thinking about everything Jake had told me and I was still a little steamed about Edward getting me pregnant and leaving me. He saw me glare at him.

"Um, I'm sorry about your room. That was completely uncalled for." I turned away from him and walked ahead of him.

As soon as I got in the house Alice grabbed me and smiled. "Way to make him sweat. Now come on, I'll show you where your room is and you can take a shower. I have some PJ's in there for you already. Esme will have your dinner ready for when you're done."

I smiled as she dropped me off in a bedroom with a large bed with a black metal bed frame and an adjoining bathroom. I showered quickly because I knew they were waiting for me and dressed in the dark blue pajama set Alice had left me. The underwear she left me was dark blue velvet, I mean nice, but why? I stepped out of the bathroom and saw Edward sitting on the edge of the bed pouting. It startled me.

He looked up and gave me a weak smile. "Are you ready to go down?"

He looked so sad. Damn it, why did I want to fix it? He gets me pregnant and leaves, but Jake said he wasn't the same Edward and that wasn't the future anymore. I slowly started to walk towards him; something was pulling me to him. His sad eyes watched my approached carefully, unmoving. He seemed to be calling to me through the silence. My hand reached out on its own accord, sliding up his soft marble cheek, it was cool and perfect and when I touched him, his eyes closed and he leaned into my touch. I wondered if he longed for my touch the way I longed for his. I felt his hands on my waist as he pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me, burying his face into my neck. I couldn't help but hold him tightly in return. I felt his cool breath on my neck and it gave me shivers.

He whispered softly, "I missed you."

I ran my fingers through his hair and then kissed his head. "I know."

He let out a deep breath that seemed to be a sigh of relief. If he went this crazy after not seeing me for half a day, how on earth could he leave me?

"Esme is calling us." I looked down at him surprised and he smiled.

"Oh, yes, your vampire hearing, I almost forgot."

He pushed me gently away from him and went to the door. "Shall we see what Esme has been up to then?" He held the door open for me and followed me closely on the stairs. I could feel his presence behind me and I almost wanted to just stop to see if he would bump into me. He always seemed so close but so far. Tonight's hug was the first time he'd touched me since the night that we kissed. He stepped in front of me and led the way to the kitchen, still not touching me. He pulled out a seat at the bar and smiled. A lady with caramel colored hair and a sweet smile came in and wrapped her cold arms around me and kissed my head. "Bella dear, it's so good to see you."

I was a little nervous to meet her. Even though the other Bella had met her, she had yet to meet me and we were two very different Bella's. She had prepared a roast with vegetables and a salad. She also set out a fresh fruit platter and some crackers and cheese. There was enough food to feed, well, everyone if they ate, but I knew they didn't.

"It looks wonderful, Esme, but you really didn't have to go through so much trouble for me."

"Nonsense, dear, it's my pleasure. You can always take the leftovers to Charlie."

"Oh, that would be wonderful. Thank you. I'm sure he would appreciate it."

Edward had arranged a plate for me and sat it in front of me. There seemed to be one of everything on it and I wondered if he was curious to see how I though it tasted and that was why he wanted me to eat it all. He sat across from me staring intently and waiting.

His mother, or Esme, saw this and bumped him. "Let the girl eat in peace."

He pouted a little and again I wanted to make him smile. "It's alright, Esme, he can watch, I suspect he's curious to see what I like."

He smiled widely and nodded yes.

She let out a laugh, "Alright, dear. I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

"Thank you," I said as she exited. "Now, where to begin?" I looked down at the daunting plate of food.

"May I make a suggestion?" I was surprised to hear Edward's excited voice.

"Of course."

He quickly picked up a strawberry. "This here, it's a strawberry, right? I believe I used to really enjoy these when I was human, but I can't remember the taste. Would you mind, um, telling me about it?"

I took the berry from his hand and smiled. "My pleasure."

It seemed my confident Edward had turned timid and shy in my absence and I wondered what had caused it. I slowly bit into the large berry and closed my eyes so I could savor the taste. It was sweet, tangy and delicious, tart but ripened to full sweetness. I described it to Edward and his eye's never left my mouth, especially when I licked my lips to catch the last of the berry essence.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know about?"

His smiled brightened when I asked. "Um, yes, if you don't mind, would you eat that there, I think it's a chunk of watermelon. Is that correct?"

I smiled. He was trying too hard to remember something he had not bothered with in decades. "Yes, that's right." I picked up the chunk with my fingers and the juice started running down my arm immediately. I laughed a little and licked it up and put the chunk into my mouth. Edward's eyes were visibly darker and his mouth slightly open, his gaze fixed on my mouth. "I think I like watermelon," he said huskily and I blushed a deep red. When he saw my response he said, "Mmm, yes, definitely like watermelon." I forgot about describing the taste and he went on watching me eat.

Alice came bouncy into the kitchen as soon as I finished. "MAKEOVER TIME!" she announced. I groaned and Edward pouted. "Oh, you two stop your pouting. Edward, go wait in your room and I'll send her in when she's done."

"Remember not to keep her up too late, Alice, she needs her rest," Edward said in a serious tone.

"I know, I know, I won't take forever. Just exactly what is too late?" she asked Edward.

I was about to answer but Edward spoke first. "She starts yawning by a quarter after eleven; that means bed time. I would like to see her before then." I was shocked he was so specific on the time.

Alice looked at the clock. It was seven-thirty already. "Well, that doesn't give me much time. I'm going to have to work at vampire speed with her."

"Just be careful with her, please."

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me from the kitchen. "Don't be ridiculous, she was my friend before she was your girlfriend, Edward."

I tried not to be shocked at her words but it was hard not to be. Edward had not asked me to be his girlfriend, at least not yet anyway. When we walked into Alice's room, it was a cross between the south throwing up and a Barbie dream house room. There was a confederate flag on display along with a few other things that stood out among the pink and ruffles. Her bathroom was huge and just as pink and ruffled. She sat me down on a seat and started working on my hair.

"So, how are things with you and my brother?" I blushed a deep red and she laughed a laughed that sounded like tinkling bells. "It seems they're moving kind of slow, are you okay with that? I mean, I think he's reverted back to his pre-future Bella state, you know, all hands off gentleman. Is that what you want?"

Well…

**Epov**

Alice disappeared upstairs with my Bella and I couldn't help but feel the loss. I'd gotten so used to constantly seeing her or having her within hearing range. When I went home to change this morning, she disappeared and was gone for half the day and I just lost it. I was terrified; I'd lost my Bella for good. I was so relieved when she finally arrived, but she seemed upset with me. I assumed it was due to the state of her room. I really must find a better way to make that up to her.

The soft sound of my sweet Bella's voice broke through my thoughts. "Um, yes, I guess you could say he's rather hands off." It sounded like she might be disappointed and so I decided to listen through Alice's mind. _'I know you're listening, Edward, so pay attention now so you don't screw this up.' _

Apparently, Alice wanted me to listen in.

"Well, I'm sure it's because he doesn't want you to feel pressured," she tried to reassure her.

That was right; I knew how nervous she was at just my touching her, her heart rate sky rocketed even when I just got near her. I didn't want to scare her to death.

"I don't know, Alice, he hasn't even..." My Bella was looking down at her hands.

"Hasn't what?" Alice pushed.

"He hasn't even asked me to be his girlfriend yet."

At that I fell off my bed. Both the girls looked up toward the ceiling.

"What was that?" Bella asked and Alice just laughed it off.

"It's probably just the boys roughhousing, don't worry about it."

My Bella went back to studying her hands.

"Hey, are you okay?" Alice noticed her glum mood. Good, maybe she would answer her. I knew she wouldn't talk to me about it, I was pretty sure she was upset at me.

"Um, yeah."

"For some reason I don't believe that, Bella." That's right, Alice, use your pixie powers to pry it out of her.

"It's just that..." She was staring at her hands again.

"Just what, Bella?"

"I talked to Jacob today."

"Yes, what did he have to say?"

Bella met Alice's eyes; they were upset. "Everything."

Uh oh.

"As in?" Alice asked.

"You know what I'm talking about. That I was completely insane, that I hallucinate, that I kill myself all because your brother leaves me. He leaves me, Alice!" She had gotten up and was pacing around the bathroom upset. "I don't want to be crazy and I don't…" She stopped and then looked at Alice again and whispered through her teeth, "I don't want to end up pregnant and alone."

"Oh, Bella, I promise that's not going to happen. I swear, okay?"

That's right, Alice, convince her.

Bella still looked worried. "I don't know, Alice, I'm just scared. I don't like the way I feel when he's around."

I felt like my dead heart had just fallen out of my chest. She didn't like me.

'_Calm down, Edward, and wait for the rest,' _Alice spoke to me with her mind.

"How does he make you feel?"

"I don't know, I don't understand it, it doesn't make sense. He scares me, not because he's a vampire but because of the way he makes me feel. Alice, I want him to hold my hand and touch my face. I wish he would put his arm around me and when he's sad or upset, I feel like I would do anything just to make him happy again. I don't know why, and you know what the worst of it is?"

"What?"

"When he kissed me, he started by my neck and I thought for a moment, if he kills me at least I'd be in his arms. That's insane! Why does he make me feel like that? What's wrong with me?"

I liked the first part, but her last revelation scared me, she and future Bella had a lot more in common than I thought. Yes, Bella, my love, it scares me, too.

"Well," Alice started, "Maybe it's because you love him but you're not acting on it. Maybe it'll get better if you start acting like you feel, you know, not so much inner conflict."

"I don't know, Alice, I don't think Edward wants me."

"Other than that kiss, has he touched you?"

"Um, well, he ah, gave me a hug when I got out of the bathroom before dinner."

"He did? That's wonderful. Now this is important, Bella, who started it?"

She shrugged. I wanted to shout out, 'You started it, Bella, you touched my face', but I sat silent.

"Um, well, I touched his face, he looked so sad."

"So you touched him first?"

She nodded her head yes.

"Well then, I guess he's just waiting on you then. I'll bet if you took his hand he would let you hold it, if that's what you want. I know he doesn't want to do anything to make you feel uncomfortable, Bella."

"You think?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I think you just need to lead on this, I know Edward will respond positively to your touch." She seemed to be thinking about something and then she smiled and nodded okay. I suddenly felt giddy; maybe I would get to feel my Bella's touch again. I missed her so much I ached. I quickly got up and straightened my room and then went to find the perfect music to listen to; something that would set the mood but nothing to obvious. Something just right for My Bella. My finger landed on Debussy and I smiled. I put it in and I heard her little feet pad down the hall toward my door. There was a light knock.

"Come in," I called to her and she slowly opened the door and peeked her head in. I couldn't help but smile, she was beautiful. "Hello, Love, survive my sister's makeover?" I tried to make small talk to help relax her and she looked down at the floor.

She was nervous. "Yes."

"Well, come in and let me see."

She stepped in and I gasped involuntarily. She was not wearing a bra and her warm brown hair fell around her shoulders in waves. I swallowed hard, fighting with myself to stay in place and forced myself to look at her face. Once I found her deep chocolate brown eyes it was easy to get lost in them and find some semblance of control. She was slowly moving towards me and I started breathing hard and fast. She smiled. Oh, god, she was killing me. I closed my eyes trying to fight grabbing her and taking her in my arms.

"You're absolutely breathtaking, Love."

Her scent waft around me and I knew she was close. I felt her hand on my cheek and I leaned into her touch letting her know I wanted her, that I needed her. Her other hand slid up my chest and I stopped breathing altogether. It wound up tangled in my hair and I felt her pull down on me. I opened my eyes surprised. Was she asking me what I think she was? Her eyes met mine and she smiled. My arms wound around her and I pressed her against me. It felt so good to have her in my arms. I nuzzled my face into her hair and she shivered as I breathed on her skin.

"I missed you," I whispered. She had no idea how much I missed her.

"I missed you, too," she whispered and I wondered if she understood.

Her warm body pressed against me, setting me on fire. I kept my face buried in her neck, fighting the need to kiss her. I would go at her pace and I was just pleased she was letting me hold her. I would not mess things up now. I felt her hand on my cheek and she softly whispered my name, turning my face to hers. Her lips were so close to mine. I was trying to implore all of my vampire skill of holding still when she did something completely insane and I was undone in one touch. Her little pink tongue darted out and licked my lips. I inhaled sharply in shock but fully accepted her when she pressed her lips to mine. She was perfect, it was heaven and I wanted her, I wanted all of her, but I knew I had to stop; this was not my Bella, not the one I had claimed, this one I still had to work for.

I had to find some semblance of my self control but I was finding it very difficult as she walked me back to the bed and pulled me down with her on it. Holy hell, how was I supposed to stop her? Why should I stop her if she wanted me? Oh, hell, what if she didn't want me? What if she stopped? Her hands ran wild over my chest and up into my hair but never below my belt. That just confirmed the theory that she wasn't ready for me and I needed to settle down before I scared her again.

I pulled away and rested my head on her chest, trying to gain control over my breathing again. Her breasts were soft and smelled sweet and perfect. I struggled trying not to focus on them as she ran her fingers through my hair. The action was soothing, calming and arousing all at the same time. Only my Bella could be everything at once. If I was stopping, I needed to go for a run now. I kissed up her neck to her ear and whispered that I needed to go, but I would return shortly. I told her to get comfortable in the bed and I would hold her tonight. I prayed that if there was a god that he would have mercy on me and give me the control I needed to keep my hands to myself tonight when I returned.


	15. Chapter 15 bait and switch

**All Characters belong to Stephenie Meyers.**

**Okay, crazy lemons coming up. This is the chapter that could be construed as rape. Really, it was an accident. **_**Those dang meddling kids!**_

**Chapter 15 – Bait and Switch**

**EPOV**

Today was September 13th. Bella was turning eighteen today and was freaking out about my pixie like sister's plans for her. She asked me to take her somewhere quiet to relax and so I naturally brought her out to the meadow. Alice's vision had yet to happen out in the meadow and I wondered if it ever would. I remembered what the other Bella had told me; that our girls were conceived on this night. Though I was anxious, I greatly doubted that it would occur tonight, as my sweet Bella was still very hesitant in my presence. Where future Bella would push, sweet Bella would stop. We were still on first base as Emmett would put it, and I knew that she knew how much I wanted her but I always made it a point to let her know that there was no pressure, I always let her lead. I didn't want to scare her.

I laid out the blanket in the middle of the meadow and invited her to have a seat. She looked nervous, afraid to be alone with me. There was no way our girls were going to be conceived this night. She stood quietly on the far side of the meadow, arms folded, looking nervously at the ground. She didn't need me for her quiet time. It was a little chilly out so I took off my leather jacket and set it on the blanket for her to use if she wished and then headed over to talk to her.

"I'm going to go for a run and let you have some peace to yourself."

She smiled up at me. "You won't go too far will you?"

"No, Love, I'll stay within hearing range, just call if you need me. Go ahead and relax."

I motioned to the blanket and she gave me a tight lipped smile and a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Edward."

I just nodded in return and left. No, we would not be conceiving our daughters tonight. There was no way unless there was some kind of divine intervention and I didn't see that happening.

I was gone only for a minute when I heard her voice call to me over the distance. I rushed to the blanket where I expected to find her but to my surprise she was still standing at the edge of the meadow. When I saw the expression on her face I was surprised. She was smiling widely and looked almost giddy.

"Edward," her voice called to me again. When she saw my answering smile, she started to run to me with outstretched arms. I hurried to her and scooped her up in my arms and buried my face in her hair. "Oh, Edward you're still here."

"Of course, Love, I told you I wouldn't go far, that I would stay within hearing range."

She shook her head no and tears began to fall from her face, but she continued to smile and it confused me. It suddenly dawned on me that this may be the other Bella.

"Bella, do you know what today is?"

"What?"

She started laughing. "No. Actually, Edward, I don't. What year is it?"

At that I crashed my lips into hers. I knew this was my Bella, the one that filled my mind, that propelled me to sneak into sweet Bella's room at night and watch her sleep and never tell, all the while listening to her. Wishing she would love me the way this Bella had before.

"Oh, God, I've missed you so much," I said as I kissed down her neck and pressed her against me. One hand was tangled in my hair and the other slid down the front of my thigh and I knew I was right. It was her. I carried her to the blanket and she pulled my face to hers and smiled.

"It's good to see you, too." She pulled my shirt off over my head and then her fingers seemed to find the most sensitive spots as she licked her lips. I couldn't help but purr and she smiled, winding a hand up in my hair, pulling my face towards her but pausing for a moment to carefully lick every inch of my mouth before sucking my bottom lip into her mouth. That earned a growl and I felt her smile against my mouth as she kissed me. I felt her hand move between us and then I felt the first of the searing heat come off of her chest. I slid the shirt she had unbuttoned off her shoulders and gently kissed every inch of skin as it became exposed. She reached behind her and unlatched her bra then; I laid her down softly on the blanket before I carefully pulled it away so I could fully appreciate her. Her hips pressed against mine looking for some much needed friction as she moaned my name. God, I wanted her, but how did I do this? I didn't have a couch to destroy and I didn't want to hurt her.

"Bella, there's no couch," I whispered in her ear and she smiled up at me then looked over at my jacket. She sat up and grabbed it, rolling it into a long tight twist and tucked one part under her head and left the rest of it out in the open for me.

"When it's time, grab and bite this."

"Are you sure about this, Bella?"

She answered me by running her hand over the front of my pants and pulling my face down to hers to kiss me again. I was purring instantly under her touch. There was no stopping her, not that I would even try. She was my Bella. My eyes gazed down her form, it was just as I remembered but what I thought was just part of her womanly form, I now realized was our children. It was just a small bump, hardly noticeable when she stood but as she lay down on her back it was more pronounced. I listened carefully and heard the thrumming of tiny hearts as I gently traced her stomach. When my eyes found hers she smiled.

"I can hear them," I whispered. "They have hearts; I can hear them beating."

I wondered if they would have souls, they must if they had beating hearts. I was suddenly nervous about what I wanted to do. I didn't want to hurt the babies. Bella must have read the worry in my eyes her hands gently caressed my face.

"We've done this before. Remember, love, we've done this before and they were fine." She pulled me down to kiss her. This time I would take my time, I would be more careful. I kissed her sweetly and softly, working my way down her body and she understood what I wanted from her. There was no frenzied rush, just loving touches. I worshiped every inch of her body until my name was echoed off the mountains in the distance. I let her catch her breath as a giant smiled split her face.

"Edward, that was amazing." She seemed to be gaining some control of her limbs again when she pulled me back to her face. She surprised me when she licked up my neck and then across my lips then whispered, "Tastes so good. I'll bet I know what else taste good." I felt her hand undo my belt and I pulled away. I did not think she would want to taste that. She was a lady and I did not want her to think she owed me anything for the pleasure I gave her, because it was truly my pleasure.

I nuzzled into her hair and whispered in her ear, "You don't have to do that, Love."

She continued to undo my pants, and I didn't mind, as I was fully ready to enter her now. Once they were off my hips, I pushed against her asking permission and she giggle. If I didn't know better, I would get a complex with all her giggling during our love making. She moved one of her legs to the side cutting me off. I couldn't help but pout; she confused me when she firmly grasped my hips and then fast as humanly possible yanked herself down the front of me and took me in her sweet hot little mouth. I was so caught off guard I shouted out something I hadn't said since I was a human.

"Sweet flying jack rabbits!"

This caused her to giggle, sending waves of pleasure up my form. I struggled to control myself. My Bella was truly amazing. As much as I enjoyed her mouth on me, there was somewhere else I wanted to be. I slowed my panting enough to get the words out.

"Bella, Love, please, I want to be inside you."

Her mouth slid off with a smile but before she pulled all the way away, she gave it one more lick and a light kiss and it twitched in response, answering her touches. She moved painfully slowly into position.

"I was right you know."

I gave her an inquisitive look.

"You taste delicious."

How her words could affect me as strongly as her touch, I would never know, but my answering growl let her know that I liked it. I pressed slowly into her letting her heat engulf me. It was a fire that shot through my whole body and set alight the ice of my form. Her sweet sounds under me let me know she felt the same. We moved together slowly and tentatively, enjoying every touch and movement. This time it was not awkward, rushed or lusted filled, but perfect, slow and every touch was filled with love. I was telling her how much I loved her and needed her, how much I wanted our future, our forever. I needed her forever. Her tongue pressed against my lips asking me to open and I was worried my sharp teeth would hurt her. She just smiled and whispered. "Trust me."

And I did, I would trust her with me because I knew she knew me better than I knew myself and the sweet ambrosia of her tongue entered my mouth as mine entered hers and I thought I was in heaven. My lips caught every whimper of pleasure and magnified my own. My answering purr seemed to set her off. She pulled away and I let her go, knowing I would not be far behind her as her body seemed to call me further into her. As I let out a roar and did as she told me, I destroyed the leather jacket and then collapsed against her chest, panting hard trying to get my breathing under control enough to speak to her, to tell her that I loved her. I was surprised when I was met with the soft sounds of sobbing.

"Bella?" I looked at her face. Something was wrong.

There was a look of terror in her eyes, one I knew my Bella would never have. I raised up, looking down at her naked form, our bodies still joined and the sweet baby bump that was there was gone. This was sweet Bella, and I had just taken her virginity, a slight tinge of her blood floated in the air.

"Oh, God! Oh, God, Bella! Sweet Bella, I'm so sorry, I swear, she was here, my Bella was here, I didn't mean to do this to you. I swear to God, I didn't mean to hurt you." If I could cry I would. "Please, Love, you know I would never force you, I would never pressure you, please. Please, Love, I swear, she was here. You were here from the future and God help me I wanted you. Please, love, please forgive me." I was terrified to let her go; afraid if I did she would never come back to me.

Little did I know I was right, but I refused to leave the area, I knew she was pregnant and refused to be run off by the rabid pack of wolves she had set on me. I had tried to explain what had happen to Jacob. If anyone could understand the circumstances it would be him. He knew the future Bella personally, but he found my story hard to believe.

So I sat waiting in our meadow. I knew future Bella would come to me. She was sixteen weeks pregnant. I just had to wait, and she would find me. I knew she would. I would sit silently waiting for her until the dogs would run me off, but I would return the next day and we repeated this routine, and I would continue until her return where she could set things right. The Bella here had no memory of our time together except the very end which just proved my point. It was my Bella that I had made love to and young Bella had returned right at the end. Little Nessie was insuring her conception even if it was at the cost of her parents, the little devil. I was upset but still I could not hate my daughter. She was the one that brought my Bella to me and I prayed for her return.

Jacob had just chased me up the mountains before he went on his retreat. I think it was his way of showing mercy, allowing me to stay in the area, but he had to chase me to appease the pack. Then I heard her name; the sweet heavenly name that could draw my attention from anywhere. Jacob had called to her and I quickly found his mind.

"Jacob, what are you doing here?" A confused Bella stood in our meadow surprised to see Jacob, could it be my Bella? I had to find out, I ran to her as I watched their exchange in his head.

"What am I doing here? Bella, why on earth are you out here?"

"This is my meadow, Jacob, why wouldn't I be here? Where is Edward?"

There was a low growl and several explicit words echoed in his mind but he refrained from speaking them. "I got rid of him, Bella, just like you asked me to do."

There was a sudden panic on her face. "Jacob, no, please tell me you didn't."

"I just ran him off again, Bella. What's wrong with you, why are you acting so weird?"

"Why would I have you run him off?"

"Because of what he did to you on your birthday."

He had to remind her, it must have been her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Bella," he leaned in a spoke softly, "He raped you."

Her eyes shot wide and I saw her hand fly. She hit him but the pain didn't register in his mind. The action did, though, and he was surprised.

"Bella, what's with you?"

"He would not…ever…my god, Jacob, what the hell happened? You know he would never..."

"Sure, you just happened to get pregnant by the stork."

She shoved at him, but he didn't budge. "Damn you, Jacob, of course I'm pregnant but that was not from getting raped."

He was starting to make connections in his mind. "Bells, do you know today's date?"

She looked around as if the answer was somewhere in the meadow and then shook her head. "No, Jacob, when am I?"

His eyes widened in understanding. "Bells, now this is important, what was the last thing you remember doing."

A deep blush filled her cheeks, "Jacob, I've told you before, I'm not discussing my sex life with you."

He grinned a big cheeky grin, "No, you told Sam you didn't want to discuss your sex life with him."

She just rolled her eyes at him. It was my Bella, and I felt my heart had wings, my feet would not carry me fast enough.

"Bells, this is important. Um, how far did you get, you know, before you checked out?"

"What?" He was rubbing his face in frustration and trying to think of a way to ask if I had violated sweet Bella in a frenzy of lust or if it was something else. "Ah, fuck, Bella, how far did you get before you time slipped again? I've got to know; it's important."

She glared at him but he must have been giving her puppy dog eyes because his mind was pleading. _'Please, please, please, just tell me, don't make me ask again._'

"His jack rabbit was just about to fly."

He looked at her confused and I burst out laughing. I saw him look in my direction. He could see me but Bella's human sight would not register me yet.

"Edward!" I heard her call.

Oh, she could make my heart soar. Jake looked back at her excited face and then she took off running in the direction she heard my laugh. She had just reached the far side of the meadow when I met her and caught her up in my arms, kissing her like the starving man I was.

"Oh, Bella, my Bella, thank god."

Jacob called to me with his mind. _'Back off, leech; I'm still trying to settle this business.' _

I slowed my assault of kisses and moved down her body kneeling in front of her. I lifted her shirt and placed my hand over our daughters and kissed her stomach.

"You're being a little trouble maker, Renesmee Cullen," I whispered to her tummy and Bella giggled.

"What has she done now?"

"She had you slip out at the grand finale so she could secure her conception. Sweet Bella was not pleased with suddenly being in a very compromising position with someone that she had never let past first base."

"Really? Am I that much of a prude?"

Jacob joined me in laughing. I was so glad she was finally back in my arms. I stood up and buried my face in her hair to take in her scent.

"Jack rabbits, Bella? Where the hell did you get that?" I heard Jacob ask and Bella just burst out laughing and smiled at me. "Never mind, I don't want to know," he added. "So, just to clarify, um, you guys were, um, actually in the act when you last checked out."

Bella giggled. "Yes, Jake, we were getting right to the end. I already was set off and he was just about to…"

He cut her off. "Don't, okay, just…don't; that's enough information. I don't need to know any more. Edward, I'll let the pack know that your story has been confirmed and if the other Bella comes back, we'll help her work through this."

For a dog he was actually being very reasonable. "Thank you, Jacob, that's very kind of you."

"Yeah, well, I don't want her going nuts and trying to kill herself or anything."

He earned a glare from both of us.

"Jacob Black," my Bella pulled away from me and spoke his name with venom in her voice, "How could you say such a thing to me?"

"Geez, Bells, come on, okay? I just mean, I see how happy you are with him and I remember how upset you were. God, look, I didn't mean anything by it, I just meant that I know he makes you happy."

She let out a huff.

"I just want you to be happy, Bells."

"Fine," she answered and then hugged him.

He picked her up in his arms and she chided him. "Careful now, you don't want to squish your wife."

He just let out a laugh. "That's just messed up, Bells."

She kissed his cheek and smiled. "I know but who am I to fight imprinting."

"I'll believe it when it happens."

She just grinned bigger. "I know you will."

She pushed her way back into my arms.

Jacob just shook his head. "I'm outta here. See you later, Bells." '_Charlie is still out of town, by the way. He won't be back until Sunday night,_' Jake added with his thoughts.

"Bye, Jake!" she called to him and then turned to catch my lips with hers again. God, I loved this woman; she was perfect.

"It is getting late, Love, and you're not dressed for this weather. Let me take you home."

She kissed me again softly and smiled. "I'll go anywhere with you." Yes, my Bella was perfect.

The house was dark when we arrived. I set her down in the entry and turned on the lights for her.

"Food?" I asked, "Baby needs to eat."

She headed for the kitchen and started sniffing around the kitchen to see if there was anything she wanted to eat. She surprised me when she pulled out a steak that was marinated. The surprise was not so much that it was what she wanted to eat, but what she did with it. She threw the steak in a skillet and then instead of discarding the blood, she drank it.

"Um, Bella?"

She turned and looked at me surprised. There was a drop of blood running down her chin. The red liquid on her pale skin was too delicious to pass up and I carefully licked it off to be sure I didn't lose any of it and then I kissed her to taste it in her mouth and it was heavenly. I didn't think my Bella could get better but I was wrong, she was amazingly more than perfect.

"Bella, love, when did you start drinking blood?"

She just shrugged. "I've only done it a couple of times, it just smells too good." She blushed and I couldn't help but chuckle, then she surprised me. "Edward, could you get me some more?"

Yes, absolute perfection. "Of course, Love, what kind would you like?"

"Mmm, whatever is fastest? I want you back here with me."

Definitely absolute perfection. She pulled out a thermos for me to collect the blood in and I slipped out as she worked on her steak. God, blood dripping down Bella's body dominated my mind. Licking it off her chin and lips was delicious and I wanted to lick it off of other places. I had to pull myself together and focus so I could get back to my Bella. I caught the scent of a mountain lion and was thrilled. I wanted to share my favorite with her. I knew she would love it. I made quick work of the lion and had the thermos filled and finished it off myself. Didn't want to waste it, of course. I noticed her window was opened wide and the light was on in her room and so naturally I sprang up and swung myself in. She was sitting on her bed writing in what looked like a journal. She looked up and smiled.

"Mountain Lion."

"Really? That's wonderful!" She was really excited. I sent up a silent prayer, hoping that she would never leave me. She kissed my cheek and took the thermos from me and sniffed its contents and smiled as she took a few gulps. She looked up at me, and I knew I was smiling like an idiot but I couldn't stop.

"What?" she asked, but how did I answer that?

"You, you're just perfect."

She patted the bed. "Then why are you over there?"

She didn't have to ask me twice. She set the blood down on the nightstand.

"Just give me a minute." She wrote quickly in the journal and then tucked it into the nightstand drawer. "If I check out again, have her read that okay?"

She thought of everything. I had to kiss her again. The taste of mountain lion on her lips was brilliant.

She stopped for a moment and took another swig. "This stuff is so much better warm."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, and just you wait, when you're a vampire you'll get it straight and it's even better."

Yes, perfect woman must have been reading my mind because she striped off her shirt and smiled at me as she undid her bra. My lips quickly got to work. I would have her before she disappeared on me again. Yes, mind reader she was. She lay back and grabbed the thermos and trickled the blood across her breasts. Heaven, I was in heaven. She took another quick swig and let it run down her chin and smiled.

"It seems I've made a mess of myself, care to help me clean it up?"

Like the articulate idiot I was, I just nodded eagerly and she pulled me to her lips. I followed the trail down her chin to her breast sucking every last drop from her flesh. _Must not bite, must not bite, must not bite_ I chanted to myself and I didn't. Her breasts were beautiful splattered in blood and the way my name fell from her lips made me never want to stop. She pulled my shirt off of me, throwing it across the room and then went for my pants, shoving them down my thighs. Yes, I was in heaven. She shoved me over and then climbed on top me, pinning me under her. She wanted to be on top this time and I was fine with that. She dipped her fingers into the blood and smeared it on my lips and roughly licked it off. She dipped them again and smeared it down my chest and then down my hip straight to my cock. I felt her fingers swirl the warm liquid on the tip of my cock. If there was a place better than heaven, that was where I was. She licked down the trail she'd made and took me into her mouth. It was all I could do not to explode instantly. Thank God Charlie was not home, there was no way I could be quiet.

I finally was able to grunt out, "Bella…inside you."

She released me with a quick lick and a kiss and then found my lips again as she kicked off her bottoms. One hand was wound up in my hair and the other gripped my cock positioning it to enter her. I had one hand on her breast and the other in her hair, when suddenly my heaven got shot straight to hell. I felt her start and pull away from the kiss so I released her. Her wide eyed shock made me realize what had happened. She looked down at the hand on her breast and I quickly released it but the real fun started when she realized where her other hand was. She flew off the bed at what was pretty close to vampire speed. She was cussing or yelling something, but I didn't pay attention. She stood across the room naked and freaking out and I had to do my best to do damage control. I got up and pulled up my pants and went to her closet. I pulled out her robe and tossed it to her and kept my back to her as she put it on.

"Edward, What the HELL!"

"Are you decent?" I asked before I turned around trying to emphasize I was not trying to take advantage of her and I knew she was the other Bella.

"Yes, yes, I'm dressed enough. You may turn around."

I turned around slowly. Really, where did I start?

She must have read my expression. "She was here again."

I chuckled blackly, "Yes, she was."

"You were about…she was…" she pointed nervously at my pants.

"Yes, she was about to climb on and take a ride," I said rudely. I was getting tired of this prudish, angry Bella. I wanted my Bella back. Her mouth dropped open in shock. Okay, maybe that wasn't the best approach. I sat down defeated.

"I'm sorry, Love, your daughter seems to think it's funny to put me in these positions with you and then swap you out. Really, truly, you know I would never do anything you don't want to do, you know that, right?" She was standing stiffly with her arms crossed next to the nightstand and I noticed she sniffed toward the thermos.

"What's that?"

"Mountain lion, Bella had a craving for blood so I brought her some."

She looked up surprised. "That's your favorite, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I'm more than happy to share."

She looked at the thermos again. I could tell the smell was calling to her.

"Just try it. The babies are half vampire; it isn't surprising that they want blood."

She shrugged, trying to look indifferent and then picked it up and sniffed it again. She started to gulp it down and started moaning; apparently, sweet Bella really liked the blood as well.

"Oh, Edward, that was so good."

There was a drop running down her chin. I knew this Bella would not permit licking so I reached out with a finger. "You have some on your chin," I warned her before I touched her and then gathered the liquid on my finger and took it into my mouth. She looked stunned; I needed to break the silence. "Would you like me to get you some more, Love?"

"Um, I think I'm good for now." She looked like she wanted to say something but didn't speak.

"She wrote in your journal," I pointed to the nightstand. "She wanted to try and clear things up between us I think. I suppose if there's something you want to tell her you can write it there as well."

I ran my hand through my hair roughly. I wanted her to want me and love me the same way the other Bella did, but she just wouldn't. I turned to leave when she called to me.

"Edward, what happen that night?"

I knew she was talking about her birthday. "It's just as you remember, I took you to the meadow for some peace and quiet. I spread the blanket out for you and left my jacket so you wouldn't get a chill. I told you I would stay close; that you just had to call for me when you were ready to leave. I knew you didn't want me. That's why I left."

My eyes met hers and they looked sad, she was still listening waiting for me to continue.

"I didn't get too far when I heard you call to me. I just figured you wanted me to fetch something from the car or get you something so I came back, but it wasn't you. I knew it wasn't you. I asked her if she knew what today was and she shook her head no and asked me what the year was. She was so happy to see me." I sat down. It was hard to remember her when she was gone and I didn't know when she would return; it hurt. "I was sure it was her because when I laid her down before I took her, I traced her little baby bump. She's sixteen weeks pregnant, just showing. I knew it was her when I took her but then suddenly she was gone and you were crying under me and I looked down and the baby bump was gone. She wasn't there anymore. Your daughter there was making sure she was conceived. Little bugger."

"What?"

"Nessie, the baby that time slips; she was conceived on your birthday. The other Bella told me this during the first visit. I knew it wasn't going to happen between us and I wondered how much the future would change because we're taking things so much slower. I never even considered Nessie would do something like this. Of course, it doesn't explain why she did it now."

Her hand was protectively covering her stomach and I watched as she rubbed circles on her belly and then finally I met her gaze. "I think she was trying to prove a point to me," she whispered. "I should have believed what you said. I was just too hurt and upset." I was surprised to see the tears spring from her eyes. "Why do you love her so much more than me?" The revelation shocked me, floored me, but her words were true, I loved sweet Bella but I would give anything to have my Bella, my crazy wonderful perfect Bella. The truth of the matter was my Bella knew me better than I knew myself and loved me completely. Sweet Bella was still unsure of me and frustrated me to no end, especially when I could compare her love to my Bella. I knew what I was missing. I could try and deny it but I knew she would know that I was lying. "It's not that I don't love you, sweet Bella."

I noticed she cringed at my term of endearment. "Don't call me that," she snapped.

I let out a sigh. I didn't know what to say to her so I just stated what I knew to be true. "She is you."

"No, she's not! I would never..." she pointed flustered at the bed and I laughed, making her madder.

"Yes, you would, you can and you have. She's you; the only difference is she has twenty years of experience under her belt. In her mind she's been with me for twenty years and has loved me for as long and knows me better than I know myself, so when you ask me if I love her more, I have to say yes because she loves me completely, but you have to understand, it's you I'm loving. You're the one I'm touching, feeling, breathing in and taking into myself, it's you. You're the same person and I hope to God that you really do love me like that in the future because it scares the hell out of me that you won't, that you'll realize that this is all wrong. I've become dependent on you, Bella, my sweet Bella, and I will call you sweet because that's what you are, my sweet, innocent Bella that I cherish and wait for and I will wait until the end of time for you but you have to understand, Love. You're one in the same."

She was shaking her head at me, "No, you're wrong, Jacob said you were a different Edward; that she trusted and loved you because you weren't the one that left her."

"That's where you're wrong. I'm the same Edward as the one from her future, it just hadn't happened yet. I didn't know she was pregnant and I would never leave you, Love, not like that."

"But you would leave me if I wasn't?"

"Isabella, I don't know why I left her, I truly don't. From what I understand, much like you, because you _are_ the same person, she was a magnet for danger, danger I'm sure that came to her by knowing me. I love you, Bella, and if I thought that my presence threatened your life, I would by all means leave so you could have a better life. After Alice had told me everything I had put her through, I suspect that's why I left, but I can't be sure. I only know that I'm the same Edward. The only difference is now she's told me what happens if I leave and I cannot permit it to come to pass. She's also told me of what will happen if I stay and so I've chosen to stay in hopes that you'll love me and that we'll have a family together and be content in forever. It really is you I love, Bella."

**Young Bella's POV**

One minute I was trying to rest and figure out what I was going to do with a baby, and the next I was suddenly kissing Edward. God, it felt good; deep, passionate and I felt truly wanted. It was then I realized I wasn't daydreaming but he was actually in my bed under me. His hand was in my hair and I felt the other on my breast. I jerked away. He immediately released me. I looked down at where his hand was and realized I wasn't wearing anything. He quickly pulled his hand away from my breast. Then I looked down to see what my hand was gripping down between my legs. Holy shit, it was his…I flew off the bed. I couldn't believe I was touching him and about to do something with him.

"Holy hell, holy hell!" I was naked and confused and I looked up to see a naked Edward getting up off the bed. He turned his back to me as he pulled up his jeans. God, his butt was just perfect.

"Shut the hell up! Oh, my god," I was screaming at myself. I couldn't believe what I was just doing. From the position I was in it was definitely me doing it. I felt hot. I knew I was ten shades of deep red. I couldn't believe it. He tossed me my robe and I quickly wrapped it around me, trying to figure out what was going on because I was totally just about to do it with Edward Cullen and I didn't know why.

God, he was so confusing. He was being a perfect gentleman again, just as he was that night. My hand instinctively went to my stomach. He swore he was with the other Bella and he didn't mean to hurt me, but I didn't know what hurt worse, the actions or the words of that evening. I loved Edward, he was beautiful, too beautiful for me and I really didn't understand his fascination with me. I was afraid if we went too far he would just leave me. I'd heard that was standard practice for guys and I wasn't ready to let him go yet. Then to find out he was screwing the other Bella behind my back, I didn't want to believe it, it felt like he was cheating on me, I had seen the look in his and Jacob's eyes when they spoke of her, both loved her deeply, they felt much closer to her than me. Though Jake and I had grown closer lately, it was still obvious that Edward still was very much in love with the other Bella and still screwing her while claiming to love me. I didn't want to believe it but tonight just proved it. I wondered how many times this happened before, how many times had she slipped in and screwed my boyfriend right under my nose.

She was here again, and he crudely remarked that she was about to ride him like a damned carousel pony. My mouth dropped open; I have never heard Edward say anything like that to me. He had never been rude to me and I felt like he just slapped my face. He was obviously upset by my interruption.

Then he was blaming everything on Nessie, it was her fault, this whole mess. His words hurt; he would never do this with me. It was true other than that night, he'd never let a hand slip or tried to pressure me into anything; even after months of dating he was still patiently waiting but that was because he was obviously getting his needs met elsewhere.

I was ranting in my mind when I smelled something delicious I couldn't place what it was, but I definitely wanted a taste of it. There was a thermos on my nightstand that wasn't there before. It was mountain lion blood. He had brought her blood, hunted for her and brought her his favorite, what he considered the best. I remembered from our twenty questions he made me play that mountain lion was his favorite food. The smell was tantalizing, completely stealing my focus; it was ridiculous. He offered to share, and I tried to be cool and not pounce on it. I lifted the thermos and took one last sniff. I couldn't believe I was about to do this but it just smelled so good. Once it hit my lips I couldn't control myself, I shamelessly gulped it down, moaning in pleasure. It was so good, so satisfying, I felt like a starving man finally getting a meal. I couldn't believe it.

I realized then his eyes had not left my face. He was watching me, and it seemed like he was enjoying the show. Then he stepped closer to me pointing to my face where a drop of blood had escaped. His cool finger ran up my face collecting the stray blood and then he sucked it off his finger. Oh, hell, that was hot. Why did he have such control over me that he could dazzle me with one little finger? How could he stun me to such a point that I would do his will with just his proximity, his look and one little finger? God, I hoped he never realized that.

He offered to acquire more blood for me, and It was sweet of him to offer. Sweet, the word made me feel bitter, I knew he referred to me as sweet Bella and her as 'my' Bella or rather _his_ Bella, I was not his; it hurt and I wished I had the courage to ask him why he loved her so much more than me.

He pointed out that she had written something in my journal and told me if there was something I wanted to say to her that I could write it in there as well. Yes, there was definitely something I wanted to say to that bitch; stay in your own damn time and keep your hands off my man. He was looking at me longingly and I wondered what he was thinking or who he was thinking of. Was he thinking of the last night they were together? Did he want me like that; did I want to be wanted like that? He turned to go and suddenly I didn't know why I panicked. I wanted him to stay so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, asking what had happened the night he raped me. God, please no details I prayed. I didn't think I could handle that right now. He stopped and looked at me carefully before he began to recount everything I already knew had happened. But then he surprised me by saying that he believed I didn't want him, so that was why he left me alone in the meadow. I could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke; he really thought I didn't want him.

Once he recovered from his emotions he finished his explanation, saying he heard me call to him, only I didn't. It had been her, his Bella, and she was happy to see him.

She was happy to see him. Something so simple touched him so deeply, I could see how much he missed her and it hurt. Damn, it was my own fault for being so scared of losing myself in him. From what I heard of my future self, I went insane. This man drives me insane in the future and every time I looked at him that was what I saw, the man that made me crazy, and it was completely believable because even as hard as I fought it, he truly did have me completely, he just didn't know it.

When he spoke again he started talking about touching her and I prayed to God that he would stop. Thank god he skipped the details, but then he went on about Nessie again. He had a slight smile as he called her a little bugger and then shocked me.

She was making sure she was conceived?

My hand was instinctively rubbing my belly as he spoke of our baby. She was conceived on my birthday, just as the future Bella had said, but we were taking things painfully slowly. Edward had no intention of trying to conceive her even though he knew it was supposed to happen; he had no intention of pushing me and was going to risk losing the future the other Bella had told him about for my sake. We hadn't spoken since that night, and with so much interference, Nessie had messed things up already. Edward and I really weren't together anymore and I was beginning to believe that she was trying to change that, I think she wanted me with her father.

Nessie was a little stinker and was trying to show me the truth. Stupid angry tears, I couldn't hold them back or stop myself from asking him why he loved her so much more than me.

He sat shocked trying to come up with the right words I was sure, but then he freakin called me Sweet Bella again. I wanted to stab him in the eye, damn hormones. Then he said that we were one in the same person and that made me want to cry and slap him at the same time. That was such bullshit and he knew it, so I pointed out the obvious difference between her and me and the jerk just laughed. He laughed at me!

He tried to feed me his glorified lines of how she had loved him for twenty years and I just wanted to hit him again. And I swear to god if he called me sweet again I was seriously going to find a way to hurt him. I was tired of this line of crap he was trying to feed me, I threw his wonderful future Bella's word in his face about him being a different Edward than his Bella's Edward and his brow furrowed at me and he seemed upset. Well, he could just kiss my butt; it wasn't as if he could do anything to me. I was pregnant with his baby; I knew he wouldn't lay a hand on me.

Then he had the nerve to claim he was the same Edward, but he just hadn't left her _yet, _but he wasn't planning on leaving me since I was pregnant. Oh, that just made me feel so much more wanted and more secure. NOT. So the only reason he was with me now was because I was pregnant. I was wrong he could still hurt me, especially when he claimed I was _her_ again.

I wanted to strangle him. I was not her!

He tried to explain why he thought he may have left her, but since he knew the future according to Alice, he wanted to stay. He claimed that he loved me, but I knew better. He loved _her, _his Bella_,_ and he always would, and he was living in hope of promises that the other Bella had made and my heart broke. I couldn't do this. I couldn't be that woman, the one I hated so much. I wasn't her and I had no clue how to be her. I knew Edward would just end up being disappointed. He would eventually leave me like he had in the future because I was not what he wanted. He was only here because of the babies. He basically told me so, the babies and a promise from another woman that I could not keep.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I can't do this; I can't be with you. I can't be her, I will never be her, I will never love you like she does. I can't love you like she does. I'm sorry, I just can't. Please just go."

"Please, Love, please," he begged and it hurt so much to turn him out.

I couldn't look at him. I knew if I did, I would give him whatever he wanted, but I needed to be strong. He needed to leave now so it wouldn't hurt as bad. He shocked me when he roughly grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug, pressing his face into my neck, I heard him sob softly as he begged again.

"Please, Bella, please don't send me away."

I couldn't move, couldn't speak, because if I did I would give in to him. I needed to let him go. We would not be happy together. Not based on this. I had to get him off of me. He needed to leave so I wouldn't change my mind. I pushed against him and at first he didn't budge but after a moment he saw that I would not give in and he relented.

He could not look at me as he left, and my heart ached to see his golden eyes just one last time, but it would not be. As soon as he was gone I lay on my bed and cried. I was truly alone. Edward would never love me. I was hurt and angry, angry with the other Bella who had ruined everything; I wanted to write how much I hated her in my journal so she could read it herself. It was the only way I could confront her.

I pulled out my journal and opened to the last page that was written on and panicked. In bold letters she had written a warning:

'_**STOP HIM! HE IS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF and you will NEVER forgive yourself for it, you will go insane and throw yourself off the cliffs of La Push, you must stop him now or you both die!'**_

My heart leaped out of my chest in a panic and I screamed at the top of my lungs, I didn't want him do die. I dropped my journal and ran to my window. I screamed his name but there was no reply. I ran out to my truck and sped toward his house with the windows down, screaming out for him. He did not come to me. When I reached his house I was met by his family who were surprised to see me and worried that I had screamed myself hoarse. I stumbled out of the truck and Carlisle caught me in his arms before I collapsed to the ground. My voice came out in a cracked whisper. I had screamed myself raw.

"Edward, please stop him."

"Stop him? Bella, dear, he would never hurt you." I shook my head furiously; they weren't understanding what I was trying to say.

"Edward," I sobbed, again in a cracking whisper that only a vampire could hear. "He's going to kill himself, please stop him."

Carlisle was startled by my words and his face quickly snapped to his wife's who was in an immediate panic. They all quickly turned to Alice who was in the middle of her vision and we all waited poised for action. "The Volturi! He's gone to the Volturi. We have to get to Italy now." Alice turned to me, "Please tell me you have a passport."

"Yes, top drawer of my dresser."

Alice turned to Emmett and whispered something at vampire speed and he took off and then she started stomping around frustrated. Carlisle was talking on the phone with someone as I leaned on his side for support. My tears did not subside and Esme pulled me into her arms.

"Please," I begged, "Please save him."

She gave me a worried look and glanced up at Carlisle and then everything went black.


	16. Chapter 16 puppies

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter 16 - Puppies!**

**Young Bella's POV**

When I started to come to, I was resting with my head on someone's lap and they were running their fingers through my hair. I recognized the sweet perfume as Esme. I was still with Esme. I could hear rapid hissing going on in the background and then finally Alice snapped,

"Nothing is working! If they see her it doesn't end well. Every time, they pick up on the heartbeats. Damn it! They're going to know she's pregnant. If they find out she's pregnant with Edward's children they won't let us go. Any of us." The tone in Alice's voice was damning and sent a chill down my spine. I shivered and I felt Esme tuck a blanket tighter around me. I couldn't help it. "Tears started to spill. Esme pulled me up into her arms. "Oh, honey, don't worry, we'll figure it out. We have time to figure it out before we get there." I looked at the sad serious faces of the Cullen's and they all tried to give me reassuring smiles. They all came out as grimaces. "Why would they keep us, Alice?" I finally asked.

She gave me a sad look. "You heard that?"

I nodded.

"Well, we supposedly can't have children and if they figure out that Edward has fathered a child, well, they'll want to study you and well, we would be punished for telling our secret."

"But you didn't, it was Jacob. You didn't tell me anything."

"Yes, well they won't see it like that."

I tried not to cry but it wasn't working. I had to find a way to get them out of this. I wished Jacob had never told me. Wait, how come he knew?

"Why does Jacob know?"

"Well, he's part of the wolf pack we have a treaty with of course. They overlooked that indiscretion because they're also supernatural and in hiding."

I had a plan forming in my mind. I had to get it cleared up, though. "How much do they know about the wolf pack?"

Carlisle answered. "Nothing really, it was just a formality to mention it to them. Marcus, one of the heads, had a run in with a true werewolf and was sympathetic to our plight. Of course the wolves in La Push are shape shifters, not werewolves."

"I have an idea but I don't know if it will work."

Alice perked up. "Yes, yes I think it will. Edward will be upset, but it may work."

"Mind letting us in on the plan?" Emmett pushed.

"Jacob," Alice said plainly and she smiled at me.

Everyone turned to me expectantly. "Edward thought the babies were Jacob's at first, didn't he? So, what if we told the Volturi they were. That I'm pregnant with wolves."

Carlisle grimaced, but it was Alice that spoke. "I know you think they'll just kill her but they won't. You see, they know through Edward's mind that there are fifteen wolves now with more coming up. Hold on." Alice grabbed me and dragged me into the back of the plane. She covered her ears as a signal to the others. I didn't know what it meant. Then she pulled out her phone. "Aro can read minds and know all past and present events with a touch. They need to know that you told Jacob you were here. Go into the next room and explain everything and then let us overhear him threaten to bring the pack to kill them all if they hurt you. That should be enough."

I nodded shaking all of the sudden I didn't know what the hell I was doing. The phone was ringing and then an angry voice came on the line growling.

"What?"

"Jacob?"

"Bella, where are you?"

"I'm on my way to Italy with the Cullen's. I don't have much time, Jacob, just listen carefully."

"Did they take you?"

"No, no I'm fine. Listen, Jake, I need your help."

"Yeah, sure, what do you need?"

"I need you to pretend to be the father of my babies."

"What?" he choked out.

"Look, if the Volturi find out I'm pregnant with Edward's kids they won't let me go, so you have to pretend to be the father."

"Um, sure, how am I…"

"Just listen, okay, they have a guy that can read past and present thoughts and events, the Cullen's are out of ear shot right now so when I step back in with them you need to be furious that your pregnant girlfriend has been taken to stop Edward, okay? Threaten to bring the wrath of the whole pack down on the Volturi if they hurt me and Alice says they should back off and let me come home."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes,"

"What are you doing there anyway?"

"It's Edward, I have to stop him."

"Stop him? Stop him from what?"

"I know why I killed myself now, the reason I threw myself from the cliff in La push."

There was a sharp intake of breath and then silence.

"He kills himself, Jake, because of what I said to him, because I told him I would never love him. He didn't leave me never to return, Jacob. He dies at the hands of the Volturi and it was all my fault and I can't live with it. I can't live with the guilt of killing my children's father." I burst into sobbing tears again.

"Hey, Bells, it's going to be alright. The pixie vamp said it's going to work out, right?"

I sniffled, pulling myself back together. "Yes."

"So, I get to be daddy for a day. I think I like that."

I couldn't help but giggle. "Okay."

"So, when do I get to start yelling?"

"You sound like you're going to enjoy this."

"Hey, threatening vampires is one of my favorite things to do and you're actually asking me to do it so yeah, maybe a little."

"Jacob."

He just laughed at me. "Okay, woman, you better bring my babies back in one piece along with you."

"I will."

"Well, my little baby momma, let's begin."

I stepped back into the main cabin. They all had their hands over their ears and were humming all different tunes. It was almost comical. So I started. "Well, I talked to Jacob and he's a little peeved about me going to Italy to get Edward but I settled him down a little. He wants to talk to you."

I held the phone up.

"I know you leeches can hear me! You keep your teeth to yourselves, you hear me! If anything happens to my Bella or my babies I'll kill you all. Then I'll take the pack and wipe out every damn vamp in Italy do you hear me? If one hair is out of place on my Bella's head I'll lead the pack to hunt down every last leech that even looked at her on the trip, do you understand! You bring my baby back to me in one piece or you will all die!"

Everyone was grimacing and flinching at his angry words.

Alice whispered, "I thought you calmed him down."

I just shrugged at her. "I did." I held the phone up to my ear. "Thanks, honey. I won't be long, just a few days. I'm going to miss you, but you know Edward is my friend."

"I can't believe you're friends with those leeches."

I let out a sigh and rolled my eyes. I knew they heard everything. "Love you."

"I love you, too, Bella."

"I know."

"Be safe."

"I will, babe. Bye."

I saw Alice's face blank as she checked the future and then she smiled at me and gave me the thumbs up.

Even though Alice had said everything would work out, I couldn't help but feel anxious.

The men insisted their wives stay behind at the hotel and so I was accompanied by Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper to the Volturi castle. The place itself seemed terrifying but realizing I was surrounded by human eating vampires was enough to make me almost faint, almost. Carlisle noticed my paler than normal color and pulled me tightly to his side.

He leaned down, "He' with them now; they're trying to convince him to join the guard. Aro is an old friend of mine; he knows Edward is a son to me. He won't give in unless his hand is forced."

"Forced?"

"If Edward breaks a law, he'll have to be dealt with justly. There'll be no way around it. Alice saw him trying to step into the noonday sun in this very town tomorrow. If he does, then they have no choice but to kill him. I hope we can convince him otherwise."

My breath hitched. I hoped I could fix this. This was all my fault. The red eyed vampire that was leading us stopped suddenly and motioned for us to wait. We all stood stalk still.

"Your Highnesses, more of the Cullen coven has just arrived; I believe they're here to retrieve this one." We all listened silently and then I was surprised by the tone of the voice that spoke. It was happy?

"Really? Well, send them in."

We walked into the hall and a giant smile broke out across the face of one of the scary old men; the other two just gave light grimacing smiles.

"Carlisle, my old friend, it's good to see you, I see you're still adhering to your odd diet."

I looked up at Carlisle; he seemed to have a genuine smile on his face. "Yes, I am, it's good to see you, too, Aro. Although I'm sorry it isn't under happier circumstance."

He glanced over at Edward. His eyes were locked on me in shock. It looked like he wanted to come to me but he held his place.

"Well, if you are not indulging, why the snack? She does smell delightful." Carlisle's friend shot me a wicked grin and I shuddered and hid my face in Carlisle's chest.

I heard growling erupt all around me.

It seemed Carlisle was still calm. "She's actually a friend of Edward's that has come to convince him to come home."

I looked over at Aro again. He seemed to be inhaling deeply with his eyes closed. "Shame, she smells delightful, and her heart pounding in fear is just mouthwatering."

Then he paused suddenly and cocked an eyebrow at me. "Carlisle, she's with child."

Edward growled louder and Jasper appeared at his side and grabbed his shoulder, calming him immediately. Aro looked curiously at Edward and then back at me.

"Yes, she is. You remember the wolves? I mentioned them before."

One of the other men actually flinched at the mention of the wolves.

"Yes." Aro was curious now.

"She's part of their pack, she gets a lot of flak for befriending us, but when the need arises to negotiate, it's nice to have someone on the inside."

I noticed everyone was sniffing curiously.

"She doesn't fully smell like one," said the man that had flinched.

Carlisle smiled. "No, she wouldn't, she's just his significant other. I think that's what they call it these days, she's privy to the information, as she will soon be giving birth to a little wolf," he smiled down at me.

I looked over at Edward and he looked upset. I hoped he didn't believe it.

"Interesting," Marcus, the flinching vampire said looking back and forth between Edward and me again. Then Aro spoke. "Do you mind? Marcus seems intrigued by something," he spoke to Carlisle but stuck his hand out to me.

"Well," Carlisle started, "Would you mind using me instead of her? Jacob Black is the Alpha of the pack and the father; I don't want to upset him. Their pack has grown significantly over the past year."

"Really?" Aro waved Carlisle forward eagerly.

He took this opportunity to pass me to Edward. He took me, but his arms were positively stiff. Aro took his hand and then smiled.

"Your son," he paused for a moment grinning, "He's in love with her. Jacob chases him away from her."

Edward had a scowl on his face and was looking away from me.

Then his eyes went wide. "He was not happy about her coming."

"No, he has a bit of a bad temper. That's why we waited to tell him she was coming with us."

"Well, please be sure to return her in one piece, we don't wish the wolves to show up on our doorstep. Not that we couldn't deal with them, but the smell and the ruckus would definitely be more trouble than it's worth."

The amused looked on Marcus face fell off at his brother's words. He looked at him questioningly. Aro just smiled at him.

The third man finally spoke. "Edward is welcome to stay and join the guard if he does not feel the need to go home and pine away for a human that obviously does not return his affection."

Marcus surprised them both when he smirked. He offered his hand to Aro and after a moment of reading Marcus, Aro laughed. "Oh, that is interesting. Like a good novel."

Edward was glaring at them.

The third man was getting annoyed with the other two. "Well, Edward, our offer still stands. You're welcome to stay and be part of the guard; it really is quite an honor."

By the look on Edward's face, it looked like he was considering staying and I looked over at Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett. It looked like they were worried about the same thing.

"Edward," I whispered even though I knew that they could all hear me. "Please, you must come home."

His eyes glared down at me and I shivered with fear in his arms. I'd seen him upset but it was never directed at me.

"Jacob is waiting for you." He pushed me out of his arms toward Emmett.

The stupid fool wasn't getting it; he wasn't listening. I had to think fast. Aro said it was like a good novel so I might as well borrow from one.

"So, you're going to leave me to a wolf with a bad temper, unprotected. Do you really not care?" My heart ached as I said the last words, worried at what his answer might be.

He looked away from me and then charged at me growling and Emmett actually pulled me back from him. It was terrifying.

"What would you have me do, Isabella?" he spat. He registered the fear on my face and softened a little.

"Come home." It barely came out in a whispered breath.

He walked away shaking his head and running his hands through his hair. "Why, Bella? Why him and not me? Why are you with him? Why do you even ask me to return with you if you're with him?"

My heart ached for Edward; he didn't know it was all a ploy to get us all out alive.

"Because I love you," I said the words and meant every one of them. I hoped he would believe them.

He looked up at me with a hopeful look in his eyes. I continued, might as well make this a good novel as Aro said.

"Edward, there are fifteen wolves and only seven of you." I walked over to him and he let me approach as his eyes stayed locked on mine. He let me touch his face. "I would do anything for you. I need you."

He leaned into my hand and groaned a little and then pulled me into his arms, burying his face in my hair. "Let's go home," I whispered.

Aro chuckled and grinned widely at Marcus. "Yes, definitely a good novel."

Carlisle spoke next. "Yes, well, we really must be going. We need to get her back before we all have to deal with a pack of angry wolves."

Aro smiled widely. "Of course, it was good to see you, my dear friend, do not take so long to visit again. I would be interested to see how that story ends," he nodded toward Edward and me. Then he spoke to me. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Isabella; feel free to drop in again." He had a wide wicked grin, Edward just growled.

Then the third man spoke again. "Edward, our offer will remain open if you get tired of…well..."

He didn't even finish his sentence as he gestured towards me. He just had a very annoyed look on his face. We all bowed and said our goodbyes and quickly made our way out of the castle.

It was late, or maybe early, but definitely the middle of the night. It was pitch black out and being in the vampire capital of the world did not set easy with me. I didn't relax until we pulled up to the hotel, but even then I wouldn't have called it relaxed. I managed to make it into the room, and then I just lost it. Now that it was finally over I could stop and realize how close to death I had just come to save Edward and his stupid neck. I collapsed crying but Edward pulled me up into his arms and that just set me off worse. I fought my way out of his arms and once he set me down, he stepped back wide eyed.

"How dare you!" I wanted to hit him. My fist clenched but I knew better. I raised my hand but stopped. "Emmett, hit him for me!

Emmett looked at me as if he was a little scared of me and inched over toward Edward with a confused look on his face. Edward just shrugged. Emmett punched Edward in the shoulder and it didn't even budge him.

"Harder!" I shouted and then a laughing Rosalie came out taping a crow bar in her hand.

Edward suddenly got a very worried look on his face. "Rose, she could hurt herself."

She just smiled. "No, Alice said she would be fine and you deserve a good beating after what you put her through." She handed me the crow bar with an evil grin.

She didn't have to say a word. I whacked him in the shoulder that Emmett had punched. He didn't move but he rubbed his shoulder. At least he felt it. My hands struggled to grip the bar through the vibrations but I brought it back and swung it again and again.

"Don't you ever leave me again!" I punctuated each word with a hit. Then I just collapsed crying. Edward approached cautiously.

"You know the truth, you know they're not his, you know better!"

He had a pained expression on his face and then looked up at Alice.

"It was the only way to get her out alive, Edward."

Then Esme stepped in. "You realize your little stunt almost cost more than just your own life, but the life of my daughter and my grandchildren. You're lucky I don't take that crowbar to you myself!"

Carlisle quickly wrapped his arms around her.

"Do you think any of us would let her die without a fight? My whole family was almost lost because of you! Don't you EVER do anything so STUPID again! Do you hear me, young man?"

Carlisle gave Jasper a look and Esme started to relax in his arms. Edward's face was pained. He knew all the words Esme spoke were true. I knew him well enough that he would be upset with himself and withdraw. I would lose him again if I didn't do something fast.

"Edward," my voice was weak. I reached out to him and he came to me immediately, lifting me and taking me into the hotel bedroom where the women had waited. He lay on the bed and I curled into his arms and cried until I fell asleep from exhaustion.

**A/N: Lemon next chapter! Hope you stick around for it. Thanks for reading and please review!**


	17. Chapter 17 confusion

**All Characters are Stephenie Meyers**

**There is a Lemon in this chapter. Enjoy! Just two more chapters after this and then maybe a sequel!**

**Chapter 17 – Confusion**

**EPOV**

She was in my arms. She was sleeping in my arms. The shock of the events exhausted her and if I could sleep I was sure I would be as well, but I sat with this angel in arms that had been tainted by my eternal hell. She had said that she would never love me, yet she was here in my arms. She had said she loved me in front of the Volturi. I wondered if that was part of the act but then she exploded at me, beating me with the crow bar. I felt the impact but the pain did not come, as my body was focused on her. Her words. 'Don't you ever leave me again!' My dead heart could have soared in that moment from her insistence that I never leave her. I didn't ever want to leave her.

Esme was right, though. I had not expected to be caught by my family, by Bella. How they had any idea what I had gone to do was beyond me. I was careful not to decide on anything. My family was used to me sitting in the mountains at night watching over my meadow in the distance. Waiting for her return.

I wondered who this creature was in my arms. Was she my Bella or sweet Bella? She had the intensity of my Bella, but she still felt distant like sweet Bella. My Bella would love me enough to risk her life to save me, sweet Bella would not. Even as she clung to me in her sleep, her face buried deep in my chest, her arm was wrapped around me but not her legs. My Bella always twined her legs in mine, but sweet Bella would never allow me on her bed, let alone sleep in my arms. We had one night of bliss months ago where she let me hold her but she became very guarded after that night. She didn't trust herself or me. I could never figure out which but she never gave me more than a light kiss after that night.

I was suddenly afraid that sweet Bella's decision to not love me was affecting my Bella's behavior. They were in a sense the same person and I hoped that my Bella would still love me even if sweet Bella had chosen not to. Tears trickled down her face in her sleep and my heart broke for my love. I didn't want her to be upset. I gently wiped the tears from her cheeks and kissed her head. Her eyes opened, filled with a pained look of despair and I wished I knew how to fix it. I kissed her cheeks, drinking up the tears that covered them and then made my way to her lips. She stiffened for a moment and then relaxed into my kiss. I silently begged that sweet Bella's hatred for me would not affect my Bella's love so much that she would not allow me to hold her anymore.

I was scared when she stiffened under my kiss, afraid she would pull away but she didn't. She kissed me back and I was fast falling back into the heaven that was my Bella's arms. My kiss grew frantic as I pressed her against me. I needed her; I need her to love me. I pressed my body against her as my lips attacked her. I heard small gasps of pleasure and continued my assault. I would have her before she left again. My hand slid up the back of her shirt and she moaned into my mouth as I pressed myself between her thighs. Her heart was racing and I wanted to feel it thump under my hand. I slid my hand around to rest over her heart and kissed down her neck, feeling the pulse that held its matching beat. My hand slid up and covered her breast, gently stroking the nipple as I claimed her mouth again. When I released her lips, I noticed her eyes darting around the room.

"Edward, where is everybody?"

"They took the other jet home. It was Carlisle's friend's jet and he needed to return it. We'll fly back on ours when we're done here," I said as I kissed her neck. I heard her swallow hard and I watched the muscles in her neck contract. "Is everything alright, Love?"

She gave me a nervous smile and pulled away from me. My arms ached for her presence. I was sure she could read the disappointment in my face.

"Edward. I'm not her."

Her words sent my mind into a spiral of confusion. Not her, not my Bella. I realized my touching her had probably upset her.

"I'm sorry," I said and quickly backed way across the room, giving her the space she would need to be comfortable. It sounded like her heart beat faltered for a moment as I moved away. I looked back at her and she looked, hurt.

"I'm sorry, I should have realized." My words seemed to hurt her more. She looked away from me and slid off the bed.

She walked to the door and stopped. "I'm the one that came for you, not her."

Her words beat across my dead heart. It was sweet Bella that had come to risk everything for me and I had hurt her by not knowing it was her, by loving someone else.

"Bella, I..." I wanted to stop her from leaving, stop her from hating me but I had no words to fix this.

She suddenly turned to me and stormed up to me and shoved me. "I LOVE YOU! ME! NOT HER!"

I went to grab her but she swatted at me. "Don't, don't touch me! I saw how you are with her. How you love her. I could see it and feel it in your touch. You NEVER look at me like that, you never hold me like that! You don't want me like that." Her last words were defeated and she fell back on the bed sobbing.

"Bella, Love," I said as I carefully moved closer. "Please, Love," I whispered as I moved onto the bed and took her in my arms, she didn't fight me. I kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear. "I want you, I always have. Do you not remember our first kiss? I've wanted you madly since that night. Needed you, craved you, I want you."

She sucked in a deep breath; she was listening.

"You were so scared of me, so afraid of things that were to come. I didn't want to scare you anymore, Love. The panic in your eyes in the hospital when you found out I'd been with you, I never wanted you to feel that again. I didn't want you to be afraid of me, but I never stopped wanting you."

She rolled over in my arms burying her face in my chest. She gripped me tightly and I held her just as tight, letting her know I felt the same way. I didn't want to lose her. I felt her shift her hand, slipping it up into my hair and I felt her fiery lips on my neck. I suppressed a groan, fighting against my body. Then she surprised me as she kissed up my neck to my ear and licked it. I fought the instinct to press her into the bed and take her.

"Love me, Edward," she whispered and kissed from my cheek to my lips, "Make love to me, make me her." She pressed her lips to mine and her words had me completely confused. I kissed her back, fighting to control myself, not wanting to scare her. My hands caressed her body on their own, pressing her into me, savoring the moment she was giving me.

"Stop splitting us, Edward, make us the same." Her hand slid under my shirt and I pressed against her out of instinct, my body moving on its own accord. I wanted her; she had to know I wanted her. I could show her how much I wanted her so she would never question it again. I kissed her as if I was starving. I kissed her as I'd been dying to since that night. I pressed her back into the bed, arching into her so she could feel how much I wanted her as I kissed her. Her hands blazed hot trails over my skin and she moaned out in pleasure and pressed back against me. I purred in response. I tried to fight it but I couldn't. Not with her rubbing back against me. I kissed down her neck trying to hide from her, scared of what she thought of my purring. Then I heard a giggle. I looked up surprised.

"Edward, are you purring?"

I hid my face from her embarrassed. I felt her fingers running through my hair and I fought the need to purr again.

I felt her lips at my ear. "I like it," she said and licked my ear and that was all it took.

I kissed her franticly for acceptance and she met me with vigor. I tested the waters, sliding my hand up her shirt. She had let me touch her earlier and I wondered if she would stop me this time. I pulled back and looked into her eyes for any hesitation but then I felt her hand on mine, pressing it up to her breast. I let out the breath I was holding and smiled.

I kissed from her lips to her ear. "I may growl as well."

I felt her cheeks move as she smiled.

**BPOV**

He thought I was her. I knew he thought I was her because he never let his hands roam so freely over me, not ever, but his icy touch on my breast was heaven and I wondered why I had fought him so long. I was self conscious and wondered where everyone had disappeared to while I was sleeping. He told me they went home and we would leave when we were done here. My heart beat out of my chest and I swallowed hard. He thought I was her and he wanted to have sex with me or her or whoever it was, but right now he needed to know it was me. He asked if I was alright as I pulled away from him. He looked like he was in pain as I removed myself from his arms. He ached for her and it hurt me when he pulled away after hearing that it was me.

My words were met with shock and an apology but that was not what I wanted from him. I wished he would have just said I knew it was you. I wanted you. But he didn't, he just kept his distance from me like always. I wished he would just stop apologizing so I yelled at him so he would shut up, making sure he knew who'd just saved his ass. It was me who risked everything for him. It was me who faced death; It was me that realized the other Bella was right all along. The thought of losing Edward exploded as a mass of pain in my chest when I read the words she had written. She was right, I needed him, loved him beyond even my own understanding and I couldn't fight it. I just wished he would love me the way he loved her.

He reached for me and I swatted him away from me. I retreated back towards the bed, finally letting my frustration over how he worshiped her and not me spill out. I collapsed on the bed defeated, knowing she would always have his heart. I curled into a ball trying to hide from him and stop the pain in my chest. He wasn't mine.

I felt him get on the bed. I longed for him to love me. He wrapped his arms around me and I wanted him to want me the way he wanted her. He kissed my cheek. He knew it was me and I need him to want me.

He promised that it was me he really wanted all along, but he didn't want to hurt me any more after the way I had reacted to him, and I could finally see what he was saying. I had freaked out and pushed him away. I listened my heart pounding taking in each word. He wanted me. I turned in his arms and nuzzled in his chest, taking in his scent letting it work its intoxicating magic on me. I needed a moment to gain the courage for what I was about to ask of him. I was scared of rejection but scared of what I was asking for as well. I slipped my hand into his hair and kissed up his neck. I felt him still, trying to control himself no doubt, but I couldn't have that. I licked his ear and whispered for him to make love to me. I moved to his lips feeling his resolve waver as asked again, wanting not to replace her in his heart, but to merge the two of us together as we should be.

His hands fought against his own restraint and ran freely over my body. He needed to stop holding back and let himself love me the same way he loved her. He needed to make love to me so we could be the same person. As long as I also fought this, his Bella and I would forever be split. He needed to make us the same person and stop thinking of us as two different women. We were one in the same.

He pressed me into the bed, kissing me like the starving man he was and I felt him once again press into me. I could feel how much he wanted me and as his body moved against me I felt like it lit me on fire. I pushed back against him, kissing him frantic, answering his want. I heard what sounded like a soft purr rumbling in his chest. He kissed down into my neck and almost stilled his movements. It was then I realized I'd giggled at him. He looked up at me, confused or maybe embarrassed.

He quickly hid his face from me. It was embarrassment that I saw. I ran my fingers through his hair. I needed to fix this so I let him know I liked it. And I did, I made Edward purr. I licked his ear hungrily, eager to taste him again, and that little action seemed to wake him up. He attacked my lips with renewed enthusiasm. He pulled back for a moment and slid his hand into my shirt, watching my face for any hint of protest but he would not get any from me. I proved it by pushing his hand up further to my breast. He seemed to let out a breath he was holding.

He kissed down from my lips to my ear and then warned me about him growling. If that sounded as sexy as his purring, he could growl all he wanted. I smiled because I knew we were not going to stop. He was going to make love to me and he was going to growl if I had anything to say about it. I wanted to hear him purr and growl in pleasure as he took me. He was slow and careful with his touch, constantly asking with his eyes if it was okay. It was sweet but starting to get frustrating.

I surprised him by pulling his shirt up, letting him know I wanted it off. Then he lightly tugged on mine and I complied with a relieved smile. Now we were getting somewhere. Then my body exploded under him. Without warning he pushed my bra out of the way and took my breast into his mouth as he pressed himself between my thighs. I couldn't stop myself; I called out his name as I pressed his face into my chest. That was when I heard it; a low growl that vibrated from his chest and over to mine, intensifying the sensation. I pressed my hips up into him harder. His hand slipped behind me down my pants, grabbing my backside and pressing me harder against him, forcing more friction. Involuntary moans of pleasure left my throat; I had lost control. His lips found mine, swallowing up my sounds. His tongue was sweet in my mouth as I felt his hand trace over my stomach, headed down to where I was hot and throbbing with need. He stopped and slid his hand to the side, tracing my thighs.

He kissed my ear and whispered, "May I touch you, Bella?"

I couldn't speak so I just nodded yes.

He smiled and kissed my lips again. It was then I realized he had already removed my pants and panties out of his way. I suddenly felt hot, like my head would explode and then his cool fingers touched me and it just magnified it. I couldn't catch my breath as my body coiled in response to his touch.

"I want to taste you, Love."

I was suddenly self conscious as he kissed down my body, licking my breast as he past it and then settled between my thighs with a smirk, as if he knew something I didn't. I was right; he did know something I didn't. His mouth on me was amazing and there was no keeping me quiet as I screamed out in pleasure. I was on the verge of passing out when he finally stopped. I had never had an orgasm but I was pretty sure he'd just given me four. I lay panting and exhausted next to him as he kissed up my body. His touch spread tingles across my skin, calling to me. I wanted to touch him, needed to touch him. His lips found mine again and he was within reach. When my hand found him, he jumped a little. He was hard as a rock and purred as I stroked him through his pants. He suddenly growled and pressed down between my thighs, rubbing against my sensitive bare skin. I gasped, calling his name in response.

"I want you," he growled out. "I want you, but I don't want to scare you."

I kissed him in response and when he pulled away he looked up at the headboard of the bed.

He kissed down to my ear and growled out, "The headboard will not survive, but I promise, you will. Please don't be frightened."

I realized as I felt him against me that when I was distracted he had removed his pants. His cool skin pressed between my hot thighs. I felt like I was on fire. He kissed me softly, rubbing against me.

"May I have you, Love?" he whispered.

It was now or never. I needed to just do it. I grabbed him and pulled him down, kissing him with vigor and letting him know it was okay. I felt his tip press into me and then he looked into my eyes again asking if it was okay. I nodded yes and he moved slowly forward pressing gently, kissing me softly as he did, letting me know he loved me. Once he was completely in, I let out a gasp and was panting hard. He held still waiting for me. He kissed by my ear. "Are you alright, Love?"

I nodded yes, still not able to talk. My body was still so sensitive. I felt it instantly coil in response to his movements. He was moving at a slow measured pace watching me carefully, kissing me, loving me gently. His cool fingertips brushed over my nipples, sending me over the edge again. I heard him growl in response as I cried out his name loudly. When I composed myself, I found him smiling it me.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered through his purring.

He kissed me, needing more. He started moving faster and my body seemed to respond to him instantly. I matched his pace and gasped for air again as my body coiled in response.

He was at my ear. "I'm close, Love, please don't be scared."

I couldn't answer him. I felt a cool finger on my breast and his lips took in the other. That was it; I was gone again. I screamed out his name again and as I did I felt the absence of his touch. I felt his pace increase as his growl changed to a roar. He was stretched over me, the headboard giving in to the pressure of his grip. The loud sounds of destruction filled the room for a moment as I felt him pulsing inside me. He was reaching new depths and sent me over the edge for a third time. His movements began to slow as I regained my composure and he smiled down at me. Parts of the headboard lay in shambles around us. He smiled down at me and when I smiled in return he chuckled. He shoved the debris off the bed and lay down next to me. He pulled me into his arms and kissed my head.

"Rest, Love."

And I did, I was exhausted. My body fought to breathe normally, and when my gasping finally slowed I fell asleep.

My mind was reeling. The dream I was having made no sense. It was all over the place. Different times were flashing forward and back. The one constant that remained was that I loved Edward. I watched myself in insanity, I watched myself lost and in love. I started to recognize some of the scenes, some of the events. I remembered throwing myself from the cliffs; I remembered trying to kill myself when I thought he didn't want me anymore. I felt the great despair of him not wanting me. I remembered Jacob in the hall, kissing me as I stood there in a towel in front of him. I suddenly remembered it all. I remembered the past events that Jacob and Edward told me about but I also remember the future, but not just one; there was more than one. They seemed jumbled and fighting for coherency. Most prominent in them all was Edward; he was always with me. I loved him and I knew how to love him in return.

I woke up wrapped up in Edward's arms. I kissed his chest and he smiled down at me.

"Morning, Love, rest well?" he asked.

I wanted to try out my newfound knowledge, test it, to see if it was all real. I moved up to his lips and smiled.

"What?" he asked with a smile.

I licked his lips in response and kissed him. He was a little surprised but gave in. I found his sensitive spots on his bare chest that I had always known. His groan turned into a purr and then he pushed me back and looked at me carefully.

"Bella?"

I just giggled. It had worked; we were the same person now. "I remember, Edward."

His face changed to hopeful. "You remember?"

I nodded and climbed back up his body, hitting his hot buttons on my way, forcing a growl.

"Oh, Bella." He kissed up my neck to my lips. "You remember everything?"

"Yes, Edward. Everything."


	18. Chapter 18 crazy kids

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter 18 - Crazy Kids**

**EPOV**

Carlisle was with Bella, he had just given her something for the pain and I stepped back into the room hoping that she would allow me back now that she wasn't in as much pain. She looked exhausted and I felt bad for doing this to her. I approached carefully trying not to upset her. Her eyes found me and they were full of tears.

"Don't leave," she whispered.

I hurried to her side, taking her hand and kissed it. "Never, Love."

Her water broke and she gripped my hand tighter.

"It's alright love, you're doing great."

I kissed her forehead and wrapped my arm behind her hoping the pressure would help.

"Just let the painkillers work, Love. Just try and relax and let your body take over."

I could hear Esme and Rosalie pacing in the hall. Jasper was holding Alice, who was cringing at each of Bella's screams. I could see her plan to dismember me for hurting her friend. Emmett was getting the last minute things that Rose insisted we would need. I couldn't help but smile at her devotion.

Three hours later, Renesmee and Elizabeth Cullen made their appearance into the world a full ten minutes apart and I was officially a father, something I long thought would never happen. But here I was holding my daughters in my arms with my wife smiling up at me.

Three months ago, Alice and Jasper had surprised us by meeting us at the church in Vienna. She had a dress for Bella and a smile. She made her promise to let her do the reception. Of course Bella agreed and though her parents were not thrilled that she'd eloped to Vienna with me, they did not complain. She was mine, Bella was truly mine and now we had our daughters, and we were a family.

"The cottage is ready when you are," Esme's voice broke into my bliss.

"Thank you, once Bella has rested up a little we'll head out to it." I kissed her head and she reached to take one of our daughters from me. I let her and watched as the baby snuggled into her chest.

"I think she's hungry," Esme said.

Bella blushed.

"Are you going to try to breast feed, dear?" she asked and Bella just nodded her head yes.

Esme kissed her head. "Okay, I'll let you be so you can try it out. Don't get frustrated if it doesn't work right away, everything I read up on the subject says it can be quite a learning process for mother and baby."

I watched Esme leave and turned to see the baby latch on to Bella's breast. She gritted her teeth and again I felt bad, it seemed like her pain was never going to end but Nessie seemed to be taking to feeding rather quickly.

"Edward," Bella's voice was a little worried, "You, uh, need to take her off." She was cringing and I was confused. "The baby, Renesmee is stronger than me; you need to take her off."

I nodded okay and gently reached down and pried the little monster off her breast. Bella quickly covered it, gasping in relief.

"Are you okay, Love?"

She peeked under her hand. "Um, I don't think I can breast feed."

I looked down at Nessie and saw the blood dripping from her mouth. I couldn't believe I didn't smell it; there was just so much all over from the delivery. I quickly moved her hand and checked her breast and she actually laughed.

"I guess she takes after her father."

I didn't think it was funny. I was worried about there being venom in her system but there didn't seem to be any.

"She's just hungry, Edward, and I'm afraid it's for something I can't give her, at least not and stay alive." She gently swiped her finger across the baby's mouth and put the drop of blood in mine. "Best not to waste the good stuff," she said as I took it.

God, she was perfect.

"I'll send Rose out to get some blood for her. I'm sure she had Emmett pick up bottles for her."

Moments later Rose and Esme were at the door. "Alice said she would some need help feeding the girls." She held up two clear bottles filled with blood and a pair of hopeful smiles. Bella just smiled. I could tell Rose was holding her breath.

"Why don't we have Rose and Esme take the girls out to the cottage, we can follow them once you're ready."

Bella gave a pouty smile. I knew she didn't want to give up her babies but I think she was a little nervous to hold the little monsters when they were hungry, especially since Renesmee had already had taken a bite out of her.

"Okay."

Rose literally squealed at Bella's answer. She quickly took Renesmee from my arms, and Esme took Elizabeth. Rosalie offered Renesmee the bottle of blood and she attacked it eagerly.

Bella smiled. "Yes, definitely takes after daddy." I couldn't help but kiss her.

**BPOV**

The past three months had zipped by in a blur of diapers and bottles. I heard a squeal as I drove up to the house and knew what the results were going to be before I ever took the box out of the bag.

"Alice!" I chided, "At least let me confirm it and tell Edward first, okay?"

She grinned and immediately settled down. I walked in to see Edward rocking Elizabeth in his arms. I dug out the rattles I bought for the girls and handed one to Jake who was gently rocking Renesmee. I went to the bathroom, wondering why I even bothered to take the test now since Alice had already confirmed my suspicions.

I took the test and waited. I knew from the future knowledge I had that we would end up with four kids before I was twenty. I let out an exhausted sigh. I had seven vampires that didn't sleep to help me out and Jake who was ever present and attentive once he saw our little Renesmee and imprinted just like I knew he would. He spent most of his time waiting his turn with her. Edward was watchful during his visits, reading his thoughts closely. After a few months of this, you'd think Edward would let up, but I suppose he had his fatherly duties to perform. However, nothing would deter Jake from being near his Renesmee.

I leaned over and looked at the test. My heart skipped a beat and I suddenly felt warm inside. The boys were on their way. I heard a light knock on the door and turned to see Edward coming in. He was curious as to why I was smiling and then looked down at the test sitting on the counter and then back at me again. He did a double take and then he finally spoke.

"Are you…?"

I didn't let him finish I just nodded my head yes and he took me up in his arms, covering me in kisses.

"I can't believe it," he said in between kisses. "Truly amazing, you're truly amazing."

Then I heard Jacob call from the living room. "Okay, if you guys are going to do that I'm taking the girls and we're going to go for a little walk."

I just burst out laughing. "No, Jake, we're not doing that." Then Edward kissed me again. "At least I don't think so."

Edward started laughing. "Shall we go tell the others?"

"Well, I suspect Alice knows."

"Of course, but we can still make an official announcement. We didn't get to do that last time."

I kissed him softly as he hugged me. "No, we didn't."

He picked me up and before I knew it we were headed out the front door.

"Come on, Jacob," he called to him.

We burst in the back door laughing, Jacob following confused.

"There here!" Alice screamed jumping up and down.

Everyone quickly gathered in the living room.

"We have an announcement!" Edward said proudly.

Alice was practically vibrating in her seat. Rose quickly took Elizabeth from Jacob, pleased to have a baby in her arms and Esme leaned into Carlisle. Emmett looked like he was about to pounce on Jasper, but Jasper just stepped to the side and Emmett missed. Rose kicked him and told him to stop it.

"Well, Edward, what is it?"

"Bella's having a baby."

"I thought you guys already had the babies," Emmett said and I burst out laughing.

"I'm going to have another."

"More BABIES!" Rose's excitement was sweet.

"Yes, I'm going to have another one or, um, two. Carlisle, you mind playing obstetrician again?"

"I would be delighted. Bella, you think it's two again?" Carlisle asked and I nodded.

Esme hurried over and hugged me, rubbing my tummy. "Oh, Bella, that's so wonderful," she said and kissed my cheek.

Alice screamed, "Shopping!"

"Really, Alice, we have plenty of time to get what we need for Anthony and Masen."

"Anthony and Masen?" Edward questioned and I just nodded.

"You remember, don't you? We get all of them."

Edward's grin split his face. "Are we really going to do this, are we really going to have them?"

I felt giddy; his excitement was potent. I kissed him deeply, unable to resist him. "Yes, we're definitely going to have all of them."

It seemed Carlisle was remembering something. "Then are you really going to have two boys?" Carlisle asked.

Emmett seemed to perk up. "I could teach them to play ball."

"Yes, we'll have our family, all of them with time, and once they're here you'll change me, no arguments," I poked Edward in the chest.

He took my hand and kissed it. "Whatever you want, Love. Anything you want."

Carlisle took me to do an ultrasound in the basement and was excited to find I would be due in March. He gave a hard look at Edward. "You didn't give her much of a break, did you?"

I laughed and Edward had a sheepish grin on his face.

"It's alright, Carlisle; I'd like to get them all here before I get too old. I knew what I was doing." At that both of them looked at me with raised eyebrows. I heard Alice laugh from the doorway.

Anthony and Masen were born March 12th and the labor went much quicker. Rose waited with bottles ready to take them. Jacob had the girls down in La Push for the day. I didn't want them to hear what I was going through. With their vampire hearing and memory, it was not something I wanted them to be afraid of, especially since Carlisle suspected they may one day be able to have families of her own.

Once Anthony was out Masen was quick to follow and by far was the easiest delivery since he decided he didn't want to come out the traditional way. He appeared in Edwards anxious arms and he almost dropped him not sure what was happening. I was a little sore but I'd been knocked out for the whole thing. Altogether, I felt great. My family was finally all here.

Masen, by far, was our most difficult child to keep track of, as he tended to disappear. I frequently had to catch him, as I was his most favorite person to escape to, although he did escape Alice and go to Esme once as well. Thank heavens for vampire reflexes. So far we'd been lucky and he had not been dropped. Little sneak.

It was just the beginning of the trials that came with raising children who were incredibly gifted. Elizabeth had surprised us at a young age. Not only could she read minds, including mine, she could push her thoughts into others so they would know what she was thinking. Carlisle suspected that she was able to read and 'speak' to my mind because she was my daughter and shared my genetic material. I was not surprised when Edward started spending hours on end conversing with her silently. Elizabeth was definitely a daddy's girl. Anthony had taken to Emmett. He was the more athletic of my two boys and I was thankful he was blessed with a shield to keep him safe. He learned quickly and could expand it like a ball, frequently coaxing his uncles into a game of catch, using him as the ball.

Renesmee was almost as difficult as Masen. She could time slip at a young age, fast forwarding to the parts of the day she wanted to be in, and skipping things like naps. It was Jacob that helped me get her to settle down. He adored her and she adored him as well. If it was not for him, I would never know "when" my daughter was.

**A/N: I know, four kids is a lot and may seem cheesy but I have my reasons, so bear with me. Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19 ever changing

**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter 19 - Ever Changing**

**BPOV**

Edward was especially nervous now as he was preparing to change me. Jake had gotten us permission for the change and Edward seemed to be stalling. We'd made arrangements for the girls to stay out at Jake's for the weekend. Rose and Emmett were going to keep the boys with the help of everyone else. Edward had promised to stay with me through the change.

He laid his head on my chest. I felt him sobbing softly. "I don't think I can do it, Bella. I can't stop your heart."

Right on cue, Masen popped between us and Edward laughed. "I told you this would be a problem."

"I know, but you'll be here to hold him." I kissed his fuzzy red curls.

I heard Rose yelling at Emmett.

"We have him, Rose," Edward called to her laughing.

She hurried up the stairs. "Sorry. Apparently, Emmett was being boring."

"No, it is fine," I said as I kissed his little fuzzy head once more and past him over.

She smiled down at him with such a deep genuine love that I knew he would be okay while I was out. Once she left the room I went back to running my fingers through Edward's hair as he listened to my heart.

"If you love me, you'll do this, you'll change me so I can be with my family, with my children forever, please don't take them from me."

He looked down at me with sad eyes and nodded okay.

Carlisle slipped into the room. "Are we ready?"

I nodded yes.

"We're going to start with morphine. It'll probably put you to sleep, and it'll make what Edward has to do a little easier on the both of you."

I felt the morphine spread throughout my body, numbing every part of me. It was then I realized I would probably forget all of my glimpses of the future.

Edward smiled down at me and kissed me softly. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes." It came out in a whisper.

He kissed down my lips to my neck. "I'm going to bite you, Love, so you can be with me forever."

I felt his cool lips and then he licked my skin, sending shivers through my body.

"Really, Edward, four kids is enough."

He couldn't help but chuckle. He took my face in his hands and kissed me again. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

It was too hard to open my eyes to see his beautiful face again but I knew he would be there when I woke up. I felt his cool teeth on my neck as he whispered sweet words of love to me. I felt the sting of his teeth and the burn of the venom. I felt him pull the blood from my body, and then he stopped, licking again, closing the wound. I felt him moved down to my wrist and my ankles as well. I felt him push more venom into my arties in my arms and legs. The burn was spreading fast but the morphine held me silent. I felt his cool hands run up my stomach. He rested his head there for a moment listening to my body fight.

"I can't, I can't do it, Carlisle."

"It's okay, Son. It's okay."

I felt Edward kissing just below my breast, right over my heart. His hands stayed on my sides. I felt a third hand. It must have been Carlisle. Then there was a sharp piercing pain through my chest and I felt like it exploded in fire. It was spreading fast, pushing outward to meet up with the rest of the venom. I wanted to scream out in pain but I couldn't move. I was being held captive by the morphine as the venom worked like fiery barbwire through my system, shredding and burning my humanity away. It seemed like an eternity, the morphine held me silent in my burning prison. I could feel Edward's cool body lean against my side. His lips were on my cheek and in my hair. I listened as he spoke. I fought to comprehend the words he was saying.

I heard him hum my lullaby and talk about starting Elizabeth on the piano in a few years. I heard him talk of the Alaskan tundra and the food we would hunt there. I felt the pressure of a hot little body on my chest and the cry of a baby. I heard Edward chuckle and say something about Masen. I wished I could focus enough to understand his words but it was hurting so much and it seemed to be moving faster. I heard Rose's panicked voice and then her relief. The little hot body was gone again. Edward's voice was a constant hum through the pain. I tried to focus on him and hear him but it was hard to process anything other than wanting to scream. I wanted to but I was held still by the morphine.

The little hot body appeared twice more. I heard the chair rock in the corner as Edward calmed the fussy Masen. I wondered how much longer I had; I wanted to get back to my family. I wanted to hold my babies, hug my kids. I wanted to kiss my sweet Edward. My heart started to beat faster in my panic. At least that was what I thought it was. I heard Edward call for Carlisle and Rose. I felt warm hands on my face and hands. It didn't make sense, who was touching me? Who was here besides Carlisle and Edward? I missed their icy touches that calmed the flame that burned under my skin. The fire was sizzling out, coming to a head in my chest. The sound of my frantic heart beating loud echoing through my body and I could barely hear Carlisle speak.

"No, she's fine, Edward, she's fine. She'll be waking up soon."

I finally felt some relief. It would be soon; the pain would end soon and there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel. My heart stopped suddenly. I still couldn't move and then it beat twice more, slow and empty. The fire was just a little pin prick in my chest now. Yes, it was almost gone. Then with one finally thump it was done. I lay silent, relieved. I listened to Edward's panicked voice. I felt warm hands touching my skin and face. That was wrong, who had the warm hands? I didn't want them to touch me.

Then I felt something warm press against my stomach and heard Edward's sobs. What was wrong, why was my love upset and who was this person on my stomach? It didn't feel hot enough to be Masen. I fought to open my eyes, and they finally decided to give. My body felt so still, so stiff. It felt hard; not to move, but like bending rock against rock for the first time. I thought if I moved, my joints would all groan with the effort.

I looked down and took in the sight. I needed to make sure it was not Masen on me before I moved; I didn't want to hurt my baby. My eyes saw that perfect bronze hair slumped on my stomach. My hands itched to run through it. It shined with more intense color now through my new eyes and I wanted to see if it still felt as good. My hands twined up in my angel's hair and his head popped up, his glistening eyes finding mine.

"Bella, oh, my Bella," he kissed my face all over franticly and smiled.

His scent when I was human was good, but now it was glorious. I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with the perfect aroma that was Edward. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him deeply, pulling him over on top of me. I started to deepen the kiss but then I heard someone clear their throat. Who was here? I sniffed and they smelled familiar. I glanced around and my eyes found Carlisle watching us with a wide grin.

"Welcome back, Bella."

I searing hot little body suddenly popped between Edward and me. It didn't burn like the venom but it would take some getting used to, like holding a cup of hot coffee. Masen's scent wafted over me. Edward moved fast with Masen away from me. He stood in the door with him, looking at me worriedly as I took in my baby's scent. I heard him call for Rose. He looked at me warily. Rose quickly took my baby away and I pouted. Edward approached slowly watching at me carefully.

"Does your throat hurt, Love?"

I stopped to think about it and now I realized it did. I grabbed my neck and looked at him a bit panicked. The flaming venom was still burning in my throat, why had it not stopped there?

"It's okay, Love, you're just hungry. We're going to take you to get something to eat."

I could hear Rose talking to Masen; he was fussing. My heart broke I needed to take care of my baby. "Masen," my smooth voice tinkled, alien and new sounding to my ears; I wanted my baby.

Edward gave me a sad look. "He's not food."

I scowled at him. "I know that, he's fussing," I snapped at him.

Did he really think I would hurt my own baby?

"He's okay for now, Love, we need to get you some food and then we'll come back to the kids, okay?"

I looked longingly at the door. I heard the window open. I turned to see what was going on.

"This way, Love."

I listened to the little thumping of heartbeats. I heard the second one and heard a giggle. "Anthony," I said smiling.

Edward smiled; he must have heard the laugh, too. "Yes, he's playing with Emmett, and as you can hear, he's fine. Please, Love?"

He held out his hand to me. I was instantly at his side as soon as I thought it. I looked back at the bed I had just been laying on and then back at Edward and he smiled that sweet beautiful smile and I wanted to kiss him again. So I did.

Adjusting to being a newborn was difficult but everyone reassured me I was doing remarkably well. The theory was that since I had made the choice and was aware of what I would become at the time of the change, plus my adamant remembrance that humans were people and not food all helped me adjust quicker than I might have otherwise. The first year was difficult but by the end of it I was comfortably interacting with Charlie again. I enjoyed cuddling with my babies again and loved that I never felt tired. I could just hold them forever as they slept in my arms taking their naps and I would not tire or ache for relief.

Everything was finally as it should be. Everything was right with the world, at least my world, as far as I could remember. I had Edward and my children. I had my extended family. And best of all, I had me. I was sane, happy and immortally alive. After all I had been through and seen, both pasts, present, and futures, it was about time my life took a turn for the better.

And it certainly had.

**A/N: So, they have their happily ever after, sort of. Bella can't remember something important that is buried in the back of her mind that was bad. If you guessed that it was in the future where Bella was hurt very badly, (remember Disneyworld in Chapter 8?) you guessed right. Of course I have not written the sequel yet and I won't post it until I have. Thanks for reading!**


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